When The Past Comes Back To Haunt You
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: An unexpected visitor is about to turn the lives of our favourite team upside down! Not only must they deal with the new arrival, but soon things come to light that threaten to tear the team apart... T for now. MA chapter/s-Making The Most Of It
1. A Familiar Face

Author's Note-Hey, so I'm in a slump with Happy Endings thus I'm trying something new to try and break myself out of it. I am well aware that the timeline with this story doesn't add up, so please don't go on and on about it, just accept it and go with the flow. Please let me know what you think of this story, it's the first one I've written without a Tiva pairing. Plus, it's a little different to my usual storylines. Also, this story has to be dedicated to Zivacentric, who has provided the much needed help and support in making the decision of jumping aboard this ship. Thank you Sweetie, expect more hand-holding to be needed as we progress haha. :D Okay, read, review, enjoy! NYLF xx

* * *

Tony, Ziva and Tim all sat at their desks while Gibbs had disappeared about ten minutes before without a word. The team were all working on the suspicious hanging of a petty officer. With a dodgy suicide note and Gibbs' gut both pointing to murder over suicide, they had opened the investigation and were looking for and eliminating suspects; had been for the last day and a half. The bullpen was quiet, unusually so. Tony was half asleep, slumped over his desk as he mumbled eliminating questions into the receiver of his desk phone, Tim was working, slowly, through their victim's bank and phone records and Ziva was multitasking as only she could; checking in on their BOLO for their victim's car, helping Tony with their substantial list of suspects, liaising with local LEO's and writing up her paperwork for the case before. Just an ordinary Wednesday afternoon. Which is why, when Tim's phone rang and security told him that someone was there to see Agent Gibbs, he told them to bring them up without hesitation.

"Agent McGee?" Rick from security announced his and their visitor's presence. The three agents looked up with a synchronicity that everyone had come to expect from Team Gibbs.

"Cheers Rick." Tim stood to greet their guest. The young woman thanked her escort as he retreated back to the elevator before turning to face the team. She stood at about five foot five with a perfect hourglass figure. Her beautiful crystal clear ice blue eyes flitted from one team member to the other while she subconsciously played with the edge of her light blue shirt with the hand not hooked into the belt loop of her light blue frayed jeans. She stopped playing with her clothing long enough to raise a hand.

"Umm, hey." She started rather shyly. "I was told I could find Agent Gibbs here?" Tim leant against the edge of his desk.

"He's not here right now, and we don't know when he'll be back. May I ask what it is you need him for? Maybe one of us could help?" He asked politely. She shook her head, her high fire-red ponytail, which sat just short of the middle of her back, swinging with the movement.

"I don't think you can." She shifted from one foot to the other. "Do you have any idea where he is?" Tony looked from their guest to Ziva, who was glaring at the young woman.

"He's probably going for coffee." He smiled at her and she laughed, shaking her head.

"I suppose I should have known that." Tony puzzled that for a moment.

"Then you might know how unpredictable he is?" She nodded with a knowing half smile that had an air of familiarity to it.

"Yes, I have a vague idea. Is there anywhere I can wait?"

"Who exactly are you, by the way?" Ziva asked rather abruptly, making her jump and both men shake their heads at her.

"I should have introduced myself. My name is Pennie." Tony smiled reassuringly, noticing, as he was sure Ziva had, that Pennie had moved minutely closer to him, putting more distance between herself and Ziva.

"And why do you want Agent Gibbs, _Pennie_?" Her name sounded bitter coming from the Israeli's mouth and Tony looked at her imploringly.

"Zi!" Pennie quickly turned to him.

"It's okay Agent…?"

"DiNozzo, but please, call me Tony." Pennie smiled until Ziva scoffed.

"I need to speak with him Agent…?"

"David." The fact that she hadn't given her her first name so as to make them less formal didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

"Agent David." She smiled tensely. Tony rounded his desk and mimicked Tim's stance. He looked her up and down, taking in every detail, causing Ziva to glare at them both. "Umm, so, _is _there anywhere I can wait for him?"

"Umm, sure, I'll take you to the Conference Room." Ziva was on her feet before he had barely finished speaking.

"Sure. Why not?" Pennie turned to the woman with much more confidence than anyone was feeling from her.

"Agent David, have I done something to offend you?" The tears in her voice were undeniable. "Only you haven't said a single nice word to me since I arrived." Tony stood in a gesture of camaraderie for her, prepared to step between them both if the need arose. Ziva glared at them both.

"Well, when you come in here, demanding to see our boss, with no explanation, and casually flirt with any man you see, did you expect me to be nice? You could be anyone." Pennie shook her head as tears started to pool in her eyes.

"Where is the ladies' room please?" She asked Tony who quickly shot a look that quite clearly asked _'what the hell?'_ at Ziva before turning back to Pennie.

"I'll show you, this way."

* * *

Tony stood outside the ladies', leaning against the wall, ready to take Pennie to the Conference Room and reassure her about Ziva. She had been in there for about five minutes before Tony decided to check on her.

"Pennie?" He asked concernedly as he saw her leaning over the sink, tears pouring from her closed eyes. She jumped at his voice and was quick to try and wipe away the tears.

"Agent DiNozzo. This is the women's bathroom; you are not supposed to be in here." He smiled as he came to lean beside her, facing away from the mirror.

"Tony, and I do this a lot." He chuckled before turning his head to face her. "Are you okay? You really mustn't worry about Ziva; she's just a bit…."

"Combative?" Pennie asked slowly. Tony laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, yeah. She doesn't play well with others." She smiled gently.

"She bit my head off because you were nice to me, I kinda got that impression." Tony chuckled.

"Sorry. I don't know what got into her. She's usually alright." He pushed off the sink and went into one off the stalls, returning with tissue for Pennie. She thanked him before wiping away her tears. "So, how do you know Bossman?" She smiled slowly, turning to face the wall before leaning against the sink again.

"I've known him for, a while. I haven't seen him in years, and we didn't leave it very well. To tell you the truth, I am a little apprehensive about seeing him again." The complete omission of 'how' didn't escape him.

"You didn't marry him did you?" Pennie laughed incredulously and Tony couldn't help but joining in. She had one of those laughs, one of those smiles, you just can't help joining.

"No." She laughed, shaking her head. "Heavens no." She turned to face him. "I don't suppose you can assure me that he'll welcome me back into his life with open arms?" Tony shook his head slowly.

"I don't think I know Gibbs well enough to do that. If it helps though, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you." She smiled sadly. Tony's phone buzzed in his pocket. "It's McGee, Gibbs has just got back. You ready?" She faltered before nodding. "Okay, come on." He squeezed her hand before holding open the door for her.

* * *

"Tony, where the hell have you…?" Gibbs started before he noticed Pennie. Tony gently pulled her in front of him.

"You have a visitor boss." Pennie smiled shyly while Tim and Ziva looked on with interest. "Special Agent in Charge Leroy Jethro Gibbs, this is Pennie. Pennie, Agent Gibbs."

"Hello Pennie." Gibbs answered tensely. Pennie's smile tightened slightly.

"Hello Daddy."


	2. Apologies and Promises

Author's Note-Okay, a slightly shorter chapter, but it made sense to end it where I did. Thank you so much for the reception this has received. I wasn't sure about it, but I am now :D. TLO, I would have replied privately but you showed up as a guest. Thanks for the welcome :D Happy to be part of it. I'm glad, despite her sigh, that I have peaked your interest before and am happy to have you aboard for this, happy to have everybody aboard really. I hope you all stick with me for the ride, my multi-chap fics seem to be never ending lately. I hope this answers some of your questions. I think I've sorted out the timeline issue, but feel free to let me know if my maths is a wee bit dodgy. Okay, I'll stop rambling now and let you enjoy the chapter. NYLF xx

* * *

"Daddy? !" All three agents asked simultaneously the shock singing on their features. Pennie turned from one face to the other before looking back at the man in front of her.

"You didn't tell them?" Gibbs dropped her eye as he shook his head slightly. "I can't believe you. How could you not tell them?"

"Pen…" Gibbs started tenderly reaching out to stroke her cheek but she backed away from the touch. Tony's quick side step to stand beside Ziva, who had now joined the group and was looking a strange mixture of confused, shocked and pissed, was the only thing stopping her backing straight into him. "Pennie, please, listen to me."

"Was I born?" She asked softly, hurt shining from her.

"What?"

"When you started working with them, was I born?"

"Yeah?" He answered slowly, not sure where she was going with this.

"Did you know about me?" Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah, Pen, I did." He sighed regretfully.

"Then what's your excuse for not telling them? Hmm?" She backed up again as he took a step towards her. Ziva flicked her gaze between Gibbs, Pennie and Tony as she practically felt the wheels turning in his head.

"Wait, how old _are_ you?" Ziva elbowed him in the ribs but he ignored her.

"Twenty seven as of March twentieth, not that _you_ remembered, _daddy._" Tony winced, not at all happy that it had been his question that got Gibbs in more trouble. "Why?"

"Does that make you Kelly's sister?" Ziva and Tim both turned to him in shock, no one daring to look at Gibbs. It was an unmentioned rule, no one talked about his first wife and child, ever, far too personal, far too raw. Not even Ziva got _that_ privilege and she and Gibbs had been secretly dating for just under half a year. He mumbled his apology when Gibbs turned slowly to face him.

"No, Kelly was, gone, by the time he met my mom." Pennie supplied with guilt that no one could place.

"And Pen was four when I met her." Realisation settled on his agents' faces.

"So, you're her _step_father?" Ziva asked just to make sure she'd jumped to the right conclusion. Gibbs nodded tightly, still watching Pennie.

"Then he left, three days after my fourteenth birthday." The three adults to which that was news all looked at their boss incredulously.

"Pennie, we need to talk about that." She shook her head.

"Mom drank herself nearly to death for the whole next year before finally crawling inside of a bottle of sleeping pills on the anniversary of you leaving. I had my daughter three weeks after her funeral. "

"You had a kid at _fifteen_?" Pennie's jaw set and Ziva smirked discreetly at how Gibbs-ish she looked.

"You have no right to comment on my life choices, you left remember?"

"I left your mom Pen, not you." Pennie relaxed slightly just before her lower lip trembled. "Tony, you're in charge until I get back." He wrapped his arm around Pennie's shoulders and gently led her to the conference room. "Come on." He murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

* * *

Gibbs ushered them both in before closing and locking the door. Pennie sat on the chair nearest to her and slumped almost immediately. Gibbs pulled his chair so he could sit directly in front of her and took her hand.

"We're alone now." He assured her quietly and she nodded wordlessly before flinging her arms around his neck. He held her close as she trembled, nuzzling into her neck and breathing in the young woman he never thought he'd see again.

"Why did you leave daddy?" He sighed and held her tighter.

"I shouldn't have left you there Pen; I should have taken you with me. I can only apologise for that." She took a shaky breath, intending to remind him that he hadn't answered her question, but he beat her too it. "I left, because your mom and I were toxic. If I had stayed I would have been putting you in danger, and that, was something I could _never_ do." She pulled back just enough to look him in the eye.

"Why didn't you take me with you?" Gibbs sighed.

"Because I had fallen in love with someone else and I wasn't your legal guardian Pen, I had no rights. If I had taken you, your mom coulda and probably woulda filed kidnapping charges against me." He gently caught a falling tear. "Where did you stay, after your mom died?" She shrugged.

"Here and there. I stayed with Pete's mom until I was eighteen; she died shortly after my birthday, and then went to stay with Shaun and his parents until I got a place of my own."

"Pete, as in your biological dad, Pete?" She nodded. "Why with his mom and not him?" She shrugged.

"He was in jail again." Gibbs sighed frustratedly. "He has never been part of my life, I didn't miss him."

"But you needed him. You'd just had a baby and lost your mom for God's sake." He shook his head. "I'm guessing Shaun is your boyfriend?" She bit her lower lip gently. "Pennie?"

"I married him, and had another child by him but..." She paused and took a deep breath. "He's actually the reason I'm here." Gibbs kissed her forehead as her tears made themselves known again.

"I didn't protect you then Pennie. Should have, but didn't. But I promise you, I will now."


	3. Meeting The Kids

"Where are the kids?" Gibbs asked several minutes later.

"They're at a friend's. I have to go pick them up in twenty minutes." He took her hands in his.

"Bring them here. They can stay with us until you can go home." She looked up sharply.

"Are you sure?" He nodded surely. "The youngest, he's only three." He shrugged.

"If it becomes inappropriate for him to stay in the squad room then the director owes me a favour. Actually she owes me several. He can stay with her, don't worry kiddo. We'll sort it." They exchanged a smile. "Okay, so shall we go back and get my team briefed and on the case?" She was unsure.

"Aren't they working a case?" Gibbs shrugged.

"I have a feeling they'll be finished by the time we get back." She smiled knowingly, his _feelings_ were usually right.

"Okay."

* * *

"Boss, Petty Officer Roberts, our victim's flat mate, he's our guy." Gibbs smiled at Pennie who chuckled shaking her head.

"Good. Take Ziver, go pick him up. We have a new case so wrap him up quick." Tony caught the keys Gibbs tossed him with a nod.

"Okay, give us twenty boss. Nice to meet you Pennie." They both grabbed their gear and were swiftly on their way. Neither giving the pair another glance.

"Pennie, do you need a lift to collect the kids?" Pennie shook her head.

"It's okay; I'll take a cab." Gibbs shook his head and motioned at Tim.

"McGee'll take ya. Do you have a car seat for the youngest?" She nodded. "Good. Bring 'em straight back here."

* * *

Tony and Ziva had returned from Interrogation, after their easiest confession ever, by the time Tim and Pennie came back. They were having a very animated conversation about how easy their suspect had caved until they noticed the sleeping toddler on Pennie's hip. They immediately stopped talking so as not to wake him.

"It's okay." Pennie assured them, barely altering her usual speaking volume. "He's out like a light, you won't wake him." Tony smiled and Ziva gave a small smile herself. The small boy rubbed his eyes in his sleep before settling again, nestling his dark chocolate, still baby-fine hair further into his mother's chest. Pennie smiled, dropping a kiss onto his head before turning behind the partition next to Ziva's desk with a small, reassuring smile while Tim returned to his desk. "Sweetheart, they won't bite." The book she was holding rounded the corner before the young girl did.

She was a little short for her age with even deeper red than Pennie's, shoulder length hair, donning a thin black headband, with side swept bangs across her forehead and her mother's eyes which were framed by semi-thick black framed glasses that clearly lacked lenses. She was holding a very well loved, clearly very well read '_To Kill A Mockingbird' _and was reading at the speed of light, not even looking up at the group that was now staring at her intently. They all shared one thought: Abby would love her. She wasn't aware of how much attention her black with white polka dot halter-neck dress with red belt and matching knee length Doc Martins, all topped off by a red flower fastened to the strap of her dress and a cherry necklace, were receiving, she was far too into her book. Pennie sighed.

"It's got to be the twentieth time she's read that book this year alone."

"Twenty second." The girl answered not breaking her concentration. Pennie smiled.

"This is Lauren." Lauren pressed a 'Better a Witty Fool, Than a Foolish Wit' bookmark into the spine of her book and turned to face to group.

"Lauren Jessica." She smiled. "Everyone calls me LJ." The team all quickly glanced at Gibbs before quickly averting their attention back to LJ. "Mom says we have to stay here." She addressed Ziva who nodded softly.

"Yeah, you can just sit in a corner and read if you would like?" LJ smiled a brilliant, crystal white, perfectly straight, smile.

"See mom, not everyone thinks me unsociable for wanting to read." Ziva smiled before turning to Tony with a look of confusion. He was making all manner of strange faces.

"Tony?" He visibly jumped at her voice.

"I was just…" He pointed at the toddler that was now curiously staring at Tony from his mother's shoulder. "He woke up." He shrugged. The little boy stretched his arms out and grabbed at the air in Tony's direction.

"Ethan, baby, maybe Tony doesn't want to hold you hmm?" She addressed the toddler before turning to Tony. "Feel free to tell him no. You don't need to be too hypnotised by those big blue eyes of his." Tony smiled.

"I don't mind. As long as you don't?" He backpedalled quickly before smiling at the shake of Pennie's head.

"Not at all." She made quick work of snuggling Ethan onto Tony's lap. Tony held the little boy close as he drifted between awake and sleeping. Gibbs smiled at the scene. His family, his life partner and his two surrogate sons, had simply accepted Pennie and the children into their world, just moving over to make them room. Pennie met his eye and smiled back.

"Pen, what's going on with your husband then?" Gibbs asked, trying to get his team focused on the case rather than the children. He watched the smile fall from her face.

"Perhaps we could call in one of those favours? I don't really want the children to hear this." LJ looked up at her mother with curious eyes.

"Mom, would you like me to take Ethan and go find a vending machine or something?" The young girl looked from one adult to the other and found them all staring at her. "I know how this works; I'm old enough to know when it would be best for me to make a quick exit stage left." Ziva smiled at her.

"Ziva, why don't you show the kids to the break room. We'll get started on this case." Ziva nodded to her boss her eyes portraying something much more heart wrenching than their usual smile to him, before she crossed the bullpen and hoisted the toddler onto her hip.

"Come on, LJ; let's go get you both settled." LJ was by her side immediately and the whole team watched them go before turning back to Pennie.

* * *

"May I ask you a question?" LJ asked as Ziva stood beside the vending machine, helping Ethan decide which drink he wanted.

"Of course." She bent to retrieve the bottle of juice before turning to face her at the table. "What is it you'd like to know?" She opened the bottle and held it out to the small boy before helping him drink from it.

"The man, that mom calls 'daddy', he's your boss, right?" Ziva nodded tensely, sitting beside her at the table.

"That's right, yes." She pondered that for a moment.

"Has he done something to hurt you, only you don't seem to like him very much at the moment, unless that's just an all-the-time thing?" Ziva's features softened slightly.

"We…I discovered...recently...that he didn't tell…us something that may be harmful to…the team's…dynamic." She told her haltingly. LJ tilted her head in question.

"Were we that 'something'?" Ziva sighed.

"You are a very observant young lady." LJ smiled.

"I read a lot. I have read several books on human psychology and how to read body language. You seemed tense and unwilling to make eye contact with him for any length of time." Ziva smiled.

"A very, _very_ observant young lady." LJ smiled gently. "Now, I must get back to my job and helping your mother. Will you be okay here?" She nodded.

"We will be fine." Ziva smiled before carefully swinging Ethan off her hip and onto his sister's lap. She retrieved five silver dollars from her purse.

"Get whatever you'd like. Someone will be along soon I'm sure." They exchanged a smile.

"Thank you…"

"Ziva." She smiled.

"That means radiance, brilliance or light of God in Hebrew." Ziva's smile widened.

"Very good. I will see you soon."

"Thank you Ziva." She nodded before leaving them both to it and going back to the bullpen.

* * *

Ziva re-joined the group silently, watching as Pennie paced while the three men looked on. Just as Ziva took a seat, Pennie's story started tumbling from her lips.

"Shaun was wonderful at first, loving, attentive, he was fabulous with LJ. He got up in the night more times than I did." She laughed nervously. "We had a brilliant relationship. We got married five years ago, and we actually planned to have Ethan." Pennie looked from one face to the other, lingering on Gibbs, before returning her gaze to the floor. "About a year ago, he hit me for the first time." The whole bullpen felt the sudden tension in Gibbs. "I know what you're thinking: 'why didn't I leave then?' Honestly, I don't know. I should have, I understand that now, but I just, couldn't." She sighed, tightening her ponytail with shaky hands merely to give them something to do. "He was drunk, and apologised profusely, the children were asleep. I accepted his apology and it was another six months before he hit me again. LJ, LJ was in the room." Pennie sighed as the tension in Gibbs, and now the others, was amped up a level. "She begged, _begged, _me to leave. She's isn't stupid. She knew what was going on. I should've listened to her." She leant against to partition beside Gibbs' desk, her knees not able to hold her at the thought of the next part of the story. "I left him last week, the moment he raised his hand to Lauren." In that moment, all four agents swore revenge on the man, none more than Gibbs. "I can deal with him hitting me, but that, that just doesn't fly; no one raises a hand to my children." She sighed again, more deeply this time, before addressing Gibbs. "I think he's following me daddy. I've seen him lurking around and I keep getting the feeling I'm being watched. That's why I came to you."

"Why didn't you come to me when he hit you? I woulda sorted it Pen." He growled, the whole team had been able to pinpoint the exact point he'd gone into Papa-Gibbs mode. Pennie shook her head.

"I thought I could handle it. I should have, though. But I'm coming to you now, with a request that you help keep my children safe." There was a moment of silence as Pennie's desperate plea sank in before Gibbs stood to attention.

"Okay, Pennie, you're staying with me until he's locked up, I don't want any arguments." Pennie nodded, she wasn't going to argue with anything that would keep her children safe. "DiNozzo, I want financial and phone records for this guy." Tony turned back to his computer.

"Yes boss."

"McGee, find me everything we can on this guy." McGee was busily typing.

"Already on it boss."

"Ziver." He looked over at her and noticed, not for the first time since Pennie had showed up, that she refused to make eye contact.

"Yes, Gibbs?" He sighed silently.

"I want to know where he's been, who he's seen, the works for the last fortnight." She nodded and got to work. Gibbs turned to Pennie.

"Pen, I think it's time that LJ and Ethan met our director." Pennie nodded before silently following him to the break room.


	4. Cases and Confrontations

Author's Note-Massive thanks to the AMAZING ZC! She has so brilliantly helped me with this chapter when it just wasn't working! Okay, gushing over, read and review please! NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs actually stopped at Cynthia's desk and asked if the Director was free. Pennie couldn't help but chuckle at the look of surprise on the woman's face as she buzzed her intercom.

"Director? Special Agent Gibbs is here to see you." There was a wonderful pause that was clearly shock filled and it put a full blown smile on Gibbs' face.

"Is he feeling alright?" Came the Director's reply and all of them could picture the smile accompanying it. Cynthia chuckled gently.

"I think so." There was another pause.

"Alright, send him through." Gibbs turned to the trio behind him and nodded towards the door. LJ took a breath and was the first to make her way to the door.

* * *

Jenny was more than a little surprised as the twelve year old made her way into the office, followed by her mother and little brother before Gibbs came in last and shut the door behind him.

"Agent Gibbs?" She asked, taking off her glasses and getting up to stand against the front of her desk.

"Madame Director." Gibbs smirked. "This is Pennie." Jenny shook her hand as they exchanged smiles. "She's having some, trouble." She and Gibbs had a silent conversation and Jenny nodded subtly. "Need a place for the kids to stay that isn't the bullpen." Jenny nodded before turning to LJ and extending her hand.

"Well then. Shall we get acquainted? My name is Director Jennifer Shepard." LJ took her hand and shook it. "But _you_ may call me Jenny."

"Lauren Jessica Harrod. You could call me LJ, given the informality you are allowing me." She smiled before nodding to her brother. "That's Ethan, my younger brother." Jenny gently took the toddler's hand and shook it while he watched her with fascination. "Agent Gibbs would like us to stay here, if you don't mind?" Jenny smiled broadly at her before turning to the adults in the room.

"It shouldn't be a problem. If it becomes an issue, I'm sure Cynthia will be more than happy to take them to the Break Room until everything is okay again." Gibbs nodded.

"Thanks Jen." She nodded. "Come on Pen."

"Pleasure to meet you Director." Lauren took Ethan from her mother and got him settled on her hip so Jenny could shake her hand.

"Likewise Pennie. We will talk later Jethro." He nodded before steering Pennie out of the door. "So, what shall we do first hmm?"

* * *

Gibbs and Pennie walked back into the bullpen to find the team gathered around Tim's computer.

"What d'ya got?" He asked, standing in front of the plasma.

"Shaun Harrod, twenty nine, graduated high school, barely, and never went to college. Never been in the military, and has received several DUI's but that's the only thing in his criminal record. We have checked his bank and phone records, nothing out of place except the inordinate amount of calls he's placed to two numbers." Tim explained as he threw the numbers in question up on the screen. Pennie shook her head. "Can you identify them?"

"This one is mine." She said pointing to the one he'd called the most. "And that's Lauren's emergency cell." She left the group to lean against Gibbs' desk. "She didn't tell me he'd called her." Tim gave her a small sympathetic smile.

"I don't know if it helps, but she didn't answer. He phoned her twelve times in the last week and she hasn't answered a single one." Pennie nodded. "We also tracked his cell. It's currently stationary at your home address." He told her. "With your permission, we'd like to look into where your cell's been for the last week to see if we can confirm that he's been following you." She nodded numbly.

"Do you need my phone?" Tim shook his head.

"No, just your number." He clicked buttons while Tony and Ziva both stood beside their boss in front of the plasma. Gibbs gently, discreetly, ran his finger along the top of Ziva's crossed arms until she not so subtly rolled her shoulders to get him to stop. He sighed. If he didn't know she was mad at him before, he did now. "Okay boss, I got it. You see? His cell number is in the same area as Pennie's multiple times. This could indicate that she was being followed." Tony shot the younger man a sideways look.

"Gonna leave anything for the rest of us to say McChatterbox?" Tim gestured, saying that he had the floor. "She was uhh, being followed boss." He mumbled, quickly realising there was little else to say.

"Thank you for that _invaluable_ addition to the conversation Tony. What _would_ we do without you?" Ziva sniped, her voice dripping in sarcasm. Gibbs looked from her to Tony just in time to watch his senior field agent's face fall, genuine hurt in his eyes. He quickly went back to his smiling bravado but Gibbs could see how her comment had hit him. He wrapped his hand around Ziva's bicep with more force than could be considered gentle and pulled her back slightly so he could talk directly into her ear.

"It's me you're angry at. You wanna snap, you do it at home." He murmured, not able to help the edge to his voice. She ripped her arm from his grasp and stormed away from him, headed to the elevator.

"I need coffee." She half mumbled, half growled by means of an explanation. Gibbs sighed and took after her.

"But, she didn't take her purse?" Tony noted, quite frankly confused by the whole incident.

* * *

Gibbs slipped into the elevator just as the doors were about to close. Without a single word to his obviously angry girlfriend, he hit the emergency brake. When she didn't even move to look at him, he sighed.

"Look, Ziver, I know you're angry." Ziva spun around to face him so quickly he momentarily worried she'd take her eye out with her ponytail.

"Whatever gave you _that_ impression _Gibbs?"_ He sighed, his heart sinking as he saw the hurt shining in her eyes.

"For one, you just called me 'Gibbs'." He spoke softly, regret and sadness filling each syllable.

"That is your name is it not?" He sighed, taking a step towards her and laying his hand gently on her cheek, she turned her head away from him abruptly.

"It's my _last _name Ziver. And nowadays, when it's just us, you only call me it when you're angry. Or I hurt you." She sniffed and his heart sank further. "I know you're hurting, I know. I didn't tell you about Pennie or her mom and I hurt you. I didn't mean to, but I did." He gently stroked his thumb across her cheek bone. She didn't turn to face him, but she didn't push him off either. He took that as a good sign. "You know how much I love you. You know that if I had thought she would ever become part of our lives, I would have told you. It had been so long...but I shoulda told you." She sniffed again, going to wipe her eyes but he beat her to it, catching the one lone tear with his thumb. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to break another of his rules for her. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I made you angry." She closed her eyes against the tears and allowed him to encase her. One of his hands slid around her hips and the other held the back of her neck to him while she locked both of hers under his arms and up onto his shoulders. "I'm sorry." He murmured into her neck before placing a kiss to her skin. Her shoulders shuddered and he held her tighter. "I'm sorry Honey, I'm sorry." She slowly turned her head so she could nuzzle into his neck and breathed him in.

"I know." She mumbled tearfully. She pulled back so as to look him in the eye. "I know." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before bringing her back into his arms. She sighed as she practically melted into the strength of his embrace.

"I'll tell her, tonight, I'll tell her about us." Ziva shook her head against his chest.

"No. You don't have to do that. She's your daughter, she is family." He heard the resignation in her voice; did she really still not know she was his number one priority?

"And so are you. Ziva you are as important if not more. I'll tell her. It's about time we started telling people anyway." She looked up at him with big innocent eyes. He couldn't help but smile at the shocked elation shining through the chocolate.

"But, work, and Abby and the team and Jenny and..." He lowered his head and kissed her into silence.

"Not everyone, not yet. But Pennie, and the kids, maybe even the team, if you wanna?" She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself onto her tiptoes. His arms automatically secured themselves around her waist and held her close, his heart soaring as he felt her smile against his lips.


	5. Bonding

After another five minutes of just holding her, trying to convey how much she meant to him with the embrace, as he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it as effectively verbally, he took off the emergency brake and the elevator shuddered back to its place.

"I, umm, actually am going to get coffee. I think I just need a minute." She told him almost shyly. Gibbs nodded and stepped out, watching as the door closed before turning back to the bullpen and his awaiting agents.

* * *

Jenny's phone rang just as LJ called checkmate for the fourth time. She sighed with a smile as LJ reset the pieces and leant over her shoulder to check on her brother who was happily colouring in the corner.

"Director Shepard… Yes Sir… no of course Sir… I shall meet you in MTAC in ten minutes… Yes Sir… Goodbye Sir." Jenny sighed frustratedly at the phone before hanging up. She noticed Lauren was staring at her with something that looked spookily like understanding. "That was the Secretary of the Navy. He's uhh, my boss."

"Would you like me to go and inform Cynthia that her babysitting services are needed?" Jenny smiled broadly at her before shaking her head.

"I'll tell her, are you alright putting the…" She stopped mid-sentence at Lauren's nod towards the already put away chessboard. "How did you know I was going to be kicking you out?" LJ giggled.

"You are _hardly _kicking us out, Jenny. You told Agent Gibbs that it may become inappropriate for us to stay in your office. I knew we would need to leave you to it, because of the way your back straightened and the tightness of your jaw, when the person on the other side of that phone call started talking." Jenny raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her. "Would you like me to take Ethan?" Jenny shook her head and quickly crossed the room to the couch in the corner before lifting the toddler into her arms and onto her hip. She motioned at the door with her head and Lauren was quick off the mark to open the door and tell Cynthia that she was needed.

* * *

"So." Pennie cleared her throat, drawing the three hard working agents' attention. "What now?" The two younger agents turned to Gibbs.

"We'll gather evidence, you'll make a statement, we'll talk to Jen, get an arrest warrant and then bring him in." Pennie nodded.

"We won't let him near you or the kids Pennie, I promise." Tony told her and she smiled gently.

"Thank you Tony." They exchanged smiles before Pennie's phone vibrated on Ziva's desk, where she had been sitting in the Israeli's absence. All three agents turned to her. "It's okay." She told them, reading the text she'd received. "It's from Lauren, 'Jenny has work to do, we're with Cynthia'. She's just checking in." Gibbs nodded.

"Hey boss?" Tony asked suddenly. He waited for him to look up before continuing. "Didn't Ziva go for coffee like twenty minutes ago?" A sudden stab of protectiveness shot through Gibbs' gut as he realised he hadn't even questioned her pro-longed absence. DiNozzo was right, she'd been gone now for close on half an hour and he hadn't even questioned it. The urge to Gibbs-slap himself rising, he took out his cell and rang her. It started ringing and Gibbs felt a little of the tension in his shoulders ease, at least she hadn't turned it off. But then it kept ringing.

"You have my voicemail, leave a message." He cursed under his breath, muttering something about rule three before dialling again.

* * *

Ziva's punch missed the bag as someone cleared their throat behind her. She pirouetted on the spot and felt a small smile spread on her face as she watched Lauren shift nervously from foot to foot.

"Are you okay? Where is Ethan? Are you not supposed to be with Jenny?" LJ took quick steps towards Ziva and held out her ringing cell. Ziva raised an eyebrow at her but took the phone all the same. "David, I'm fine, Gibbs...the gym...yes soon but LJ has just joined me so I may be a little longer...okay." She put her cell down on the bench beside her towel and turned to face her guest. "Where did you find my phone?" Lauren watched Ziva's face as she thought about her answer; seeing curiosity over anger she answered her.

"You left your gym bag beside the door, I suppose that was where you started, given the amount of perspiration you are, for lack of a better word, perspiring, you have been at this a while. I saw the screen flashing and went to investigate. I didn't go into your bag, but the phone stopped, and then started ringing again by the time I got to it. It seemed important that you took the call. Oh and Jenny's busy, Ethan's with Cynthia, who thinks I am going to the bathroom, which I did, but then got curious." Ziva considered this for a moment.

"I am not angry, by the way." Lauren nodded.

"I am aware." A smile ghosted across Ziva's face. "Umm, Ziva, may I ask you a question?" She nodded slowly, reaching for her water bottle and taking a sip. "Were you a dancer before you learnt to fight?"

"What makes you ask?" LJ shrugged, coming to stand beside her.

"Your stance. You have the balance of a dancer rather than a fighter." Ziva looked down at her self.

"Let me guess, you read a book on it once?" LJ giggled.

"Well, yes, I have." Ziva chuckled. "But I have also done kickboxing, and performed ballet." She smiled wryly. "In between reading." Ziva laughed properly before grabbing her towel and cell. She passed the phone to LJ before motioning at her to follow as they crossed the gym to her bag.

"Give me two minutes to have a shower and I will be back. Then we shall go find Cynthia and I shall get back to work." LJ watched her out of the corner of her eye.

"You sorted things with your boss, didn't you?" Ziva smiled as she faced her.

"What makes you think that?"

"You are smiling with your eyes. And you have less tension in your shoulders." Ziva laughed before leaving to make her way to the shower.

* * *

Once Ziva had returned LJ to Cynthia, making sure to press a kiss to the top of both of the children's heads, she returned to the bullpen and immediately started collecting evidence against Shaun. Gibbs silently asked her if she was okay and she smiled with just enough affection to make his heart soar in return. They worked solidly for the next four hours before someone clearing their throat at the edge of the bullpen drew their attention.

"Everything okay Director?" Gibbs asked, noticing LJ stood beside her, holding Ethan's hand.

"Everything is fine. I just thought I would come let you know that I have a meeting and seeing as it is nearly eighteen hundred, Cynthia has gone home. I suggest you do the same soon." Gibbs nodded.

"Will do. Won't be long." He turned his attention to LJ. "You alright to sit here for a bit?" She nodded. "Good girl. Thanks Jen." Jenny nodded.

"Not at all, we had a wonderful time." She turned to Lauren with a smile. "Maybe next time I can actually beat you." She laughed softly.

"Maybe Jenny." Jenny quickly ascended her stairs while the team got back to work. LJ looked on, not sure what to do. Ziva quickly got up and pulled the empty chair from the back of the bullpen up to hers.

"Here." She offered LJ. "Why don't you sit and read while we finish up?" LJ took the seat before shrugging.

"I've finished my book. It's okay. I can amuse myself." While Ziva started looking for something in her desk, Pennie got up from her spot next to Gibbs to try and stop Ethan as he toddled over to Tony. The man just smiled.

"It's okay, Pen. I got him." Tony smiled before hoisting the little boy onto his lap and facing him towards his computer. Tim, Gibbs and Pennie all smiled on, quickly realising just how natural they looked together. Ziva 'aha-d' drawing LJ's attention.

"I found a book, I knew I had one somewhere." Ziva flicked open the blank cover before sighing. "I could have sworn I had an English one." LJ sat up slightly straighter.

"What language is it in?" LJ asked before she could put the book back. Ziva turned to her, surprised.

"Um, Spanish, why?" LJ smiled.

"Spanish is fine. May I read it?" Ziva, and Gibbs, who had been watching the exchange with subtle interest, smiled. She handed over the book and LJ immediately sat cross-legged in her chair and started to read. With a small smile playing on her lips, Ziva went back to work.


	6. First Steps

They only worked for ten more minutes before Tim looked up at Gibbs.

"I've done everything I can for today boss, alright if I head home?" Gibbs stared at his agent for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, go on, see ya in the morning." Tim smiled as he quickly shut down his computer and collected his things.

"Thanks boss. Pleasure to meet you Pennie, see you tomorrow guys." He made quick work of the gap between him and the elevator and was in it before either of his colleagues even looked up. Gibbs looked over at his other two agents. Tony was writing something with one hand while the other was keeping Ethan safely on his lap, who in turn was happily colouring, while Ziva typed and clicked away, occasionally looking over at LJ who was already a quarter of her way through Ziva's book. Tony was the first to finish. He shut down his computer and shifted Ethan to sit on the edge on his desk while he holstered his gun and placed everything else in his bag. He slung it over his shoulder before lifting Ethan onto his hip.

"Can I walk you to your car Pennie?" He asked, making all the adults in the room look up sharply and a small smile appear on LJ's face. Pennie smiled, colour rising in her cheeks before standing to join him.

"I, uhh, don't have a car." Tony smiled awkwardly.

"I forgot that, fair point."

"Let him walk you out, I won't be long." Tony smiled at Gibbs over Pennie's shoulder before turning back to her.

"So, can I walk you out?" He asked again, teasingly. Pennie nodded.

"That would be nice. Shall I take Ethan?" Tony shook his head as she grabbed Ethan's car seat and they started towards the elevator.

"I've got him." He quickly turned back to LJ as the elevator arrived. "You gonna walk out with Zi, LJ?" She nodded without looking up from her book, causing the adults to smile. "Okay kiddo, see you soon." She nodded once more. "See ya in the morning guys."

"Goodnight Tony." Ziva smiled before getting back to finishing. Gibbs held up his hand in a wave and watched them enter the lift, talking as easily as if they'd know each other for years.

* * *

Ziva stifled a yawn as she started shutting down her computer and gathering her things. "Come on Tateleh, you may borrow the book but finish the line you are reading, we cannot have you walking into walls." LJ smiled removing her bookmark from her other book and placing it in the spine of this one.

"I can walk and read quite well actually." Ziva smiled.

"Why does that not surprise me hmm?" LJ giggled before standing and pushing her chair over to its rightful place while Ziva stood, stretched, holstered her gun and shouldered her backpack.

"Because in the few hours you have known me, you have built up a rather accurate picture of me." LJ replied with confidence that made Ziva smile. "Thank you for the lend."

"Not at all. Come on you, let's get you home." Gibbs joined them in the elevator just before it closed and LJ shot him a shy smile.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" She asked him. He turned to face her while leaning against the railing opposite Ziva.

"Ask away." LJ dropped his eye contact, the first time Ziva had seen her do it.

"What, what do I call you?" She asked quietly. Gibbs looked over at Ziva in shock, who urged him to answer her with a mere raise of her eyebrows.

"What do you wanna call me?" She shrugged.

"Mom calls you 'daddy' but I don't know you well enough to call you Grampa, plus, you aren't my grandfather, not biologically." Gibbs nodded. "Your team call you boss, and there is the obvious problem with that, or Gibbs. I am just not sure what _I _should call you." Gibbs tapped her chin gently, making her look at him again.

"You can call me Gibbs if ya like. Most people do." LJ nodded. "Okay?" She nodded again before turning back to the doors. He shot Ziva a look that clearly asked if he did okay, Ziva winked at him, reassuring him quickly.

* * *

Pennie sat in the passenger's seat of Tony's open car, talking to him while he played peek-a-boo with Ethan around it.

"You're really good with him." Pennie smiled. "Do you have children?" Tony snorted before peering round the end of his car to find himself practically nose to nose with Ethan who immediately ran around the side of the car shrieking with laughter.

"No." He chuckled. "I'm an only child too." Pennie watched on as Ethan came up behind Tony and jumped on his back. Tony, who had heard him coming, quickly secured his arms around the little boy's legs before spinning around with him on his back. Ethan giggled manically until Tony put him down when he ran off in a wobbly line back to the other side of the car.

"So you've had no practise? This is all instinct?" The amazement and amusement in her voice had him turning to her with a bashful smile.

"I have kid cousins I see every now and then, but pretty much I put it down to being, mentally, not far off his age." Pennie chuckled.

"I don't believe that." Their eyes locked for a moment before they both looked away, desperate for a distraction. The distraction came as Ziva and Gibbs started crossing the lot. Tony straightened up immediately and cleared his throat while Pennie went to retrieve Ethan. "Hey daddy." Pennie greeted quickly as she got Ethan settled comfortably on her hip. "Shall we get going?" Gibbs stared at her for a moment, trying to work out what she was hiding before nodding.

"Ziver, why don't you take LJ and pick up something for their tea before dropping her at mine?" Ziva's eyes snapped to his. "Got nothing kiddie-friendly in the house." He shrugged. Ziva narrowed her eyes at him slightly before nodding.

"Okay. Come on LJ." She held out her hand instinctually and LJ surprised her by taking it. The group watched as they walked to Ziva's Mini.

"You gonna trust her to drive a twelve year old around?" Tony asked jokingly. Pennie looked at him sharply.

"Why?" The worry in her voice made Tony regret brining it up until Gibbs chuckled.

"They'll be fine. Ziver'll keep her safe." Gibbs smiled, accidently allowing far too much affection into it. No one noticed. "Come on Pen, let's get you two back." He watched as Tony grabbed Ethan's car seat from in front of his car and skilfully slotted it into the back seat before strapping in Ethan while Pennie watched on with approval. Tony kissed Ethan's forehead.

"You be good for your mama, okay little man?"

"'Kay Tony." He replied and Tony ruffled his hair.

"Good boy." Tony straightened up and closed the door before he noticed that Gibbs had got in the car, giving them the privacy to say goodbye. Whether it was intentional or not he wasn't sure, but he silently thanked his boss all the same.

"That's the first thing he's said all day." Pennie told him softly, affection colouring her voice. Tony shrugged.

"He's a good kid." Pennie nodded.

"He is." Pennie smiled self-consciously and Tony chuckled, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "So, I guess this is goodnight?" Tony dropped his hand to his side.

"Yeah." Pennie laughed before reaching into her handbag and retrieving a pen.

"Here." She took his hand and wrote her number on the back of it. "I've never been shy to make the first move. Call me, yeah?" Tony smiled widely.

"I, will, _definitely_, do that." He chuckled before gently holding the top of her arm as he kissed her cheek. Once the separated, he took one of his business cards from his pocket and plucked the pen from her hand to write his cell number on the back. He handed back both items with a smile. "Now we're even." Pennie smiled gently.

"Goodnight Tony." She opened the passenger door and slipped in while he held the door. Once she was strapped in he closed the door and waved as Gibbs drove off. A huge smile crossed his face as he practically skipped to his car.

* * *

Author's Note-I hope you enjoyed this. Keep reading and reviewing, it gives me motivation to write faster.


	7. Assurances and Answers

Ziva loaded shopping bags into the trunk of her car while LJ leant against it.

"Are you sure you don't need a hand?" She asked quickly. Ziva smiled.

"I am fine. You can get in the car if you like." LJ shook her head. Ziva straightened up and looked at her with her head tilted. "Why not?" LJ shrugged before suddenly looking very nervous. Ziva was immediately stood in front of her. "Tateleh? Whatever is the matter?" LJ shook her head and refused to look up from her hands. "Lauren." Ziva started softly, gently resting her hand on the young girl's shoulder. "What is the matter?" LJ sniffed and glanced up at her before looking down again.

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to think less of me?" Ziva was shocked to say the least. Had she given the indication that LJ had to be perfect? She shuddered inconspicuously at the thought.

"_Nothing_ you could tell me would make me think less of you." She assured her. Lauren nodded before looking up at her.

"I'm scared." She whispered. Ziva didn't hesitate in taking her in her arms. "I'm sorry." Ziva rested her hand against the back of her head, holding her close.

"Do not apologise. You are allowed to be scared." LJ locked her arms around Ziva's waist as she cried into her chest. They stood there in silence for a few minutes before Ziva decided she had calmed down enough. "Which bit scares you the most?" Lauren sighed against her but didn't even attempt to leave the embrace.

"My father, he, he was a good man. I know you won't believe me, but he was. Once. Before Ethan was born, and I don't blame him, but before he was born, mom and dad were happy. They got along. Things went downhill from there though." Ziva didn't say a word and simply held her. She needed to get this out. "I'm not stupid; I know my father hit my mom. I know he did it even before I saw it. But I also think that if he hadn't of tried to hit me, my mother wouldn't have left him. She loves him, but she needs to love me more, y'know?" Ziva nodded. "I'm scared, because after everything, what if she just goes back to him?" That wasn't where Ziva had expected this conversation to go. She gently squeezed the young crying girl in her arms before holding her at arms length to look her in the eye.

"We will keep you safe, all of you." LJ nodded.

"I know." The sadness permeating her words made Ziva's heart hurt.

"Do you really think Jethro will let him within a thousand yards of any of you?" LJ shook her head, locking away Ziva's slip of the tongue for later clarification. "Right then. You trust us to keep you safe yes?"

"Yes." Ziva smiled and kissed her forehead before smiling and leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Then get in the car before the ice-cream melts." It had the desired affect. Lauren laughed before getting into the car. Ziva went round to shut the trunk as she took a deep calming breath.

* * *

Gibbs lifted Ethan out of his car seat and pushed open the door, leaving it open for Pennie while he put the toddler on the floor beside the sofa. Pennie stood awkwardly in the vestibule.

"You can come in Pen." He chuckled, locking the door before turning to her. "I'm gonna get changed. Make yourself at home." Pennie nodded before going to sit on the floor beside Ethan and checking her phone. She had no new messages. She watched Ethan play until Gibbs came back down the stairs now in jeans and his red hoodie. He quickly slipped into the kitchen and sorted out coffee for them both. Pennie stood in the doorway watching him. "You alright?"

"Mhmm." The distraction in her voice had him turning to face her. All he had to do was raise his eyebrows and she sighed. "I guess I just miss him." Pennie shook her head. "I know it's silly, daddy…" Gibbs shook his head.

"I, I missed ya mom." Pennie looked at him confused.

"But you never…?"

"No, I never laid a hand on her." Pennie sighed.

"You fought, all the time. Didn't you?" It wasn't really a question.

"Near the end yeah."

"I remember, being about twelve, thirteen and sitting on the top of the stairs. She was _screaming _at you." Gibbs sighed, he remembered the fight. "She tossed the kitchen table across the room didn't she?"

"And a chair." Pennie chuckled humourlessly.

"I came down stairs at like two maybe three in the morning for a drink and found you fixing it." Gibbs turned his back, only to reach for his coffee, before looking her in the eye. "You said you fell in love with someone else, that's why you left?"

"Yeah?" He asked slowly. Pennie took a deep breath.

"Did you, I mean, were you, unfaithful? I wouldn't blame you; I mean your relationship was basically over." She rushed to explain but Gibbs held up his hand to stop her.

"No. I was always faithful to your mom." He sighed as he saw the question in her eyes.

"Then how did you fall in love with someone else?" He leant against the side as he looked through her, memories flashing behind his eyes.

"My, partner." He didn't think it would be right for him to tell her the rest. She didn't need the extra confusion of having the woman who he'd left her mother for now being basically in charge of her safety. She didn't need to deal with that now. Pennie nodded before leaving the room to Ethan's call. Gibbs sighed. If telling her about Jen had been that hard, he couldn't _wait _to tell her about Ziva.

* * *

Ziva balanced three shopping bags in her arms and her backpack over her shoulder, as she tried the door. She sighed as she realised it was locked.

"Hey, LJ?" LJ was quickly by her side with the last bag.

"Yeah?" Ziva chuckled slightly.

"My keys. Front pouch of my backpack, can you get them?" She nodded and quickly retrieved the keys and unlocked the door. "Thank you." Ziva sighed as she bumped the door closed with her hip and took the bags through to the kitchen. Lauren relocked the door before she joined her. "Here, I'll take this. Why don't you go and see your mother?" LJ nodded and left Gibbs and Ziva in the kitchen.

"So, how'd it go?" Ziva shrugged as she started to put away everything they had brought.

"She is a very wonderful child, who is very aware of what people think of her." She leaned heavily on the freezer door as she paused halfway through putting away the ice-cream. "She asked if I would think less of her if she told me she was scared." Ziva shook her head before slotting the ice-cream in and closing the door. She sighed as she leant against the fridge-freezer completely before rolling her head to the side to face Gibbs. "She reminds me of myself Jethro, so much."

"Me too." Gibbs smiled. "You'll be good for her." Ziva smiled tiredly. "You alright?" She nodded before crossing the room and wrapping her arms round him. He immediately encased her.

"I hate fighting with you." She murmured as she nuzzled into his chest. He sighed and held her tighter.

"We'll not make it a habit then huh?" He chuckled. She snorted in the adorably unladylike manner he loved before leaning up to kiss him gently. When the kiss came to a natural end she snuggled into his neck and pressed a butterfly kiss to the skin she found.

* * *

"Ziva?" LJ's call from the living room had them springing apart lightening fast.

"Yes?" Ziva called back, going to the door way so they wouldn't have to shout.

"May we have dinner soon?" Ziva smiled.

"Of course." Gibbs clear his throat quietly enough that only Ziva would hear him before motioning at her. She held up her index finger at LJ before going back out of her sight. "_Now?" _

"Now or never Zi."

* * *

Author's Note-I'm sorry, I know I promised at least ZC, if not implied to everyone else, that the 'big reveal' would be in this chapter but it would get too long. I have plans for it that would take this character limit really high for me. Plus this way the chapters are mostly equal. Next chapter, I promise. And I meant it this time. (Also, you can't complain too much, at least I'm updating fast!) NYLF xx


	8. The Reveal

Author's Note-Okay, so hey. I was waiting for feedback on this chapter before I uploaded it (because it's so huge and I'm a wimp) but it seems like RL (the bore that it is) has got in the way. Plus I have the next chapter and a half written so I'm being brave and uploading it. I hope it lives up to expectations, remember that they still have to tell the team as well. Okay, *braces self* you can read it now. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva took a breath and Gibbs quickly took her hand in his.

"It'll be okay." She nodded, dropped his hand and walked purposefully into the lounge while Gibbs followed. He took a seat in the chair closest the door while Ziva perched on the arm rest. Lauren watched from her place sat cross-legged against the front of the couch while Pennie was tickling Ethan on the couch. Gibbs cleared his throat and Pennie looked up at him, eyeing Ziva warily.

"We shall get dinner sorted in a moment." Ziva started quietly. "There is something I, we, need to talk to you about first." LJ slotted her bookmark into the book and placed it on the coffee table. Ziva smiled at her.

"What's going on?" Pennie asked apprehensively, bringing Ethan onto her lap protectively. "Is this about Shaun?" Gibbs shook his head.

"No. This is more about, this, arrangement." Ziva told her haltingly. Gibbs could practically feel her trembling through the chair. He'd never seen her so nervous. "As you are going to be staying here, there is something you should know." She looked at Gibbs and he took pity on her. With a gentle smile that was meant for only her, he took her hand in his. Ziva smiled at him gratefully before turning back to the group. LJ's smile alleviated some of Ziva's nerves.

"I had a feeling there was more to this relationship than a working partnership." LJ smiled. Ziva chuckled and squeezed Gibbs' hand gently. "Good for you."

"I'm sorry, how old are you?" Pennie asked suddenly. Gibbs' eyes flashed but Ziva refused to rise to the bait.

"I will be thirty in November." She answered calmly. Pennie scoffed before turning to Gibbs.

"You're _dating _someone who is _three _years older than your daughter?" He sat up slightly straighter as he looked her in the eye.

"First off, as much as I love you like it, you're not blood. You have no say in this Pen." She sighed. "And I love her. Don't care how old she is." Ziva smiled, having him defend their relationship was new.

"Oh please, you're basically cradle-robbing." He felt Ziva tense slightly and was on his feet in seconds.

"DiNozzo's forty Pen." He told her heatedly, both telling her that he knew what was starting between them and bringing her back off her high horse.

"There's more than thirteen years between you two dad." Gibbs sighed.

"Yeah, there is. Don't care, nor does Ziver. It shouldn't matter to you." Pennie stood.

"I, I just need a minute." As she left Ziva turned to Gibbs.

"Go after her."

"You okay?" She smiled and kissed him softly.

"I'm fine, thank you for defending us, but she needs you more than I do right now. Go." He pressed a kiss to her forehead before following Pennie. "So." She turned back to LJ and Ethan. "Food."

* * *

Gibbs found Pennie sat on the porch steps, head in hands. He slowly sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She went willingly into his embrace. He felt her sigh against his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that." She murmured

"Why did you?" He asked quietly. She shrugged against him.

"I guess, I guess it just shocked me, that's all. I'm not stupid. I knew you would have relationships after my mom. I just guess I didn't expect Ziva to be your type. Or for it to be serious. And I mean, you don't act like a couple…" Gibbs sighed.

"Work doesn't know." Pennie sat up and looked him in the eye.

"You haven't told people at work? But they seem to know everything. You all act like a family, like cogs in one machine, how could you not tell them?" Gibbs sighed.

"Hard to explain." She tilted her head to the side as amusement flickered in her gaze.

"Hard for _you _to explain, or _actually_ hard to explain?" Gibbs chuckled. She had a point after all.

"Weren't sure where it was going at first. Didn't want to turn her world upside down for a fling. Just became habit after that." He sighed. "Gonna tell people, soon." Pennie curled her arms around her knees while she watched the darkening sky. "What's on your mind?"

"Ziva seems good for you daddy." She turned to him. "Are you happy?" He smiled a small intimate smile, the one he always had when he thought of the Ziva shaped soft spot in his heart.

"Yeah, Pen. I am." She smiled as she kissed his cheek.

"Then, I guess that's all that matters." Gibbs got to his feet before helping her up. "And about Tony…" He shook his head.

"So long as you don't distract his work, and he doesn't break your heart, none of my business." Pennie smiled.

"Thank you." He kissed her forehead.

"Come on."

* * *

Gibbs paused in the doorway to take in the scene before him. Ziva was curled up in the middle of the couch, one arm around Ethan's back as he sat on her lap, the other supporting the gallon ice-cream tub while LJ sat beside her, reading aloud from the book she'd lent her. Every now and then LJ would pause for a mouthful of ice-cream.

Ziva laughed heartily as Ethan missed his mouth with his own spoon and covered his face in it. She carefully wiped his face with the cloth she was holding for exactly that purpose before smoothly popping another spoonful into his mouth.

"You must be more careful Tateleh." She chastised gently.

"'Kay Ziva." He smiled as he swallowed and accepted the next spoon she slotted into his mouth. LJ paused once more to eat her own.

"LJ, Sweetheart, would you like me to read so you can eat?" She nodded around her spoon.

"Yes please." Ziva shifted the tub onto Lauren's lap and moved Ethan closer to it before taking the book with her spare hand. Pennie and Gibbs both smiled as Ziva's soft, gentle, reading voice filled the room, captivating both of the children. The words meant nothing to half the audience, but it didn't matter. Ethan still giggled wildly as her voice dipped and dived through the octaves as she put on different voices for each character and Pennie still watched on, finding more and more reasons to like the young woman.

* * *

Ziva was suddenly aware of an extra two pairs of eyes on her.

"We could not decide what to have for dinner." She babbled as she nervously turned to the other adults in the room. "I should have asked before giving them ice-cream." Pennie shook her head.

"It's alright." She smiled. "You're good with them." Ziva turned back to the children and received a reassuring smile from LJ.

"They are good children." She winked at her before turning back to Gibbs. "We should sort something out for their dinner." Gibbs smiled at the domesticity of the sentence before motioning at her to join him in the hall. Once she had passed LJ the book and deposited Ethan back on the couch, she swapped places with Pennie.

* * *

"Hey." Gibbs smiled as he gently pressed her into the wall, just out of the eye line of anyone in the living room.

"Hi." She chuckled. He leant in until his forehead rested on hers. Their lips met in a soft, clinging, adoring kiss. They moved in tandem, lips catching, clinging, before she finally pulled away and nuzzled into his neck with a soft contented sigh. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close to him as he could.

"I love you." He murmured into the shell of her ear before placing a butterfly kiss to it. She chuckled happily.

"I love you too." She sighed against the skin of his neck.


	9. Truce

Author's Note-My laptop's internet has shut up shop (this is my dad's) so updates probably won't be as frequent until that's sorted. I have only lost the internet (thank God) so already have things written for this but uploading may be a problem. Just thought I'd let you know. Okay, cheers. Read, review and enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Once she had left Gibbs' embrace, Ziva made her way through the lounge and into the kitchen to start dinner. Gibbs stuck his head around the corner and aimed a pointed look at Pennie before turning to the children.

"Do you kids have anything to wear to bed?" He asked. Pennie shook her head.

"We left in a bit of a hurry." She explained softly, more than a hint of guilt lacing her words.

"It doesn't matter mom." LJ reassured her before turning to Gibbs. "We can sleep in what we have on, it isn't a big deal." Ziva appeared in the space between the kitchen and lounge drying her hands on a dish cloth.

"Nonsense." She replied smiling. "Jethro, why don't you go get LJ a top and a pair of shorts of mine? I am sure they will do for the night. Ethan could wear one of yours?" LJ shook her head.

"Really, I'm fine in this." Ziva smiled.

"It is no trouble Malach."

"Are you sure?" Ziva nodded with a smile. "Then, thank you Ziva." Gibbs nodded to her before disappearing upstairs. Ziva went back into the kitchen and, after pressing a kiss to Ethan's forehead and squeezing LJ's shoulder, Pennie joined her.

"You didn't have to do that y'know?" She started quietly, leaning against the wall opposite the Israeli. Ziva smiled and turned to face her, mimicking her stance against the counter.

"I know, but I like to think that if the roles were reversed, someone would do the same for my daughter." Pennie dropped her gaze and Ziva turned back to washing the vegetables for dinner.

"Say, Ziva?" Pennie started apprehensively. Ziva turned to give her her full attention. "We got off on the wrong foot." Ziva nodded.

"I should apologise for my reaction to you in the bullpen. Due to Jethro and my relationship being under wraps at the office, I still get a little possessive when attractive young women come looking for him." Pennie chuckled.

"I understand." She smiled. "You're still pretty scary." Ziva laughed.

"You have no reason to be afraid of me Pennie. You are Jethro's daughter and I will treat you like it unless you or he gives me a reason to do otherwise." Pennie smiled shyly.

"So, maybe we can call a truce?"

"There is no need." Ziva smiled warmly. "I have no problem with you, and you have no need to have a problem with me. I hope we can be friends." Pennie nodded.

"I'm up for that." Ziva smiled. "Can I help?" Pennie motioned at the sink.

"Sure." Ziva stepped away from the sink and started to gather the rest of the ingredients while Pennie set about finishing the task Ziva had started.

* * *

Once everyone had finished eating, Ziva and Gibbs collected their plates leaving Pennie to bathe Ethan and LJ to read quietly beside the fire.

"So, you and Pen talk?" Gibbs asked as he dried the dishes Ziva had already washed. She chuckled.

"I thought you had had a hand in that discussion." She shook her head with a smile. "Yes, we spoke."

"And…?" Gibbs asked impatiently making her chuckle.

"And, she asked if we could call a truce. I said there was no need." Gibbs kissed her temple.

"Thank you."

"Not at all Jethro. You love her, and I love you." She smiled. "I will be nice until either of you give me a reason to do otherwise." Gibbs gently tucked a loose curl behind her ear. She turned to face him with a small smile. "No." She murmured kindly.

"You don't even know what I'm gonna ask yet." Gibbs replied playing indignant. Ziva dried her hands and laid them both on his chest.

"You were going to ask me to stay the night." Gibbs smiled. "You are getting to be far too predictable."

"Wanna spend time with ya." She smiled gently, tucking her head under his chin as his arms came to rest at the base of her spine.

"As do I, Jethro." She sighed. "But not tonight." Gibbs leant his cheek against her crown.

"We don't have to do anything, just wanna hold ya." She sighed.

"It is not that. I just cannot." Gibbs gently wandered his hands up under her top and started stroking patterns on her bare back. She sighed gently into his chest. "You do not play fair Jethro Gibbs." He chuckled, the sound reverberating through her chest.

"Never said I would." She smiled.

"Fine." Gibbs smiled triumphantly. "But I am staying on the couch." He chuckled before leaning in to kiss her passionately. He only pulled back when she moaned gently and he felt her knees waver slightly.

"Not a chance." He whispered in her ear.

* * *

Pennie entered the living room ten minutes later to find Ziva and Gibbs both curled up on the couch listening to LJ read. She paused when she saw her mother and both of the adults turned to face Pennie.

"Umm, I think it's time to get this one to bed. Where would you like me to put him?" Seeing Ethan on her hip, hair all ruffled, eyes drooping and wrapped in one of Gibbs' NIS t-shirts made Ziva's heart pang in a way that she didn't want to address. She smiled at the small boy as he waved at her sleepily.

"Thought you and him could take the guest room. LJ can have the spare." Gibbs told her quietly. Pennie nodded before turning to Ethan.

"Say goodnight poppet, time for bed-y byes." LJ stood and cuddle her brother pressing a kiss to his forehead before Pennie took him over to the couch. Gibbs immediately took him in his arms and hugged him.

"Nun-night." He murmured before looking at Ziva questioningly. She nodded and extended her arms before encasing Ethan and holding him close.

"Lailah Tov Neshomeleh." Ziva mumbled into his hair as she gently rocked him. "Sleep well." Ethan yawned against her and Ziva passed him back to Pennie with a small smile. Ethan waved once more before Pennie quietly took him upstairs, leaving Ziva to curl back into Gibbs and treasure the soft weight of the toddler in her arms.


	10. First Date

Once she had put Ethan down, surrounded by pillows in the middle of the king sized bed in the guest room, had assured a more-than-slightly-blasé-about-it LJ that she wouldn't be late and rather redundantly asked for Gibbs' permission, Pennie rang the number Tony had given her.

"Hey." Tony answered happily. "How are things at Bossman's?" Pennie chuckled.

"Things are okay. Umm, listen, I was wondering, would you like to maybe go get a drink with me?" She was becoming increasingly aware that not only had she not really dated before, but that she was a lot less confident talking to him now they were starting something.

"Sure." His simple reply put her at ease. "How about I come pick you up? How long do you need?"

"How long does it take you to get here?" She asked, before shaking her head at her blatant over the top flirty tone. She was this close to twirling her hair around her finger. "Sorry, I'm kinda new to this." Tony chuckled.

"Nah, you're doing good. It's a twenty minute drive. Shall I leave now?"

"That sounds great. I'll see you soon."

"Looking forward to it." Tony smiled before slipping on his shoes, grabbing his keys and jacket and heading over to Gibbs'.

* * *

"So, what's Ziva like?" Pennie asked hesitantly, sipping her second drink of the evening. Tony sat back in his chair as he considered how to describe her.

"She's got a lot of issues, things that aren't my place to talk about, and that makes her kinda hard on the outside. But she's very loving and caring. She's fiercely loyal and would lay down her life in a heartbeat if it meant saving someone she cared about. She's sharp as a tack, unless it's related to idioms, then she bumbles around like a preschooler." Tony chuckled. "She's pretty scary if you get on her bad side. It takes a lot for her to trust you but once she does she'd do anything for you. Heaven help you if you break that trust though." He sipped his beer thoughtfully. "She learnt how to be human when she came here. She's made a home for herself, a family, we love her and she loves us." He smiled. "Why'd you want to know?" Pennie shrugged.

"She is one of the people in charge of keeping my children safe Tony. I need to know what she's like." She knew it wasn't her place to tell him the rest. Tony chuckled.

"She's fabulous with kids. Very strong maternal instinct that one." She smiled gently.

"Have you and she ever…" Tony smiled as he shook his head.

"There were times, when maybe, we could have. But no. She's my best friend. She's stunning, don't get me wrong, but we're not in that place together." Pennie nodded. "Sorry, I'm calling my partner stunning on my first date with you, what was I thinking?" Pennie reached over and covered his hand with her own.

"It's okay. I asked. Besides, I'm not insecure enough to never let you say anyone else is attractive. Not that it's my place to tell you what you can or cannot say." He smiled as he turned over his hand to interlink their fingers. "I don't know how fast I can go with you Tony." She murmured, breaking eye contact in favour of watching the table instead. He squeezed her hand lightly.

"I'm not gonna rush you Pennie." She met his eye at that. "I've just met you, and you're still married. Besides, I've changed a lot since my days of just falling into bed with someone." She smiled intimately.

"Does the fact I'm married bother you?" Tony raised his eyebrows at her. "Sorry that came out wrong, that wasn't what I meant." Tony chuckled.

"Relax." She blew out a breath. "Better?" She nodded. "You're asking if the fact that you've been married bothers me, right?" She nodded into her drink, glad he was taking control of the conversation. "The answer's no. It bothers me what he did to you, what he tried to do to LJ. That bothers me. But the fact that you've been married before doesn't." She smiled. "Pen, have you ever actually been on a date before?" Colour stained her cheeks and she shook her head slightly.

"I was fourteen when I got together with Shaun, and we had a child just under a year later. There wasn't much time for dates. By the time there was, we'd been together for so long there wasn't much point. And uh, he didn't really like us being around, other people." Tony squeezed her hand gently before lifting it to his lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "What're you doing?" She chuckled nervously. Tony smiled at her warmly.

"Trying to make you relax. I'm not a scary guy, you've only gotta ask the team to know that." She chuckled, earning herself a smile. "I want you to feel comfortable around me Pennie."

"I do." He looked at her sceptically. "No really, I do."

"So why are you so jumpy?" She shook her head.

"You'll think it's silly."

"I won't, I promise." She sighed.

"Okay, I guess. I've spent so much of my life, raising Lauren and then Ethan and being Shaun's wife that, I'm not sure how to not be all that anymore." Tony smiled gently. "Don't. Please don't pity me." She chuckled sadly. He raised both hands in surrender.

"I'm not. Really, I'm not. I just think it's sad that you can honestly not see what I see in you." She blushed gently.

"What do you see in me?" She asked shyly. "Sorry that was a really insecure thing to ask." Tony smiled.

"I see a wonderful young woman, a brilliant mother and a first rate person." He smiled. "I see a vision of beauty." Pennie gasped inaudibly. "I see someone who I can see myself being with, properly, for a long time."

"What happened to going slow, Mr DiNozzo?" He chuckled.

"I get that your kids are the centre of your life. I understand that you have to put them first and do what's best for them. But I hope that maybe, at some point, you'll tell me that you wanna give us a go." Pennie smiled as she finished her drink and took her vibrating cell from her pocket.

"Sorry, I just have to check this. I know it's terribly rude but…"

"It could be about the kids. I get it, and it's not rude." He smiled. She answered the text and sent a lightening quick response before slotting it back into her pocket. "Well?"

"It was just Lauren saying goodnight." Tony smiled.

"Where are you all staying anyway?"

"Ethan and I are sharing the guest bedroom and Lauren is staying in the spare room."

"So where's Zi staying?" Pennie looked up sharply, too sharply in hindsight. "I saw her car, presumed that seeing as it's pretty late she'd be staying." He supplied, curious of her reaction.

"Oh. Then the couch I presume." Tony finished his beer and ordered a coke and another vodka and coke for Pennie from a passing waitress.

"If you don't mind me asking, where have you been for the last twelve years?"

"What do you mean?" Tony sighed.

"It's probably not my place, but why didn't you and Gibbs keep in contact? Why has it taken you this long to find him?" Pennie looked down at the table. "I'm being an ass, just ignore that. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." She shook her head.

"I don't, and you're not." She smiled at him gently, relieving the misplaced worry in his gaze. "I feel guilty that I didn't contact him sooner. I guess…" She paused and Tony took the moment to thank their waitress and place her glass in front of her. She held it tightly, watching the ice float rather than Tony. "I was afraid he'd be disappointed in me. He's the only father I've ever known. Peter, my biological father; he's been in and out of jail my entire life. My mom left him when I was a baby. Jethro's opinion is important to me." She sighed. "I guess I didn't want to turn up in his life as this messed up little kid whose trying to raise a baby and bring more drama into his life." Tony gently stroked his finger across the top finger that held her glass in a death grip.

"If it helps, I think he's proud of you deep down." Pennie flicked her eyes to him beneath her lashes.

"Really?" Tony nodded confidently.

"Look at you Pen. You've had all this shit to deal with and you're still here. And I mean look at LJ." He smiled in wonderment. "Could that kid be any more put together? She's a shining example of how brilliant a mother you are Pennie." She smiled shyly and finally let Tony take her hand again as she sipped her drink. "Gibbs, he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't care about you. He wouldn't insist you stay with him if he didn't care." He smiled at her as he squeezed his hand. "I truly believe he's proud of you." Pennie smiled.

"Thank you, Tony." He gulped half his drink in one mouthful while Pennie stifled a yawn.

"Do you wanna call it a night? You've had a pretty eventful day." Pennie smiled guiltily.

"Would you mind awfully?" Tony shook his head.

"Of course not. Come on."

* * *

Tony opened her door and walked her up to the porch steps.

"Thank you for calling me tonight Pennie." He gently took her hand. "I had a really good time."

"Thank you for agreeing." She chuckled before sobering up and looking him in the eye with a gentle smile.

"Say, Pen, would you consider us moving too fast if I kissed you goodnight?" She shook her head slowly. Tony smiled before slowly leaning in and softly catching her lips with his. Pennie instinctually wrapped her arms around his neck while his wrapped around her back, holding her closer but the kiss stayed relatively chaste, neither wanting to deepen it in case they couldn't control themselves to pull back. After several more moments, Pennie pulled away just far enough that she could rest her head on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck. He chuckled a low satisfied chuckle as he held her.

"I really don't want to send you away." She murmured. Tony took a shaky breath before being the adult.

"Then I'll save you the trouble. I'm not gonna take advantage of you now Pennie. We said slow, and we'll stick to that." She sighed before leaning up to look him in the eye.

"You're a good man Tony DiNozzo." He chuckled.

"Goodnight Pennie." He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and both their eyes slipped closed. "Okay." He untangled himself from her. "If you don't end up at the office tomorrow maybe I'll pop round?" She nodded.

"That sounds good." They exchanged a smile before Tony finally managed to separate himself from her completely and take himself back to the car. Pennie waved until he was out of sight before letting herself back into the house. She leant against the closed door and blew out a breath. She hoped this case, her divorce, all the drama was over very soon.


	11. Meeting Abby

Ziva naturally woke up at four, as usual, and took a moment to appreciate where she was. She had stayed the night, despite her own protests and found herself laid on Gibbs' chest with his arm protectively slung low around her waist. She breathed him in deeply before sighing contentedly. She squeezed his hand as she took it before gently pulling it from around her and rolling out of bed.

"Ziver?" His sleepy voice rang out as he made a grab for her making her chuckle. She carefully evaded his hands while leaning over and kissing him softly.

"Go back to sleep. I am just going for a run. I will be back soon." He grumbled but quickly settled again. She smiled before getting dressed in her running gear and heading down stairs for her trainers.

* * *

"Where are you going?" LJ's question from the darkness of the lounge had Ziva clutching her chest and near on jumping out of her skin.

"You made me jump." LJ chuckled as she came to lean on the wall Gibbs had held Ziva against not twelve hours earlier.

"Sorry. You'd forgotten I was here huh?" Ziva shook her head as she caught her breath and mentally scolded herself for being so spookable.

"No, I just presumed you would be in bed, given the hour." LJ shrugged.

"I had a nightmare, couldn't get back to sleep. I have just finished your book, it's very good."

"It was a gift from my brother for my twenty first birthday." She smiled bitter sweetly. "What was your nightmare about?" LJ shook her head.

"I'd, I'd rather not talk about it if you don't mind?" Ziva shook her head.

"That is okay. I was just going for my morning run." She received a grateful smile at the subject change.

"How far do you run?" Ziva thought about it as she slipped on her shoes and sat on the bottom step to tie her laces.

"An hour or so on a weekday, anywhere up to three on a weekend." LJ whistled; a low impressed sound. "It is not that impressive Tesoro."

"May I, may I come with you?" LJ asked timidly.

"If you'd like. Are you okay to run in that or would you like to borrow something else?" Ziva asked motioning at the shorts and tank top she had leant her to wear to bed.

"This will be okay. I'm just glad mom was wearing trainers." Ziva smiled.

"Me too, I'm not sure mine would fit you. I will make sure someone goes to collect some things for you today."

"Thanks Ziva." She nodded before leading them both out the door.

* * *

Just under an hour later after a silent but well paced run, Ziva snuck back into the master bedroom. She let down her ponytail, peeled her tank top off, along with her shorts, and was about to head to the ensuite when she sense Gibbs' eyes on her.

"See something you like?" She murmured playfully. He chuckled just sleepily enough to make her think he hadn't been awake very sat beside him on the bed

"You should've woken me. I'd of come with ya." He slowly traced patterns on her bare thigh.

"LJ came with me, she is very good. She had a nightmare and could not get back to sleep."

"What's the time?" Ziva looked over at the clock while Gibbs' hand moved steadily higher.

"Almost five." She replied breathily as his fingertips gently stroked the inside of her thigh. "Jethro...?"

"So we've got an hour or so." He chuckled as he sat up and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"No." She quickly pulled herself from the bed and took a step away from it, making sure she was out of reach.

"Ziver...?" She shook her head.

"I told you last night I should have gone home. I do not feel comfortable sleeping with you with your daughter and her children down the hall." Gibbs sighed. "You were the one who said we should be honest. You cannot be angry at me for doing so." She pointed out softly.

"Not angry." He sighed. "Just think maybe you should think why you're uncomfortable." Ziva ran a hand through her hair.

"Because."

"Not an answer Ziva." He smiled.

"Pennie has had a lot to deal with in the last few days, as have the children. She has just found you again and finding out that you are with someone that is only three years her senior was a shock. I would rather not rub her nose in it." He sighed and opened his arms to her. She shook her head slightly.

"I'll keep my hands to my self." He promised. She quickly stepped into his embrace and curled back into his chest. "I love how much you care about her." He mumbled into her hair. "But she's a grown woman."

"Neither of us is particularly good at being quiet though Jethro. And there is now a three year old down the hall." He chuckled, stroking firm comforting lines across her spine.

"Fair point." He kissed the base of he neck gently. "Love you." She sighed before kissing him softly.

"I love you too. Now, I must shower." Gibbs refused to let her go just yet. "Jethro."

"Like ya like this." She scoffed disbelievingly.

"What, flushed and covered in sweat?"

"Mhmm." He kissed a line up her throat before ending up at her ear. "Especially when I'm the reason." Ziva shivered.

"Okay. Getting up now." Gibbs chuckled as she stood rather flusteredly and made her way to the ensuite. "I hate you, I hope you know that." Gibbs chuckled.

"Love you too Ziver." She poked her tongue out at him before closing the door and starting the shower.

* * *

Jenny, at Gibbs' request, had arranged emergency placement in the NCIS employee day-care for Ethan but there was very little they could do to place was decided that she would just have to come in, seeing as Pennie was needed for the case. While Gibbs took Ethan and Pennie, Ziva drove LJ in and took her downstairs to meet Abby.

"Are you okay? You were awfully quiet this morning." Ziva asked as soon as they were alone in the elevator. LJ nodded without making eye contact. "Lauren?" The young girl sighed and Ziva was quick to engage the emergency brake.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Ziva smiled.

"It is neither the first nor the last time, now, what's up?" LJ turned to face her while leaning against the rail, eyes downcast. "LJ?"

"What's going to happen?" Ziva mimicked her stance on the opposite wall.

"What do you mean?"

"With my dad, with all of us afterwards?" Ziva sighed softly.

"Well, your father will be brought in for questioning, today probably, and Jethro will ensure he's charged." LJ smiled at that. "Then you, Ethan and your mother can go home."

"Will we ever see you again?" She looked up at Ziva through her lashes and Ziva was quick to crouch before her, taking both of her hands in her own.

"Your mother and Jethro have a lot to catch up on. There are some very important pieces of each other's lives that they have missed. I am sure this will not be the last they see of each seeing how you and I are important to them, I doubt it will be the last _we _see of each other." LJ nodded. "Would you like a hug little one?" LJ nodded quickly, trying to swallow around the sudden lump in her throat, and Ziva stood and tenderly took her into her arms and held her close. "It will all be okay." She gently ran her hand up and down the young girl's back. "It will all be okay."

* * *

The two of them exited the lift a few minutes later and LJ sensed Ziva's surprise.

"What is it?" Ziva chuckled, shaking her head as she led them forward into the doorway of the lab.

"Nothing for you to worry about. There is just usually a rather deafening level of music." Abby appeared in the office doorway and quickly made her way over to the pair.

"Gibbs called ahead, told me not to deafen small children. Hey." She babbled as usual. LJ laughed.

"Hello." Abby shook her hand excitedly.

"I'm Abby Sciuto, resident forensic scientist of NCIS." Ziva chuckled, more than happy to let them make their own introductions so long as they were comfortable. LJ looked up at her and once Ziva had given her a reassuring smile LJ turned back to Abby.

"Hi Abby. I'm Lauren Jessica Harrod, everyone calls me LJ." Abby smiled broadly.

"Is that after Mr Boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs?" LJ shrugged.

"I guess." Ziva smiled, resting her hand on LJ's shoulder before addressing Abby.

"I guess Gibbs has told you the story?" Abby nodded.

"Yup, Pennie's upstairs and this one is her daughter, I'm to look out for her today while you all look for her husband." Ziva smiled gently, squeezing LJ's shoulder.

"Indeed. She has a lunch with her." LJ held up the brown paper bag holding her meal and Abby smiled again.

"Cool."

"No Caf-Pow Abs okay?" Ziva warned. Abby looked slightly guilty and LJ couldn't help but giggle. "She's twelve Abby, in my experience twelve year olds and caffeine do not mix very well." Abby saluted making LJ giggle.

"Wrong hand." She whispered and Abby quickly changed hands.

"You got it Zi." Ziva smiled and nodded while Abby turned to face LJ. "We're gonna have loads of fun. I don't really know what you like to do but I'm sure we'll find you something."

"Reading. She likes reading. In Spanish." Abby and Ziva both shared an eyebrow-raised smile.

"Or Italian, or French, I know a little Hebrew, enough at least to translate Ziva." She smiled at her as Ziva chuckled. "But English is just fine."

"You're one smart cookie kid." LJ curtseyed making Abby chuckle. "We've got this Zi, don't worry." Ziva hugged LJ quickly.

"You have my number if you need me and Abby has contacts for the whole team."

"Including your mom." Abby added.

"If you need any of us do not hesitate okay?" LJ nodded against her chest as she hugged her back.

"Thank you Ziva." She pressed a kiss to LJ's crown before backing out of the lab.

"My pleasure. I will try and come see you later." The three of them all waved before Ziva disappeared into the elevator.

"So." Abby started. "How much do you know about forensics?"


	12. Lunch Dates

"Was Lauren okay? Is she happy to stay down there?" Pennie asked as soon as Ziva was in sight. She smiled gently.

"Abby and LJ will get on like a house in flames."

"Do you mean 'house on fire'?" Pennie asked confusedly, looking from Gibbs to Tony as Ziva took her seat.

"Ah yes, that one." She booted up her computer while Tony mouthed 'see, preschooler' at Pennie making her chuckle. Ziva glared playfully at them both before turning to Gibbs. "How far have we gotten?"

"Far enough to get the director to issue a warrant for his arrest." Pennie leant heavily on the cabinet beside Tony's desk.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, turning his body towards her. "What is it?" She shook her head.

"This is really happening isn't it?" She suddenly looked very scared. Tony took her hand in both of his own, waiting for her to face him before replying mutedly.

"You're safe, LJ and Ethan are safe. It's all going to be okay." She smiled and nodded.

"Gonna see the director, won't be long." Gibbs announced as he bounded up the stairs. All four of them watched him go before turning back into the bullpen.

* * *

"Did Gibbs ask you to stay last night Zi?" Tony asked casually. Ziva's fingers froze halfway through her sentence before she regained composure.

"Yes." She told him; the closer she kept it to the truth the easier it would be to convince him. "Why?"

"Nothing, no I just saw your car when I picked Pennie up and then again when I dropped her off. Just wondered why that's all." Ziva nodded, flicking a suitably grateful glance at Pennie for not telling him their news. "So…?"

"So what Tony?" She asked exasperatedly, rolling her eyes for good measure. She hated lying to him, but this was a conversation they should both have with the team.

"So, why did he ask you to stay?"

"LJ has bonded so well with Ziva that I asked Jethro to ask her to stay. Lauren is too preoccupied with trying to support me to come to me with a problem; I figured she might go to Ziva." Pennie looked at Ziva fleetingly; just long enough for them to exchange a smile that said far more to them than was visible before turning back to Tony. "Besides, you know how hyper Ethan is; sometimes I feel that Lauren gets left out, though she'd never complain. I knew Ziva could give her the attention she deserves." Ziva's smile had nothing to do with the fact Pennie was lying for her. She was suddenly very aware that she and LJ had made a very strong connection; she loved that little girl and

got the feeling that was mutual. "Thank you for that by the way." Ziva realised she was being spoken to.

"For what?"

"LJ told me that you took her running this morning, and that you read with her last night." Pennie smiled while both men looked from Ziva to each other, neither used to 'Maternal Ziva'. They both knew she was there, but she was so rarely seen it was still a shock whenever she came to visit. "I'm not able to do that since I have Ethan. So thank you. You make her feel very special." Colour burned Ziva's cheek bones as she smiled.

"She is a very special young lady." They exchanged a smile before Ziva ducked her head and covered her face with her curls. Pennie sat on the edge of Tony's desk, facing him while he worked and Tim ignored the slightly left out feeling he was experiencing and got back to his own work.

* * *

Jenny was in meetings all morning that not even Gibbs dared interrupt which meant that by lunchtime they had made no headway in arresting Shaun.

"Alright to go to lunch boss? Sarah's in town, and asked me to meet her." Tim was the first to ask. Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah, go 'head, all of ya." Pennie, Tony and Ziva turned to each other.

"Ziva, why don't you go see LJ? I'm sure she'd be more impressed to have lunch with you than her mom." Ziva looked slightly sheepish.

"Are you sure?" Pennie nodded without hesitation.

"Tony and I are going to take Ethan for lunch anyway. LJ is more than welcome to join us, but I have a feeling she'd prefer lunch with you." Ziva smiled.

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit then." Pennie nodded.

"Bye daddy." Gibbs looked up from the sheet he was reading.

"See ya soon." Tony held up a hand, a gesture that was reciprocated, before they went to the elevator. Ziva grabbed her badge and gun out of habit, as well as her lunch before standing in front of Gibbs' desk. "Can I help you, Ziva?" They both smiled.

"I just wanted to make sure you are going to stop for lunch in a minute." Gibbs rolled his eyes and Ziva dropped her voice to a whisper. "It is for purely selfish reasons that I ask, Jethro. You need to keep your strength up." That caught his attention. He put down the sheet and focused his full attention on her.

"Oh?" He matched her volume but couldn't keep the cheeky undertone out of his tone. She raised an eyebrow, caught her lower lip in between her teeth and nodded slightly. Gibbs barely contained the growl as his eyes dropped to where her teeth worried her rosy lip, to the curve of her neck and the swell of her bust before making eye contact again. "Over your 'can't do it with Pen in the house'

thing then huh?" She rested her hands on his desk and leaned over slightly. She knew she was playing a dangerous game but she couldn't help it. She smirked internally when his eyes predictably left hers to appreciate the cleavage her rich purple shirt gave her.

"I will see you later, boss." She smiled as his eyes snapped to hers at the husky undertone to her voice before she walked away swinging her hips slightly more than was strictly necessary knowing his eyes were glued to her ass.

* * *

Ziva placed a redundant knock on the open office door alerting Abby and LJ, who were both deeply enthralled in what looked to be the most well matched game of chess she'd ever seen, to her presence.

"Two seconds Zi." Abby replied distractedly as her hand hovered over her knight. She swiftly took out LJ's castle only to be taken herself by her queen.

"Check." LJ smiled, waving enthusiastically at Ziva over Abby's shoulder. Ziva chuckled and unpacked her lunch before sitting at the side of the board to watch the last few moves.

"Umm." Abby deliberated before swiftly moving her king straight into LJ's ambush. With a rather unnecessary flourish of her wrist, LJ captured the piece.

"And checkmate." LJ called, beaming. "Hey Ziva." Ziva chuckled before turning to Abby.

"How many times has she beaten you?" Abby smiled.

"Ten to two. She's wicked at chess." LJ smiled bashfully. "I only beat her the first time because one of the probies from Roberts' team came in for evidence and distracted her while she was making a move."

"The second was all her though and we are a very good match, she's been on my metaphorical tail the entire game." LJ and Abby high fived, much to Ziva's amusement before Abby bounded up to her desk to get both of their lunches.

"Lab floor picnic sound good to you LJ?" She nodded, accepting her lunch with a smile.

"Sounds great thank you. Are you joining us Ziva?" She nodded.

"Yup. Your mom and Tony are taking Ethan for lunch and said that, while you are welcome to go with them, apparently you would find it more fun with us." LJ smiled.

"I like Tony. I think he'll be good for my mom." Abby looked from Ziva to LJ, lost.

"Tony and Pennie are dating?"

"They have been on a date. This is their second." Ziva supplied. "But he seems to be falling for her."

"Mom's falling for him too. They were kissing on the porch." Abby grimaced overdramatically, making her laugh before Ziva turned to her, eyebrows raised.

"You had been in bed for an hour when your mother got home, you should have been asleep." Abby held onto her smile. Ziva's 'mommy mode' was new to her. LJ looked down at her hands and Ziva recognised the look, it was the same one in the elevator earlier. She felt vulnerable, unsure of how much she should ask or say. "Tateleh, what is it?" LJ shrugged.

"I had been asleep. I, I had a nightmare alright?" Ziva tucked a loose strand of fire red hair behind her ear tenderly.

"Was that the nightmare that had you awake when I came down this morning?" LJ shrugged again.

"The same nightmare but it was the second time I'd had it that night." Ziva looked over at Abby quickly. She held up her hands with a shrug. Ziva fitted her hand around LJ's cheek and gently lifted her face so she could look her in the eye.

"Tateleh, you know if you have a nightmare you can come and wake me? I will not be angry."

"But what if I wake Gibbs?" She asked quietly. Ziva smiled.

"He would not be angry either." Ziva gently stroked her cheek bone with her thumb. "We could talk about them, if you would like, it helps, sometimes." Abby knew Ziva was talking from personal experience. She'd had her fair share of three am phone calls from a crying Ziva post-Somalia. They, of course, would talk about anything but, but she didn't need to tell Lauren that.

"I, I don't want to." LJ practically whispered, refusing to meet her eye again. Ziva nodded.

"Then we will not. But please remember that we can, day or night, okay?" LJ nodded. "Okay." Ziva pulled her into a hug, which was quickly reciprocated, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before releasing her. "Now, shall we eat?" LJ nodded, more than happy to get off the subject. Abby gave Ziva a subtle thumbs up and Ziva smiled in response. They ate in silence for only a few minutes before Abby broke the tension, as per usual. Chatter flowed easily after that for just under an hour when Ziva returned to the bullpen and Abby and LJ went back to entertaining themselves.


	13. Lunch Dates Part Two

Author's Note-Apparently, I'm taking requests now. Haha. This chapter was a request from smush68 and it is entirely Pennie, Tony and Ethan. Chapter nine (Truce) was at ZC's request. So, if you have a chapter/scenario/scene you'd like to see, please feel free to drop me a PM and I'll see what I can do. (If it doesn't fit, I'll probably make it into a one shot for you) Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Once they had collected Ethan from the day-care, it was just a short drive to the little café they had planned to have lunch in. Tony carefully sat Ethan on one of his knees, facing Pennie and held onto him firmly while he looked over the menu with him.

"What d'ya reckon Kiddo, what d'ya fancy?" Tony asked cheerfully while Pennie smiled at them over the top of her menu. "They've got nuggets, kids like nuggets right?" Ethan giggled and neither adult could help but join in. "What does mama think you should have?" Tony turned to Pennie and was immediately humbled by the look she was giving him. "Hi." He murmured.

"Hi." She smiled back. "That's fine for him. Make sure he has juice though." Tony nodded. "Are you alright?" She asked, chuckling at the star struck look in his eye. Tony shook his head.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine." She chuckled again. "Umm, what are you going to have?" She shrugged, looking over the menu, gently catching her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hmmm." Tony couldn't help but watch the more than likely subconscious movement of her lip. "I think I'm gonna have a burger and fries, you?" Tony snapped his eyes to hers as soon as she started talking. A shy smile crossed her face. "What are you going to have?"

"Umm, yeah, same as you I think. Coke good?" She nodded.

"I'm going to take Ethan to wash his hands before we eat, are you alright to order for us?" Tony nodded, putting Ethan on the ground where Pennie quickly took his hand.

"Very special agent on the case." He winked at her before ruffling Ethan's hair. The small boy turned to face him. He pointed a small hand at him.

"I can still sit on your lap when I get back right?" Tony's heart melted as he leaned down to press a kiss to his crown.

"Course you can Bud." Ethan smiled before letting his mother take him to the bathroom to wash up. Tony sat back in his seat and watched them leave. "Course you can." He murmured to himself.

* * *

Once he'd ordered for the three of them, he pondered the situation with a smile. Here he was, Tony DiNozzo, having lunch with a woman who wasn't 'blonde from a bottle', whose IQ was higher than her bra size and age, and her three year old son, and he couldn't be happier. He had meant what he'd told her, he honestly could see the whole 'white picket fence' thing with her. He had already fallen in love with the little boy who insisted on sitting on his lap or being cuddled by him at every given opportunity, and, while LJ had spent much more time with his partner, he loved her just as much. Then there was Pennie. Did he love her? Yes, he could honestly say that he did. Was he _in _love with her? No, but there was something in him that was already budding. He would love her; he had no doubts about that.

Not even five minutes since they left, Pennie and Ethan returned. Pennie dropped to a crouch to pick up Ethan and placed him on Tony's lap where he promptly cuddled into his chest.

"Hey Buddy." Tony kissed his head gently. "Food's on its way." He turned to Pennie and slowly took her hand in his. "Won't be long." They both knew he was talking to Ethan, but the eye contact he held with Pennie held a much deeper meaning. The moment was broken a few minutes later when the waitress arrived with their meals. Both the adults, and Ethan once Pennie prompted him, thanked her before turning to their lunches. Pennie expertly cut up Ethan's meal and carefully slotted the fork in his hand while Tony watched. "So, was it fun at Gibbs' last night little man?" Ethan nodded as he slowly stabbed a piece of his food and brought it to his mouth.

"No fightin'." He mumbled once he'd swallowed. Tony watched as Pennie's eyes dropped to the table. "Ziva cooks good." Tony squeezed Pennie's hand reassuringly.

"She sure does." Tony chuckled. He smiled in Pennie's direction and realised she was still watching the table. He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She lifted her head with a small smile. "Hey, it's alright." He murmured. "It's not your fault, don't blame your self. Okay?" She nodded. "Good." They smiled and ate their meal in comfortable silence.

* * *

Tony carefully slotted a drifting Ethan into his car seat in the back of his car and strapped him in before closing the door as softly as he could and capturing Pennie in a hug. He pulled her close and held her securely as she wrapped her arms around his back and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Tony didn't pull back even as she started talking, voice shaking.

"I _know_ it is not entirely my fault. I _know_ Shaun is not a good man and he wasn't the husband I _need_ or the father my children _deserve_. But I can't help but blame myself, even just a little. I should have stopped him, left him. I am their _mother_ Tony; I should have _protected_ them from the fights. My three year old should not judge how much he likes a place by how little fighting he can hear. My beautiful twelve year old daughter should not wake up crying." Tony held her a little tighter. He'd have to talk to Ziva, see if she'd gotten anywhere on helping LJ to open up. "I should have done more to look after them." Tony pressed a lingering kiss to her shoulder.

"Pennie, listen to me. Okay? You did _everything_ for those kids. You aren't responsible for their father being a bastard. You aren't alright? You love them and, yeah okay, perhaps you could have left sooner, but you wanted them to have both parents and I commend you for trying. You're doing the right thing Pennie. You're being their mother and the team and _I _will help them and _you_ through this. I promise. I love you all too much not to." Pennie pulled back just far enough to kiss him gently.

"Thank you, Tony." She smiled as he carefully wiped away the single tear racing down her cheek. "I don't know that I could do this without you." Tony kissed her gently, capturing her lips in a whisper of an embrace again and again before pulling back and looking her in the eye.

"You could. I _know_ you could. You're amazing Pennie and a heck of a lot stronger than you think." He smiled at her. "But I'm more than happy to help you. I'll carry you when you need it. I'll be your shoulder to cry on when you can't be strong anymore. Zi'll support LJ, she'll get her to open up and she'll work with her to heal those wounds and I? Well, I'll support you and Ethan. I'll work with _you_ to heal _your_ wounds. Because I care about you, and you'll get through this. You're gonna be just fine. Trust me."


	14. Finding Out More

Gibbs made his way down to the bullpen just as his team arrived back from lunch.

"DiNozzo, take McGee, take Pennie, go collect some things for them. Harrod's just left." Tony nodded, knowing better than to question it, and walked back to the elevator with Pennie and McGee in tow. Gibbs crouched beside Ziva's desk the moment the doors closed. "Ziver."

"Yes Gibbs?" She asked softly, watching her computer rather than him. He smiled.

"Pennie's taking the kids to a movie this evening." Ziva smiled gently. "My treat."

"Am I to presume she does not know that yet?" She saw him smirk in her peripherals and couldn't help the answering smile. "Tony will be going with them?" He nodded. "You will have the house to yourself for a few hours then hmm?" He nodded again and very briefly let himself squeeze her thigh, taking a certain level of satisfaction when she closed her eyes and inhaled her next breath slightly more sharply. He stood and leant against his own desk, waiting another moment for her to open her eyes before speaking.

"How was lunch?" Ziva sighed, leaning her elbow on her desk and cupping her cheek in her hand as she turned to face him.

"Lauren has been having nightmares. A lot. I keep trying to get her to talk but…"

"Look how stubborn you were." He finished with a smirk that held just a little too much quiet concern to be truly affective. She smiled quickly.

"Yes, well. I told her she could come and wake me if she had a nightmare; she's far too protective of Pennie to go to her with them." Gibbs nodded.

"Noticed." Ziva nodded.

"I may have been less than careful." She told him softly, more than a hint of guilt in her tone. "Around Abby. Concerning my being at yours last night." She elaborated. He sighed.

"She say anything?" Ziva shook her head.

"I think she was preoccupied by Lauren at the time but…" Gibbs nodded.

"It's okay." Ziva's eyes widened just a touch. "It's _okay_."

"But…?" Gibbs shook his head with a warm smile.

"Trust me." She nodded.

"I do." They exchanged smiles before Gibbs rounded his desk and got on with paperwork, leaving Ziva to plan what to wear that evening.

* * *

Pennie moved around her bedroom, backpack in hand, packing the essentials for at least a week under Tony's specifications. McGee stood watch at the front of the house while Tony stood in the door way of Pennie's room, watching her.

"Lauren will need reading material, not to mention clothes and shoes and pyjamas." She sat on the corner of the bed and put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry; I should not be this tearful." Tony crossed the room and took both of her hands in his.

"You listen to me alright? You're more than allowed to be tearful Pen. So stop apologising for it okay?" He asked gently. She nodded. "Good, now, would you like me to pack for the kids?" Pennie smiled.

"That would actually be really useful." Tony kissed her knuckles before making his way to the next room where Ethan's name was emblazoned on a plaque hanging from the middle of the door. Tony smiled before gently pushing open the door.

His eyes were first and foremost drawn to the blow up mattress beside the toddler bed against the far wall, a half read, well loved, copy of Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' sat beside the pillow. He shook his head with a sigh, wondering just how many nights of the week LJ would sleep in her baby brother's room just to keep him safe and as unaware as possible of the fights. He quickly located the toddler's clothes and packed several outfits into the duffle bag Pennie had given him. He then threw in the several cuddly toys that stood guard on the bed before grabbing LJ's book.

He went into her room next. The simple-ness of it struck him first. The only things in the entire room were a bed, a wardrobe, one fit to burst bookcase and a clearly very frequently played acoustic guitar, with one missing string. Tony shook his head before carefully folding dresses that Abby would probably fight even their twelve year old owner for, and several other items into the duffle bag. The guitar was definitely coming with him; music was a very good healer. He then stood in front of the extensive book collection. He whistled lowly and started grabbing a few from every shelf, each alphabetically sorted by author and then by title. Once he was satisfied he had packed enough to keep them both clothed and entertained for a while, he went back to the master bedroom in search of Pennie.

* * *

Ziva came back into the bullpen to find Tony putting a new string onto a guitar that was not only cherry red but covered in cherry motifs. She chuckled, coming to lean against the edge of his desk.

"I never took you for a cherry kind of guy Tony." He chuckled, securing the string before holding the guitar properly and starting to tune it.

"It's LJ's. Music's a good healer, thought she might want it." Ziva nodded, watching him tune the instrument for a moment.

"Where is Pennie?" Tony looked up only momentarily before getting back to the task at hand.

"She's down in the day-care reacquainting Ethan with his cuddly toys. Apparently I did well to bring them." Ziva smiled. "How's LJ?"

"She is okay. Abby is keeping her entertained." Tony, now satisfied the guitar was tuned properly, set it down leaning against the filling cabinet and leant back in his chair facing his partner.

"Pennie says she wakes up crying. Nightmares?" Ziva nodded slowly. "Getting too close?"

"No. I can handle it." She smiled softly as Tony squeezed her hand. "She has yet to open up and talk about them though."

"Yeah, well it took you a while too Zi." She chuckled, shaking her head. "What?"

"Gibbs said the same thing." She sighed. "We are very alike, LJ and I." Tony nodded.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"I hope she knows she can tell me. I hope she does not think it is weak to be able to tell me what her nightmares are about." Tony smiled softly.

"Give her time. How long did I have to bug you for before you told me?" She smiled.

"A few months. I just hope…" She paused with a shake of her head that had Tony grabbing her hand again.

"Ziva?"

"I just hope her dreams are not as bad as mine, Tony. I hope she is only dreaming of yelling. I hope no one has given her worse things to dream of." Tony sighed.

"Me too, me too."

* * *

After a rather boring day of paperwork, and re-tracing Shaun after they had lost him for about an hour, Ziva, Tony and Pennie left the squad room to collect the children while McGee said goodnight to everyone, making a speedy exit, furiously blushing at whatever was being said at the other end of his phone call, and Gibbs packed up for the night.

"Abby? Lauren?" Ziva called over the reasonably quiet music. LJ appeared behind the glass office door and waved before motioning for her to join them. Ziva was quick to do so. "What is going on?" She asked, her jaw dropping when she saw the canvass painting on the desk in the middle of the room.

"Do you like it? We got rather bored of chess so we decided to do something different. Abby said we should 'help nurture my naturally creative spirit so she broke out the paints." LJ smiled enthusiastically letting Abby help her out of her spare lab coat, obviously a protective cover for her clothes, not that she spilt a drop on it. Abby chuckled at the completely awestruck look on her colleagues' face. "Do you not like it?" Ziva broke out of her slight trance and opened her arms so the twelve year old could come and be hugged. Ziva squeezed her gently.

"It is beautiful LJ. I had no idea you were such an amazing artist." Abby beamed at the pair. "May I ask why you decided to paint all of us when you could have drawn anything?" LJ shrugged.

"I just kind of let the image flow; there wasn't any rhyme or reason to it. Before I knew it I had drawn you all." Abby carefully lifted the painting up so Ziva could see it in more detail. Each member of the team, including Jimmy, Ducky and Jenny were all drawn and then painted with such an eye for detail it could have been a photo. Because Abby had had the brilliant idea to lay it under a heat lamp it was already dry and ready to go.

"You've got a gift kid. You're super talented." Abby gushed, kissing the top of her head as Ziva let her go. "Maybe you should think about doing that long term." LJ smiled.

"Perhaps. Are we going?" Ziva nodded her head.

"Yup, Tony and your mom are just getting Ethan and then they're going to take you to see a movie. Gibbs' treat." Ziva winked at her making her giggle. "Would you like to take your painting?" LJ turned to face it before looking at Abby.

"I think I'd like you to have it Abby." The scientist's hand went to her chest subconsciously at the gesture. "As a thank you for letting me stay with you." She dropped her voice slightly. "Plus, whenever they are out in the field, you can look at that and have them all with you until they come home safe and sound." Abby pulled her into a tight hug as tears welled in her eyes. It was a moment before Abby could speak.

"Thank you. I will treasure it. I promise." Ziva smiled as Abby released her hold on her. Ziva took LJ's hand and Abby followed them through to the main lab where she took down the picture next to her fridge and replaced it with LJ's portrait. "Pride of place, see?" LJ giggled self-consciously.

"I'm glad you like it." All three smiled before Abby started shutting down her machines and Ziva and LJ made their way to the parking lot to meet up with the others.


	15. Making The Most Of It MA

Author's Note-This chapter is rated MA. I told you it would be clearly marked so here it is. If this isn't your thing that's fine. I won't hold it against you. The paragraph before the first line break and after the last are T rated if you'd like to read some of it but you're more than welcome to just skip it entirely. For those who do want to read it and have thus been waiting for it, tada! I hope it's everything you expected. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva let herself into Gibbs' little over an hour after they'd said goodnight in the parking lot. She smiled to herself as she hung her coat on the rack beside the door and ran her hand through her hair as she made her way steadily to the basement. While probably over-compensating on the stairs for her heels, she slowly made her way down to him, resting her hand gently on the hand rail to steady her as she did.

"Did they get off alright?" Ziva asked the back of Gibbs' head as she hit the bottom step. She smiled to herself at just how domestic she had sounded, ignoring the flutter in her heart as she thought of domesticity with him. She shook the thought away as soon as it had come.

"DiNozzo's taking them to dinner afterwards. We've got the whole evening." He put down the sander and ran his hand across the wood before turning around. She gave him a shy smile as he slowly took her in. He pulled his gaze from the four inch red stilettos, up her gorgeous tanned, toned legs to the hemline of her dress which sat just south of the middle of her thigh, to the gentle feminine curve of her hip to her tiny waist up to the swell of her bust, accentuated by the mild sweetheart neckline of her devil red dress and finally up the length of the perfect waves of her hair leading his eyes to her soft pink lips curved still in that shy smile that made his heart stutter and his pants slightly tighter before he met her eye with a smile of his own that was anything but shy. He slowly made his way over to her, taking that innate masculine satisfaction as every step he took sped up her breathing slightly. Gibbs gently tucked a curl behind her ear and cupped her cheek softly, stroking her cheek bone with his thumb. "Beautiful." He whispered and watched in wonderment as her eyes slipped closed at the sound. "But ya never need to dress up for me Ziver." She nodded slowly, nuzzling into his palm.

"I wanted to. I like dressing up for you." He chuckled low in his throat and she shivered.

"Never thought you'd admit that Zi." She smiled softly.

"Jethro." She started softly, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. "Are we going to talk all evening or are you going to kiss me?" Gibbs chuckled again before wrapping his spare hand around the base of her back and pulling her close. He leant in and captured her lips in a kiss so loving and gentle yet so full of passion that Ziva's knees genuinely started to falter. He pulled her closer into his chest, inadvertently keeping her upright while her arms wrapped around his neck and slid into his hair, one resting on the top of his head, pulling him closer to her as the other gently tugged at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He pulled away with a growl before bending to sweep her off her feet and into his arms, bridal style. She giggled before taking advantage of his distraction as he carried her up the basement stairs to gently suck on the base of his neck just above the neckline of his t-shirt. She moaned as heat pooled at her centre when she heard and _felt _him groan at her ministrations.

* * *

Gibbs laid them both on his bed and immediately went back to kissing her. He slid his hand down from her cheek to the curve of her waist as he kissed her gently. He had never been rough with her, but this level of gentleness was new. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arm back around her back while he slowly ran his tongue across her lower lip, asking for the permission she quickly granted, moaning quietly when his tongue danced with hers. He slowly slid his hand down her back, stopping only to squeeze her ass momentarily, making her subconsciously thrust her hips closer to his, before coming to rest on her bare skin just below the end of her dress. She pulled out of the kiss to gasp before burying her face into the crook of his neck. He stroked his fingers up and down the middle of her thigh as she tried to breathe steadily.

"You're so beautiful Ziva." He murmured in her ear before running the tip of his tongue along the edge revelling in the soft murmur of delight she granted him. Gibbs moved his hand slowly up her leg until it settled just beneath her dress. She pressed a butterfly kiss to his neck as he started to move his hand steadily higher. He was mere millimetres from where she wanted him when he removed his hand and placed it back on the base of her back.

"Jethro?" She questioned breathily. He chuckled, rolling them both so she was under him. Steadying himself with one hand he gently traced her features with his other hand. She hummed gently. "Jethro as wonderful as this feels and as nice as it is to feel so appreciated, we have not made love in over a week and I have missed you." He chuckled and leant down to kiss her softly. "Please." She breathed as he pulled back. He groaned before helping her to sit up and get out of her dress. It flew somewhere across the room, along with her heels, but neither were particularly bothered as to where. Gibbs took off the T-Shirt he'd changed into when he'd got home before pausing to take in the stunning sight she was granting him. Ziva lay down in front of him; one knee bent one hand under her head, in nothing but red lace. His jeans were suddenly ridiculously tight. She giggled as he struggled to get them off quick enough.

* * *

Once finally free of his jeans and boxers, Gibbs straddled Ziva's knees and ran his hands up her rib cage to her bra making her moan breathily as her eyes slipped closed. He slowly slipped his hands around her back as she arched into him and unclasped her bra, sliding it off her arms as he brought his hands back round. She missed the awed smile he aimed her way as he stared at her.

"Beautiful." He growled before fastening his lips around one of her already pebbled nipples making her cry out as his hand gently manipulated her other breast. He swirled his tongue around the bud before gently nipping at it. Ziva's hands flew into his hair as she held him close, arching shamelessly into his touch.

"Jethro!" She cried out as she squeezed her thighs together in an attempt to exert some of the pressure he was causing to build fast. He left her nipple only to trail kisses over to the other before fastening his lips once more. She gasped as he flicked his tongue back and forth over the bud as he held it between his teeth. "Jethro." She murmured. "Please." He pulled back with a self satisfied smile.

"Please what Ziva?" He took a vast amount of pleasure in the sight before him. Ziva was a gasping writhing mess beneath him, her thighs tightly pressed together. He knew she was fighting the urge to take matters into her own hands but she knew better. The first time she'd tried had been the first time he'd handcuffed her. "What are you begging me for?" She shook her head, unable to for sentences. He chuckled before gently blowing cool air onto her wet skin; goose bumps erupted across her chest as she arched violently. "Ziva, talk to me."

"Touch me." She panted quietly. "Please. Touch me." He leant up to speak directly in her ear.

"Happy to." He barely touched her skin as his hands made their way down her torso before taking hold of her panties at one side tightly. "Aren't your favourite, right?" She look at him confusedly until her ripped the sides apart and quickly threw the ruined garment across the room. She chuckled low in her throat making him growl with anticipation.

"You owe me underwear." He smirked before quickly finding her clit and pressing down just slightly. Ziva's head hit the pillow as she gasped at the contact. "Fuck." He chuckled, knowing he'd be the only one to ever hear her use such language. "Jethro." Gibbs gently took hold of her chin with his other hand and moved her so she was looking him directly in the eye.

"I wanna watch you while I do this." He growled a deep possessive sound that made her even wetter. He felt it and smirked. "You like that too huh?" He didn't give her a chance to answer. His fingers started to move in frantic circles around her clit and she started vibrating as pleasure flooded her her blood stream. She was fighting a loosing battle to keep her eyes open. "Ziva." He growled against her cheek before pressing a kiss to it. "You want me to let you come?" She whimpered, her fists clenching and unclenching as she tried to fight it. "Ziva?"

"Yes!" She cried, arching off the bed and into his hand. "Yes, yes, yes." He chuckled before quickly moving off her and spreading her legs.

"Okay." He growled as he slammed into her. She screamed in orgasmic release as she clung to him tightly. Gibbs moved hard and fast in and out of her, making sure to keep his thrusts deep enough to hit her cervix every time. She whimpered and buried her face into his neck as her second orgasm threatened to rip through her.

"J-Jethro." She panted against him. "I-I'm, going to, come, a-again." He groaned.

"I can feel it." He murmured against her ear making her cry out again. "You're so wet, so damn tight, all for me Ziver." She shuddered, pre-orgasm waves flowing through her. "Close?" She whimpered and nodded. "Good." He slammed into her one last time and the both came, shouting and screaming their release for anyone who cared to listen. They both laid there as aftershocks jolted their bodies, trying desperately to catch their breath. Gibbs was the first to move, pulling out of her, eliciting another soft cry from her parted lips, before lying beside her and pulling her close. He gently smoothed his hand through her hair as she shook beside him.

* * *

"You okay?" He asked several minutes later when he could finally breathe properly again. She was still shaking but seemed more than happy to be curled into his side. "Didn't mean to be that rough with ya, just got carried away." She shook her head against his chest.

"You did not hurt me." She addressed his main concern first and felt him relax beside her. "It was, amazing Jethro." She chuckled a satisfied laugh before burying her nose in his chest. "I love you." She murmured against his skin and he pulled her closer.

"Love you too." He pressed a kiss to her crown before reaching down and covering them with the comforter. They still had a couple of hours of alone time left, that was enough for them to get some much needed sleep before having to worry about making themselves presentable again.


	16. Exposed

Author's Note-So, we all liked the last chapter yes? Haha! That's the best response I could have wished for! Thank you! As for my guest review, I am definitely up for writing that one shot. I don't know when it'll be up but I was certainly write it. :D Anyway, this chapter is a wee bit emotional but I don't think it deserves a Tissue Warning. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs woke up half an hour before he was expecting everyone back and took a moment to enjoy the view. Ziva had, sometime during their nap, moved to her side of the bed and rolled over to face away from him. He didn't take it as a rebuff; she was all for cuddling after sex and going to sleep all cuddled up beside him but she needed her space to sleep peacefully or she'd be woken by every little movement he made. He rolled onto his side and took in the vast expanses of caramel skin that had been exposed by her moving in her sleep. He noted just how adorable she looked as she held onto the covers in both fists, both of which were tucked under her chin as she slept. He smiled before dropping his eyes further. Her entire back was exposed, the blanket merely clinging to her hip just high enough to cover her ass from his gaze, and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful. Then again, he thought that every time he saw her.

Before he could think better of it, his hand had moved so it was hovering over her hip, just above the sheet. He slowly, with a feather light touch, traced the path down over the curve of her waist up the half of her ribcage, not covered by her arm, and back. He heard her breathing catch but she didn't move. A soft smile crossed his face as he slid his hand down under the cover to rest on her stomach and pulled her to him, pressing a butterfly kiss to her neck. She murmured in her sleep but didn't open her eyes. Gibbs found himself humbled by the trust she'd instilled in him for her to be able to let him do this. The first time he'd tried he found himself looking down the barrel of her gun. He inhaled her deeply before pressing kiss to her bare shoulder.

"Gonna have a shower." He told her in a deep soft voice. She nodded her acknowledgement, not even opening her eyes.

"Want company?" She asked sleepily after too long a pause to convince him she was actually awake enough to follow through, he chuckled.

"Nah, I'll wake ya when I'm done." She nodded again before puckering her lips at him. He chuckled once more before kissing her gently. She hummed and went back to sleep while he left the bed to go get washed and dressed.

* * *

Pennie opened the front door with the key Gibbs had given her and stood back so LJ and Tony, carrying a sleeping Ethan, could go in before her. She quickly closed and relocked the door before turning back to the others.

"LJ Sweetheart why don't you go get changed into your pyjamas and then you can read for a while before going to sleep?" LJ nodded.

"Night Tony." He smiled and ruffled her hair with his spare hand.

"Nun-night kiddo."

"Do you want me to take Ethan up?" Tony shook his head.

"Nah it's okay I will in a minute." She nodded and kissed Pennie's cheek.

"Night mom." Pennie smiled.

"Goodnight Angel." She watched her climb the stairs before turning back to Tony. "Well that went well huh?" Tony smiled, leaning the side of his head onto Ethan's.

"I think so. Gibbs is probably in the basemen t why don't you go tell him you're back and I'll put the little man to bed?" She nodded and kissed both of their cheeks before leaving the vestibule to go into the basement.

* * *

Tony gently laid Ethan down in the middle of the double bed and tucked the covers around him. He sat beside him and gently stroked a strand of hair from his forehead with a soft smile.

"Nun-night little man, sweet dreams." He murmured, placing a small kiss to his forehead. "God bless." He slowly stood up so as not to disturb him before standing in the doorway and watching him breathe slowly. "I love you Ethan." He smiled before closing the door softly and turning back down the corridor. He was at the top of the stairs when he heard a noise from behind the door he knew to be Gibbs'. He took a deep breath to suppress the urge to jump into full special agent mode, knowing it was likely to be LJ and she wouldn't appreciate his backup gun shoved in her face, before slowly making his way over to the door and standing with his hand on the handle. After another deep breath, he slowly opened the door. And stopped dead. Laid there, in Gibbs' messed up bed, right in the middle, stretching, clearly barely awake, wrapped in his sheets, clearly naked beneath them, was Ziva. Tony shook his head a rubbed his eyes just in case he was more tired than he thought. It was then he heard her gasp and slowly opened his eyes to meet hers. The panic in her eyes was undeniable and suddenly his heart hurt. She was meant to trust him more than this.

"Tony?" Her voice wavered and he turned on his heel and left. "Tony!" Ziva swore under her breath before struggling to wrap herself half decently in the bed sheet and chased after him. He was already down the stairs before she caught up. "I am in a bed sheet DiNozzo do not make me run after you." He stopped and spun on his heel, eyes flashing.

"What's wrong Zi, couldn't you trust me enough to tell me you're shagging the boss?" Ziva's jaw went slack. Meanwhile, Gibbs, after hearing Ziva's voice and the desperation in it had ran up from the basement, quickly followed by Pennie. They both stood beside their partners helpless as the scene before them unfolded. Ziva's eyes never left Tony's but Gibbs knew she knew he was there.

"I am in love with Jethro, Tony. I am not merely sleeping with him." Lying now would be pointless; she was wrapped in his bed sheets for heaven's sake. Tony shook his head.

"But you couldn't trust me enough to tell me? That makes it worse Zi. I thought we were friends, I thought you cared about me too!" Tears filled her eyes but they both knew she wouldn't let them fall until she was alone, or at most, with Gibbs.

"We are." Her voice faltered and Tony felt like a bastard. "I did not hide this from you maliciously Tony." He shook his head. "You must believe me, please. This was not about hiding it from you. You know if I could have told you I would have."

"So why didn't you?" She opened her mouth but quickly shut it, shaking her head again. "If you can't tell me Zi..."

"I was afraid." She whispered tearfully and Tony felt worse. He knew just how much that admission had cost her, it was written all over her face. "I did not want to complicate things for the team, for Jethro, if this was just a fling. But I love him Tony, and, and he loves me." Her voice broke on the last word but she quickly reeled it back in. "If you care for me, at all, you will not hate me for doing something that makes me so happy." Tony sighed with a shake of his head.

"I don't hate you Zi. I hate the fact you couldn't tell me that you were happy. I hate that you felt you had to hide it from me. You know I wouldn't have made things difficult." He laughed humourlessly. "Jeeze Ziva all you had to do is ask, I wouldn't have said a word. I know I joke around, but, I love you Ziva. I wouldn't _ever _do anything to jeopardise your happiness." Ziva barely contained a sob at the hurt in his voice. "You could've told me Ziva." She nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry." She couldn't control the break in her voice this time. "You cannot tell anyone Tony." He ran a hand through his hair. "Please! We have to do this carefully, and it has to be Jethro and me telling them." He sighed.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone Ziva. _You _should, but I'm not gonna, jeeze how much of a bastard do you take me for?" Ziva bowed her head and Tony turned to Gibbs. "You'll look after her?" Gibbs nodded. "You ever hurt her I _will _come after you." Gibbs chuckled softly.

"I know." Tony nodded just the once and kissed Pennie quickly before going over to Ziva and encasing him in his arms.

"You can tell me anything Ziva, anytime." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before leaving quickly. Pennie looked between Ziva and Gibbs before quickly making her way upstairs without a word. Gibbs held Ziva close and the dam broke. She sobbed on his shoulder and he held her tighter in his arms, whispering sweet soothings in her ear.


	17. The Aftermath

Pennie and LJ once again came into NCIS, while Ethan went down to the day-care, the next morning. Ziva had slept on the sofa all night after Tony had left and it wasn't hard to see the tension in the household as she stood in the elevator taking LJ down to Abby before going to work. LJ sighed and pulled the emergency switch half way between the bullpen and the lab and it took a full thirty seconds for Ziva to realise they'd stopped moving. She turned to face LJ who had returned back to her position staring at the door. They stood in silence for a full minute before Ziva started moving to unfreeze the elevator.  
"I heard you crying last night." LJ announced quietly and Ziva stopped in her tracks. LJ flicked her eyes to her before staring at the door again. "You don't have to tell me. I wasn't asleep when Tony left and you two weren't exactly quiet." Ziva shook her head.  
"I am…"  
"You needn't apologise." A small smile graced her lips. "I'm not looking for an apology. But, if you'd let me, I'd like to ask a question?" Ziva nodded slowly, flabbergasted by the whole situation. LJ cleared her throat. "Tony is important to my mom. No, they haven't known each other very long but I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. But Gibbs is important to her too; he was her father figure for a really long time and she loves him. I may be a child Ziva, but I'm not stupid. I know if push came to shove my mom would pick Tony over Gibbs, and Gibbs would pick you over my mother." She saw Ziva open her mouth to protest in her peripheral. "Ziva, there's no use denying it, you know deep down it's true." Ziva sighed.  
"What is your question Tateleh?" LJ turned to face her for the first time that morning.  
"You slept on the couch all night. You cried yourself to sleep, silently. I went to sleep in the aftermath of an argument for the first time since mom left my father." She closed her eyes. "Are you, are you and Gibbs going to start arguing like them? Or you and Tony? Am I going to have to choose between you, and my mom and Tony? I'm not sure I can make that decision Ziva." Ziva opened her arms to her but only received a tight shake of her head. Ziva sighed.  
"Tateleh." She started softly, her voice gentle and concerned. "I am sorry we frightened you. Tony found out about me and Jethro in a way that hurt him, made him question my trust in him, a reaction he had every right to have." She sighed. "We will be fine Sweetheart. I will never ask you to choose between our…" she paused, trying to find the right word to define their relationship, "friendship and having a relationship with your mother and Tony. I would never ask that of you Lauren. I promise you." LJ nodded tightly and Ziva could practically see the lump that had formed in the young girl's throat. "I am sorry we made you fall asleep in that environment, it was not fair on you, and I apologise."  
"Why…?" She cleared her throat. "Why did you sleep on the couch?" Ziva sighed.  
"If I am honest, it was because I was afraid." LJ's eyes snapped to hers. "I knew if Jethro knew I was crying all night he would not be happy with Tony for making me upset and he would hate himself for putting me in a position in which we were exposed in such a manner." She chuckled gently. "You do what you can to protect those you love Lauren, and I have never loved anyone as much as I love him. I know he knew I was crying but I also knew that I would only cry more if he tried to comfort me and that would upset him."  
"Why?" LJ asked in the quietest voice she could use and still be heard, Ziva smiled sadly.  
"Because I learnt, many years ago, to cry silently and alone. I am still not used to letting anyone comfort me." LJ nodded.  
"Yeah, I know that lesson." Ziva snapped out of her own story and suddenly was staring at the small hurting little girl before her.  
"LJ, who taught you no one would come if you cried?" She shook her head. "Lauren?"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It matters to me. Tell me. Please?" A single tear tumbled down her face.  
"He'd only scream louder." She murmured, shaking her head. "Only threaten scarier things." Ziva crouched before her and took her hand in her own as she gently stroked the tear from her cheek.  
"What did he threaten? What did he say he would do Neshomeleh?" Lauren shook her head.  
"Please." She whispered. "Please don't make me say it." Ziva sprung to her feet and held her close just as her shoulders started to shake.

* * *

Ziva held LJ close, ignoring the slightly damp patch on her shirt where she was crying into it, for several minutes before her cell rang. While only holding LJ closer with her left hand, her right took out her phone and answered it, only stopping briefly to see it was Gibbs calling.

"Yes, Gibbs?"  
"Get lost, David?" She heard the chuckle in Gibbs' voice and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face.  
"We are in the elevator Jethro." She felt LJ pull away. "Two seconds." She covered the receiver with her hand and turned to LJ. "Are you alright? I will make sure he does not mind if you need longer?" LJ shook her head.  
"I'm okay Ziva. Tell him you will be right up." Ziva shot her a questioning look. "I'm fine." Ziva nodded.  
"Okay." She put the phone back up to her ear just in time to catch Gibbs' impatient growl. "You must be more patient. I was…handling something."  
"In the elevator?" She heard the incredulity in his voice and sighed.  
"Yes." She replied pointedly and heard him sit up straighter.  
"She alright?" Ziva smiled sadly as she looked over at LJ, who was currently trying to make it look like she hadn't been crying.  
"She will be." She murmured. "I will be up in just a second."  
"If she needs you…"  
"I have already offered. I will be right up."  
"Good." With that he hung up leaving Ziva to shake her head with an amused smile before putting away her cell and passing LJ a tissue from her handbag.  
"It does not look that bad." She soothed. "I will not lie, Abby probably will notice, but I doubt anyone else will." LJ smiled and Ziva felt her heart lighten slightly.  
"Thank you Ziva." Ziva flicked the switch and sent the elevator back on its way with only a small smile. Once she had dropped her off with Abby, answering her questioning gaze at the tear-stained child with only a look that clearly said 'later' Ziva left them to it and finally made her way up to the bullpen.


	18. Overdue Conversations

Author's Note-Okay. Well this chapter is rather a lot longer than the rest mostly because it's down to the amazing ZC that we even _have_ this chapter. I had a wee bit of a paddy, okay no, I had a full on hissy fit to her because I couldn't get it to work and she worked her magic. So I owe her for this big time. But yeah, don't get used to the bigger chapters, it's purely ZC's influence that made it so long haha! Thank you Chickadee! Okay, read, review, enjoy NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva dropped her things behind her desk and sat down with a heavy heart that clearly showed through her body language. She gave Gibbs a faint, distracted smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, doing nothing to answer the questions in his gaze. After a moment of deliberation she had clearly made her decision. She got back out of her seat and walked over to where Pennie was talking quietly to Tony.

"May I have a word?" Pennie looked from Tony to Ziva before nodding.

"Sure." Ziva motioned at her to follow before walking over to the stairwell.

* * *

"If this is about last night…?" Ziva shook her head dismissively.

"Tony and I shall discuss that later." Pennie nodded. "I would like to talk to you about Lauren actually." Ziva noticed the tension suddenly thrumming through the other woman as her back straightened and her jaw tightened, ready to defend her child. She wondered briefly if she would ever have the chance to have the same reaction. Ziva shook her head quickly. "It is not bad; I just wanted to get your opinion on something she said to me this morning." If anything, the tension only got worse.

"What…?" Pennie cleared her throat. "What did she say?" Ziva had the good sense to lean on the wall opposite her so as to give Pennie some breathing space. If this was news to her it could easily send her emotions any of fifty ways and if it wasn't, she was likely to feel very crowded very quickly. Ziva took a deep breath.

"She told me that she had learnt to cry silently and alone because 'he' would only scream louder or threaten scarier things if she didn't," Ziva shared. Pennie looked as though she was seriously fighting a panic attack. It was clearly news to her and Ziva proceeded with caution. "I have been taught to never assume anything, but the 'he' she is talking about would be her father yes?"

"It doesn't exactly sound like Ethan does it?" Pennie offered as her lips moved in a sad excuse for a smile and shadows moved into her eyes. The corner of Ziva's mouth quirked slightly. Pennie used humour as a defence, something Tony had down to an art form. "Sorry, yeah, it would have to be Shaun." Pennie slumped onto the top step and put her head in her hands.

"Pennie, I hate to be the one asking, but did he ever…?" She trailed off, not knowing how to say the words. They got lost somewhere between her brain and her mouth. Pennie sighed, signalling she got the message just as loud and clear as if Ziva had managed to say it.

"He started hitting her just before I left. I'd come home and find bruises on her. But ..." She paused and shook her head, swallowing the bile creeping up her throat at even the thought and fighting to keep her breathing regular. "He was never…_inappropriate_with her." Ziva couldn't have held the sigh of relief if she had wanted to. "She's intensely intelligent, scarily so at times. I really believe if he had ever done something like that to her, she would have told me," Pennie said. Ziva nodded. "Is she, is she okay?" Pennie's voice was taut with worry. Ziva sat beside her with a sigh.

"She was very tearful. Abby will keep her occupied and will support her if the tears make a reappearance at any point during in the day. She also has contact numbers for you and the team if she needs us," Ziva reassured her. Pennie gave her a watery smile. "Do you have any idea what he was threatening her with? I have rarely seen a child look as scared as she did when I asked her to tell me." Ziva's expression conveyed her concern. Pennie shook her head.

"She had to grow up pretty quick. She basically took over mothering Ethan when I had to mediate Shaun and she became like my emotional crutch. I know if she felt it was important she would have come to me; she knows she can anytime with any_thing_. But …" Pennie heaved a heavy sigh and shook her head with a sad smile. "She wouldn't come to me if he threatened her. Something tells me she would have bottled that up in order to protect us." Ziva gave a single nod. "You must think I'm a terrible mother." Pennie's voice broke as a wave of emotion crashed over her. She felt like a terrible mother, one who had failed her child; every parent's worst nightmare. Ziva shook her head emphatically.

"No, not at all. I am not a parent, but I grew up in a household that was often … troubled. My mother did a fantastic job raising my sister and me in my opinion, but she had to attempt to control my father at the same time when the pressures of…who he was, got the best of him. At times, his temper had to take priority over us." She paused for a moment, almost as surprised as the younger women at how much she had revealed in those statements. She cleared her throat and continued. "I think you are doing a remarkable job, particularly within the limitations you have been given." Ziva turned her head and snagged Pennie's gaze. "Look at your children Pennie; you are clearly not doing too badly." They exchanged soft small smiles before Pennie went back to looking at her hands. "Would you like to handle this between Lauren and yourself?" Ziva asked quietly. Pennie looked back at Ziva.

"What do you mean?" Ziva shrugged.

"If you would like to handle Lauren's relationship with her father, her nightmares, the threats she has received, if you would like to handle that by yourself and would like me to back off please do tell me. You need only ask once." Ziva swallowed at the unexpected pang that hit her heart at the mere thought. But Pennie was LJ's mother, she reminded herself, so this needed to be said. "I am happy to help all of you in any way I can but, I do not wish to take over." Pennie lapsed back into silence for several moments.

"My daughter trusts you with her life," she started slowly. "She has told you more in the three days you've known her than she's told me in the last four years." She paused; gathering strength for what she knew needed to come next. "Mothers always want to fix everything, but I want Lauren to get what she needs." She paused and took a deep breath. "If you can support her through this like I think you can, if you can help her to open up and tell you what she's dreaming of that scares her so, if you can make her smile again without the ghosts behind her eyes, I am more than happy to let you take the reins." Blinking back tears, she added in a voice thick with emotion, "But will you keep me in the loop? Tell me how I can help?" Ziva reached out a hand and gently squeezed Pennie's.

"Of course," she promised.

* * *

Pennie returned to Tony's side and was instantly in his arms. He held her close as she buried her face into his chest and tried to steady her breathing by inhaling his warm comfort. Tony looked over at Gibbs to silently ask for his advice, if he knew anything about her sudden need to be held, but quickly noticed - but only because he knew - that his boss's eyes were fixed on his partner as she wandered silently into the bullpen and sat at her desk. Tony shot her a questioning look as he felt Pennie shake in his arms and her chest move rapidly. Ziva shook her head.

"I did not harm her Tony," she murmured softly, noticing with silent concern that Pennie was succumbing to her earlier panic. Pennie shook her head against his shoulder.

"She, she, didn't, Ton, Tony. I, I just…" He held her tighter.

"Shhh, it's okay," he murmured gently in her ear. "It's okay, I've got you." Tim quickly grabbed a nearby chair and pushed it over so it was next to Tony's desk and then disappeared for only a moment, returning with a cup of cold water. Tony smiled in thanks over Pennie's shoulder and Tim nodded, sitting back at his desk. "Pen, I want you to sit down and sip some water for me, okay? Try and breathe as normally as possible." She nodded and he helped her sit in the chair. "There we go." He pressed the cup into her hand and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before turning to Gibbs, who nodded and made his way over to crouch by her side. Tony made eye contact with Ziva and jerked his head towards the elevator. Ziva followed him with a sigh.

* * *

"At some point I probably should do some work," Ziva pointed out as soon as Tony hit the lately rather abused emergency switch. He huffed out a short chuckle before turning serious and concerned.

"Can you promise me you didn't say or do anything to get her in that state?" He asked. Ziva sighed.

"Really Tony? I have told you, _she_has told you…" He looked at her softly and the fight left her. "I only told her what Lauren told me this morning, which was that her father would threaten her with things if she cried."

"What type of things?" He asked slowly and Ziva quickly shook her head, knowing where his mind had gone.

"Not that. She would not tell me, but Tony, I have not seen a child that frightened since I left Mossad." Tony grimaced, not wanting to know when she had seen children frightened when she was in Israel. He didn't need to know.

"Well, then I can understand Pennie's reaction." He observed almost to himself. Ziva nodded, leaning against the wall.

"As can I." She paused and tilted her head while she looked at him. "I would like to apologise to you." Tony sighed before mimicking her position.

"What for?" Ziva stared at her shoes and her voice suddenly became so small he had to strain to hear it.

"For letting you down." Tony looked at her suddenly, his brow wrinkled in confusion.

"What?" It was more of a pained gasp of disbelief than a question. "You didn't let me…" She shook her head cutting him off.

"Last night…" Ziva paused, then took a deep breath and pressed on. "Last night should never have happened, Tony. I should have told you long before last night what was going on between Jethro and me, you should not have had to find out like that." She shook her head again, running her hand through her straightened hair as she did. "After everything we have been through together, I should have told you. I hid a very important part of my life from you and I am…" Her breath shuddered and Tony's heart broke just a little. "I am sorry Tony." He wrapped his arms around her and she held him back tightly.

"Y'know, as much as I enjoy getting hugged by two beautiful women in the space of ten minutes, it's better if you aren't both crying." She chuckled weakly into his chest. "You have nothing to apologise for, Zi. You apologised last night and I forgave you."

"It was not a matter of not trusting you."

"I know." He replied, stroking soft comforting lines up and down her back.

"It was because I did not want to put you, or the team, in an awkward position if we broke up." Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. "And then, after a while, it was just hard to break the habit."

"I know." He repeated quietly.

"You are one of my very best friends, Tony. We are like blood, closer than even. I care about you. I ... love you, too." Tony chuckled and pulled away to look her in the eye.

"Ziva, stop explaining. I get it. Last night I was in shock and yeah, I won't deny it, it hurt that I had to find out by finding you in his bed. But I understand and I still love you. I meant what I said last night, though. You can tell me anything, any_time_. If you don't want it to leave us, it won't. Besides, I'm not really so much of a bastard that I'd go blabbing your business to any Tom, Dick or Probie. Your private life is just that and will stay that way even if you share it with me." She sighed and he gently stroked his hand up and down her arm. "And you didn't let me down." Her shoulders lifted and dropped with uncertainty.

"It felt like I did," she murmured. "You looked so disappointed in me." Tony shook his head with feeling as he squeezed her hand.

"You want the truth?" She nodded slowly. "I was disappointed in myself."

"Why?"

"Because I thought I had given you the impression that you couldn't tell me, Zi. Plus, I said some pretty stupid things. At the risk of breaking Rule Six, I'm sorry about that." She looked at him questioningly. "I'll apologise to Gibbs, too, especially for the whole 'shagging the boss' comment." She chuckled softly as she shook her head.

"We both understood." Tony chuckled. "What?"She asked, tilting her head to the side in that way she did when she was trying to figure something out.

"Nothing. It's just ... guess I'll have to get used to that, huh? You answering for you both, calling him 'Jethro'." He chuckled again. "It's kinda weird." A smile tugged at her lips.

"It was for me, too, Tony. It took me a while to get used to not calling him 'Gibbs' while we were alone," she confided. He grinned before his smile became warmer, more serious.

"Are you happy, Zi?" The smile that crossed her face was answer enough. Unadulterated love was shining from her far-away gaze as a small intimate smile turned her lips.

"I have never been happier," she answered softly, still awed by the depth of emotion she felt for Jethro. Tony's lips curved as he turned and flicked the switch.

"Then that's all that matters to me. Come on, lovebird, we'd better get you back to work."


	19. Unwanted Contact

Tony returned to a now calming Pennie's side while Ziva went back to her seat. Gibbs squeezed Pennie's shoulder as he stood before gently resting his hand on the top of Ziva's desk. He caught her eye only momentarily before looking away but the smile she gave him in those seconds met her eyes and that was enough for him. He sat behind his desk, an unnoticed smile playing in his eyes because she seemed to have finally chased away the ghosts, and the tears that she'd never admit to, from the previous night. He shook his head before starting to type.

* * *

Pennie had spent lunch with Ethan while the team caught up with paperwork, opting to just eat at their desks. She made her way over to Tony's before pulling her ringing cell from her handbag. They exchanged smiles before she saw that the call was from LJ and answered accordingly.

"Hey Sweetie, everything alright?" She froze and gasped and Tony immediately abandoned his work while three more heads popped up around them. He silently asked what was wrong and his blood ran cold when she mouthed a single word: 'Shaun'.

"Gibbs?" Tony hissed. "Shaun." The bullpen was suddenly alive with activity. Ziva joined McGee at his desk as started the recording and Gibbs laid a gentle reassuring hand on Pennie's shoulder as he came up behind her. "Pennie, put it on speaker for us." She nodded before pressing a button and taking Tony's offered hand.

"What do you want Shaun?"

"What do I _want?" _The-man-they-had-heard-all-about-and-grown-to-hate's voice filled the squad room as he shouted down the phone. Tony could feel the trembling of Pennie's hand in his own and held her tighter. "I want to know where you are! I want to know why you took my kids away from me! I wanna know when you're planning coming home and stop being such a bitch!" Ziva's back straightened at the last word before she silently made her way over to the crowd at her partner's desk. She caught Pennie's eye and held it, keeping her just grounded enough to maintain the conversation.

"I'm, I'm not coming back Shaun. I left you, I'm not coming back." Ziva smiled reassuringly. "How did you get Lauren's phone?"

"That's between me and her. That's none of your business." Ziva's heart sank. She prayed LJ hadn't been stupid enough to meet with her dad. Gibbs gently squeezed Pennie's shoulder.

"She is safer without you in her life Shaun. Ethan too." Despite the prominent shake in her voice and hands she sounded so certain. Every one of the people around her was suddenly even more proud of her.

"You bitch! They're my kids! You're my wife!" Pennie chuckled.

"Not for much longer." With that she hung up the phone. A deep shuddering breath later she turned to Ziva. "Do you think LJ gave her father her phone?" Ziva looked over Pennie's shoulder to catch Gibbs' eye, he shrugged.

"I do not know. We will go talk to her." Gibbs nodded and squeezed Pennie's shoulder once more.

"DiNozzo, keep an eye on Pennie. McGee, go get Ethan." They exchanged a worried look. "Just in case." Both men nodded and McGee went over to the elevator, Gibbs and Ziva went to the other and Tony quickly pulled a violently shaking Pennie into his lap and held her close.

* * *

Ziva leant against the back of the elevator and the moment it started moving Gibbs hit the emergency brake.

"Jethro we have a job to do. We do not have time for this." She told him quietly. He sighed and gently cupped her cheek with his hand.

"You'll tell me what's wrong though? And about last night?" She closed her eyes briefly before slipping her hand up to cover his.

"Later. I promise but now…" The end of her sentence was lost in a kiss that made her heart trip in its beat. He didn't deepen it, didn't pull her close, didn't even move. He simply captured her lips with his and kissed her gently with all the love he felt for her. He pulled back barely a moment later and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you. You know that right?" Ziva nodded with a small smile, not quite sure of what was going on in his head.

"I have never doubted it. I love you too." He smiled softly and kissed her quickly before disengaging the brake and continuing their journey down to the lab.

* * *

Ziva and Gibbs marched into the lab and made their way straight past Abby working at the evidence table and into the inner office where LJ was reading. Abby watched them, confused, before quickly falling into step behind them.

"LJ, did you give your dad your phone?" Gibbs asked, getting straight to the point as always. The alarm on LJ's face as she slowly closed her book was an answer within itself. "Lauren?"

"No." She replied as shocked as Abby at the question. She looked from one adult to the other before matching Gibbs' glare. "Why?"

"He just called. He has your cell phone Lauren; we need to know how he got a hold of it." Ziva explained, trying her best to keep it calm for her.

"And what? You think _I _gave it to him?" She shook her head in disbelief, looking solely at Ziva. "Why would I do that? Why would I _want _to?" Ziva looked from LJ to Gibbs but he was having a staring match with Abby.

"_What happened?" _Abby signed quickly, knowing if they had wanted LJ to know they would have told her.

"_Harrod called on her cell." _Abby gasped sending LJ a quick look.

"_And you think she gave it to him?" _Gibbs shot LJ and Ziva a similar look as Abby did before answering.

"_I don't know." _LJ sighed, making all three adults in the room turn to her.

"It's rude to talk with your hands you know." She said as she signed it simultaneously. Abby smiled widely at the newfound information for her face fell when she realised that she now knew what they had said. Ziva sat on the edge on Abby's desk carefully before taking both of LJ's hands in her own.

"Lauren, Tateleh, we have to work out how your father got your phone. So far our only link is you." LJ shook her head quickly.

"Even if I _did _give my phone to him, which I _wouldn't_ and thus _didn't_, how, in your timeline, did I find the time to sneak away from you, Gibbs _and_ my mom at home or from Abby here to meet him and hand over my phone?" Ziva winced internally when she felt Abby's attention snap to her at the mention she had stayed the night at Gibbs' again.

"We are not saying you did…" LJ shook her head and took her hands from Ziva to cross them across her chest.

"My father is a _monster_." She announced with feeling. "Why on Earth would I provide him with a means to contact my mother? Why would I do that to her? Do you not trust me at all?" Ziva stood.

"I trust you Lauren and you know I do. There are things I would not have shared if I did not." LJ shrank, suddenly knowing exactly what things she wouldn't have shared. "But I am an investigator first and we need to ascertain how your father got hold of your cell phone." LJ looked at the floor for a moment. Ziva was just about to ask again when she took a deep breath.

"I, I have a back up sim card. It's at home, in my room. I know how flimsy they are and I know what I'm like." She smiled quickly, receiving an answering one only from Abby. "I didn't want to loose all my contact numbers and things if I lost my phone or if I damaged the sim so I own a back up. He must have found it. He doesn't need my phone, that would give him my number." She shook her head at herself before turning to Gibbs. "Is she alright? My mom, is she okay?" Gibbs sighed.

"Tony's with her." LJ nodded. "We need to get back to work." Ziva nodded.

"I just need a moment." He nodded and made his way to the elevator while Ziva quickly pulled LJ into her chest. "We had to ask."

"I know." LJ replied in a tiny voice. "This is all my fault huh?"

"No." Both adults replied in tandem. Ziva gently pulled back from LJ and looked her in the eye.

"No one blames you Sweetheart. It is easily fixable. Do not worry." She kissed her forehead gently. Before turning a smile to Abby. Her face fell when she saw her familiar clue-solving determination in her eyes.

"We, however, need to talk. Later?" Abby asked, eyebrows raised and Ziva felt her stomach drop.

"Later." She agreed, squeezing LJ's hand one last time before following Gibbs back up to the squad room.


	20. Quiet Comfort

Ziva walked out of the elevator to find Tim cradling Ethan just outside the bullpen.

"Hey." She greeted them quietly, softly stroking Ethan's hair. "Why is he not with his mother?" Tim sighed.

"She's shaking so badly she can't even stand. Tony's just holding her. I was worried it might scare him." Ziva shook her head.

"I hate that man." Tim chuckled sadly.

"Yeah, we all do." Ethan reached out to Ziva. Tim smiled. "I think he wants you."

"You do not mind?" He shook his head.

"Course not." She smiled. "Go to Ziva little man." Ziva gathered him up and held him close. After gently kissing the top of his head she rested her cheek on his crown and turned to face Tim.

"How is Lilly?" Tim's eyes snapped to hers and she couldn't help but smile. "Your friends are investigators and you have been rushing off and blushing at phone calls for four months. We were going to get curious." Tim rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

"She's…fantastic." Ziva's smile broadened as she gently took Ethan's hand in her own.

"I am glad you are happy." She was just about to leave when he called her name. She turned back to him curiously.

"Your mystery guy? I don't know who he is Zi and I'm not gonna ask that you tell me, but whoever he is, I'm glad he makes you so happy." Ziva felt heat ghost up her face.

"How did you…?" She trailed off on Tim's smile.

"There's a certain, I don't know, you just look happy." She smiled.

"I am, Tim. Thank you." He nodded before joining her as they entered the bullpen.

* * *

Ziva made her way to sit on the edge of her desk facing away from Pennie the moment Ethan saw her and his lip began to tremble.

"Hey." She brought his attention back to her with a gentle tone. "Mama's alright Ethan." He looked at her sceptically.

"She crying." He pointed out quietly. Ziva felt her heart melt.

"What does mama do when you cry?" He shrugged. "You do not remember?"

"Hugs." He announced with a proud smile that he'd remembered the fact. Ziva smiled.

"That is right. And look." She turned slightly so he could see Tony holding his mother close but not so much that he could see the distress on her face. "What is Tony doing?"

"Hugs." He announced quickly and then smiled up at Ziva. "Tony hug mama. Make her feel good." Ziva bumped his nose with her own.

"That's right Buba. Tony is hugging mama to make her feel better." Ethan's smile grew.

"When we going home?" Ziva turned to Gibbs who quickly tucked his jacket around his holstered gun before addressing him.

"Right now." Ethan giggled at Gibbs' smile before burying his face in Ziva's neck. She carefully secured her arms around him as she stood and his legs secured themselves around her waist.

"Now, Gibbs?" He nodded.

"Not taking chances. Going home for the weekend." He nodded to the walkway where Jenny stood. Ziva smiled up at her before grabbing her backpack and things. "McGee, let Abs know the good news." Tim nodded, taking out his cell to text her before discretely leaving the hearing range of his colleagues in order to tell Lilly he now had the afternoon off. "DiNozzo." Gibbs caught Tony's eye as he held Pennie. He sighed, knowing there was no way he would be able to support Ziva, both children and a freaked out Pennie by himself. "You got a go bag in your trunk?"

"Course boss." Tony looked at him confusedly. Gibbs nodded to Pennie.

"You're spending the night with her. She needs ya." Tony nodded before bending to whisper in her ear. Abby entered the bullpen accompanied by a still sheepish LJ.

"McGee said you're all going home?" She asked Gibbs while LJ went to stand on the other side of Ziva's desk.

"Yeah. Not taking chances. Door'll be locked too." Abby nodded.

"Okay. I'll call ahead if I'm planning on popping in then?"

"That'd be good." He kissed her cheek before grabbing his gear and following everyone into the lift, leaving Abby to wave them off before heading back downstairs.

* * *

Gibbs opened the door and let everybody into the house. Tony grabbed his go bag and guitar, something he had stopped by his apartment to get on the way, and settled them both beside the couch before sitting beside Pennie and holding her close once more. She was still shaking and none of the adults thought it a good idea to leave her alone. Ziva settled Ethan on the chair beside them before going into the kitchen to make coffee for everyone.

* * *

"Hey." Gibbs greeted, running the palm of his hand across the base of her back as he came to stand beside where she was leaning against the sink.

"Hi." She replied softly, looking out of the window rather than at him.

"We need to talk Ziver." He murmured watching her out of the corner of his eye. Her head sagged as her shoulders slumped and he quickly moved so her back was pressed against his chest. He leaned his hands either side of her own and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Talk to me." He ordered kindly against her ear. She sighed.

"I was just so worried that LJ had met her dad." Her voice shook almost imperceptibly but he caught it and gently wrapped his arms around her waist. "I know she is not me Jethro." She shook her head at herself. "But there was a moment there when I flashed back to when I was her age and I would agree to do _anything _in order for Eli to say he was proud of me. I did not want her to be that girl, the one who would do anything to please _daddy." _The tremble in her voice became slightly more noticeable at the last word and he was quick to turn her in place and hold her into his chest. He'd forgotten how tiny she felt once she was at home and in his arms. Gibbs pressed a kiss to her crown as he stroked firm comforting lines down her spine.

"She wasn't." He reminded her softly.

"I know." She murmured.

"And nor are you anymore." He felt her sigh before relaxing slightly in his arms.

"I know." She repeated in a voice barely more than a whisper. She settled in his arms, more than happy to let him hold her, and drank in his silent strength. "I want to apologise for last night." He nearly missed it she spoke so quietly. He knew what she was talking about and had questions of his own but he merely held her close, not saying a word. "I, I should have let you, I shouldn't have…" She paused, shook her head and cleared her throat. "I am sorry." Gibbs sighed and pulled back slightly, dismaying when she only held onto his shirt tighter in her fists. He quickly resumed holding her.

"Woke up in the middle of the night. Reached for you and you weren't there." He felt her breathing hitch and resumed stroking patterns into her back. "Came looking for ya." He paused, lowering his voice even further. "Heard you crying." Ziva took a shuddering breath. "Understand you're used to looking after yourself but after a decade of knowing ya and almost seven months of being with ya I'da thought you could cry in front of me." She shook her head against him.

"I can." She answered in a voice so thick with tears it made the back of his own eyes burn.

"I don't understand." She inhaled shakily.

"I, I was afraid." Gibbs tensed at that, fear suddenly coursing through him.

"Of me?" He choked. "You think I'd be mad because you're crying? Ziva I would never…"

"I could never be afraid of you Jethro." She assured him quietly.

"Then what were you afraid of?" She was silent for so long he thought he wouldn't get his answer.

"I was afraid you would hate Tony for making me upset, for finding out about us, for being hurt and saying things he did not mean. I was afraid you would hate yourself for putting us in a position where we were exposed. I was afraid…" She paused, trying to keep her voice from breaking. "I was afraid your comfort would make me cry harder and that would hurt you." She buried her face into his chest as she wrestled with her composure. He held her tightly and rested his cheek on the top of her head. His heart ached for her. "I learnt a long time ago no one came if I cried." He held her even closer to his body while he kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of mangoes from her shampoo that always seemed to give him strength.

"Don't hate DiNozzo." He paused, a rueful smile playing on his lips. "Trying not to hate myself." She huffed a tearful laugh. "I wanna be there for you. I don't care if you cry the entire night and soak through my shirt, I would hold ya, all night." He felt the tremble in her hands as her knuckles went white at the effort she was putting into holding onto him. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Not going anywhere Ziva. I understand you need space, I'm not gonna smother you, but you don't have to cry silently anymore Angel. I will _always_ be there when you cry." She sobbed just the once and he gathered her up tighter and held her against his chest while he whispered sweet soothings in her ear.


	21. Let There Be Music

Author's Note-Okay we see our first slight time jump in this chapter. It's only a few hours but I'd get used to it. It has taken me twenty one chapters to cover three days. If I carry on like this I'll be writing this forever. It won't happen too often and I will do it in such a way that hopefully will still keep you satisfied. I hope you enjoy this chapter, after the last one my muse decided we all needed it, and don't find it too OOC. I hope I managed to keep it true to them but if not, meh, it's fun. Now, there will be my usual prize (a chapter of your choice (if it doesn't fit I will try to make it into a one shot for you)) for the first person to tell me which song is in this chapter, I'm currently obsessed with it. Okay, wow, this is long. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

LJ slowly forced herself to walk away from the kitchen wall the moment she heard Ziva sob. She hadn't meant to listen in, she'd merely gone to get a drink but had instead stumbled on possibly the most intimate conversation she could have. She walked into the lounge and sat with a thud in the armchair just in front of Tony.

"Hey, Kiddo. Everything alright?" She startled at his voice before nodding and clearing her throat.

"Yeah, where's my mom?" She asked quickly, noticing that, for the first time since Shaun had called, Pennie had left Tony's side.

"Having a lie down. It's been an emotional day for her." LJ nodded distractedly. "You sure you're okay?"

"Mhmm." She nodded. Tony studied her for a moment but shook his head, quickly noticing that she was just as stubborn as the people she was living with and would come to him if she needed to. He instead grabbed the guitar from beside him and swung it over his knees.

"I noticed your guitar, how long you been playing?" LJ seemed to pull herself out of her own little world and dragged her attention to him.

"Sorry?" Tony chuckled.

"I asked how long you've been playing the guitar." She smiled.

"Oh, a couple of years. I started listening to some acoustic versions of my favourites and really liked it, so I brought a second hand 'How To' book and guitar the next week and started learning. I mostly play by ear to be fair." Tony smiled.

"Me too. Reading music isn't my strong point but I love to play." Tony strummed a couple of bars quickly before tilting his chin towards the stairs. "I could teach you a couple if you like? Give us something to do while the grown ups are sleeping and in deep conversations." LJ giggled. "What?"

"You don't include yourself in the 'grown up' category?" Tony chuckled.

"Why should I? No one else does. I figured if you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em." LJ giggled again. "So, you up for that?" She hesitated before nodding quickly. "Go on then, go grab your guitar. Why don't you also grab your brother while you're up there, I'm sure he'll be awake after his nap by now." LJ nodded before scurrying off. Tony sighed leaning back into the couch. If he could distract that little girl from her dad calling, her mother being severely shaken up and Ziva crying in the kitchen for goodness knows what, he would sure give it a go.

* * *

"Okay, so I think you got it. You wanna play?" Tony asked not even thirty minutes later. LJ nodded enthusiastically, setting her fingers into the first chord. "Okay, one, two, three, four." LJ started strumming while Tony watched. She flashed him a smile in between watching where her fingers were going. Ziva appeared at the doorway with Ethan on her hip fresh from his bath with an amused smile on her face. Tony winked at her before joining in with LJ just as Ziva started singing along, taking Ethan's hand in her own in a mock slow dance and gently swaying them around the living room much to his delight.

"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, and the regular crowd shuffles in, there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin." Tony smiled broadly at the surprise on Lauren's face once the angelic singing voice of his partner filled the room. Tony made a split decision and set down his guitar, grabbing LJ's before Ziva had finished the first half of the verse and stood her on his toes as he waltzed her round the room while the two adults sang.

"He says, son, can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man's clothes." The children giggled while Ziva and Tony sang and waltzed around the room in a figure of eight between them.

* * *

Gibbs leant against the door frame watching with a true fully fledged smile painted across his face when Pennie came to stand beside him. He smiled at her while both of their partners danced and sang with her children.

"He's good with them." Gibbs chuckled as Tony dipped a giggling LJ never once stopping singing. Pennie nodded beside him, threading their arms and leaning against his shoulder.

"They both are. Y'know, Ziva would make a great mom." Gibbs' smile faltered slightly but no one noticed.

"Yeah, yeah she would." Pennie smiled and clapped as the foursome brought their impromptu dance performance to an end with Tony giving LJ one last twirl. Ziva felt colour warm her cheeks as she noticed Pennie and Gibbs.

"I am sorry, I was not aware we were performing for an audience." LJ giggled at her clear embarrassment.

"I had no idea you were all so musical." Pennie teased before exchanging wide smiles with her eldest.

"Music is an excellent healer, and a better distraction." Tony winked at her before turning to Ziva and bowing low making Ethan giggle on her hip. "M'lady it has been a pleasure." Ziva tipped her head to him. He then took LJ's hand and kissed her knuckles. "Thank you for letting me have this dance." LJ giggled before curtsying. Tony laughed out loud before turning to his boss. "Just a bit of fun Gibbs." Gibbs shook his head.

"Did I say a word DiNozzo? It's good to see you smiling." He met Ziva's eye and his smile softened into something akin to the intimate ones he had reassured her with in the kitchen. "All of you." Ziva winked at him with a similar smile before turning to Ethan and LJ.

"So, shall we go decide what we want to eat tonight? You can help cook if you like?" LJ nodded enthusiastically. "How about you Ethan?" The toddler tilted his head to the side.

"I p'efer eating to cooking." All the adults laughed before Tony quickly grabbed him and put him on his shoulders.

"My kind man. Lead the way Zi, me and Ethan will supervise." Ziva chuckled before walking into the kitchen hand in hand with LJ.

"Fine. We _cook_, you _clean_." Tony chuckled and leaned in to kiss Pennie gently, for both of their comfort.

"She wishes." He murmured making her smile.

"I heard that." Ziva's call carried from the kitchen. Gibbs laughed before gently head slapping Tony.

"You shoulda seen that one coming." Tony's murmurs followed him into the kitchen as he went to help out.

* * *

Ziva gently laid Ethan down beside LJ as she sat up in bed, before sitting on the edge beside them and gently stroking the strands of hair from his face.

"And you are sure that it is okay with you that he sleeps here?" LJ nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Where else would he sleep? Mom needs Tony tonight and they don't want to have to deal with a squirmy toddler all night and I doubt you and Gibbs are up for sharing your bed with a three year old." Ziva smirked.

"No, I do not think Jethro would be overly impressed with that action plan."

"Right then. Besides, the amount of times he's ended up in my bed; I almost miss him when he's not there." Ziva's smile turned somewhat sad before she leant over LJ and pressed a gentle kiss to Ethan's forehead. She then lifted the covers from around LJ's waist.

"Come on, lay down and get comfortable." LJ smiled before doing as she was told. Ziva suddenly found herself blinking back the tears in her eyes at the rush of warmth spreading through her chest as she tucked the blankets around her. "Now, we are just down the hall if you need us. Do not worry about waking us okay?" LJ nodded, covering another yawn with the back of her hand. "Okay. Lailah Tov Sweetheart. Sweet dreams." She softly kissed her forehead before standing. She watched for a moment, just taking in the sight before her, of the two children she already loved, cuddled up in bed, safe and warm, before silently making her way over to the door. She lingered in the door way for a moment. "I love you." She murmured before carefully pulling the door ajar and making her way to her own bed.

* * *

Tony slipped into bed behind Pennie and wrapped his arm around her stomach, pulling her close while he leant on his other bent arm. He heard her breathing waver and instantly pulled her over so she was leaning into his chest. Her arm slotted around his waist while he held her close.

"It's okay Honey. You're safe now. He can't hurt you here. No one can." He gently kissed her crown as he stroked her back comfortingly.

"I was so scared Tony." She murmured into him as he felt the first tear wet his t-shirt. Tony sighed.

"I know. I know Baby okay? But we're gonna get him. We're gonna keep you safe. _I'm _gonna keep you safe. I promise." She sobbed into his body and he gently rocked them both. "Shhh, it's okay. I've got you. You're safe now. I've got you."


	22. Conversation and Contemplation

Author's Note-As usual, I would like to thank ZC for her help on this chapter. It is so appreciated you don't even know! Okay, read, review, enjoy! NYLF xx

* * *

Tony watched as he swirled the amber liquid around his glass before gulping it, barely registering the burning sensation as it hit the back of his throat. Gibbs just watched his agent carefully, not moving. It was almost four and he'd been just about to return to his bed when Tony had come down the stairs. Knowing better than to ask, Gibbs simply poured them both a shot and waited for the younger man to get whatever he needed to off his chest.

"I don't wanna screw this up boss." He murmured softly, setting the empty glass down on the work bench. "Even if I don't consider what you'll do to me if I hurt her, she's been through enough; I don't wanna screw her life up any further." Gibbs shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I really like her Gibbs. Really _really _like her. And those kids, aw jeeze boss I'm already head over heels for those little tykes." He smiled. "I just, I don't want to rush us. I want her to feel safe with me. I want her to be happy and for those kids to want me to be part of their lives, their family." He sighed. "You know me Gibbs, you know the _real _me underneath all the jokes and the stupidity. I won't hurt her boss." _I love her too much._ He refrained from voicing that thought. Pennie should be the first one to hear that and she was about as ready to hear it as he was to admit it out loud. "I have never believed that two people could fall for each other as quickly as we seem to of. I saw enough 'love at first sight' relationships with Senior and I know that nine times out of ten they don't work. Nine times out of ten one, or both players, get hurt. I won't do that to her, I won't do it to _myself_, but I have this, _connection_, with her and I already know I would lay down my life if it meant she was safe and happy. This isn't even about the children, if it was just her, I'd feel the same. I know I would. She's still married and I won't pressure her into anything and I mean jeeze I've known her for _four_ days." He ran a hand through his hair quickly. "But I really do care about her Gibbs; I care a _great deal_ about her." Gibbs put down his own glass, as yet untouched, and leant against the workbench. Tony hung his head, trying to find his way back onto the emotional ledge he'd just stepped off of.

"Anthony." He started softly, grabbing Tony's attention immediately. "Pennie is a grown woman. She won't let you rush her." Tony nodded, knowing that much already. "You're right, I do know ya, _both _of ya, and I know if you care about her as much as you say you do, then I have no reason to worry." He paused to pick up his drink again, watching the alcohol move in the glass rather than watching his agent's reaction to what he next had to say. "Never been as proud of you as I am when I see how you support her. Can see how much you care for her and how much you love those kids." Tony felt the back of his eyes burn and quickly mentally scolded himself for the reaction. "I trust you Tony." Gibbs looked up and met his agent's, his friend's, eye. "Maybe it's time you trusted yourself." Tony cleared his throat and turned away quickly to wipe away the tear that was escaping down his face before turning back to his mentor.

"Thank you." It was barely more than an emotional murmur but it never needed to be anything more. Gibbs nodded just the once.

"Go hold her for a bit longer. No doubt Ethan'll be up soon." Tony smiled briefly before turning on his heel and going back upstairs. Gibbs sighed once more and drained his glass before following him up. Ethan wasn't the only one that would be awake soon and Ziva still panicked whenever she woke up and he wasn't beside her.

* * *

Gibbs slowly, and as quietly as possible, opened the bedroom door. He paused as the soft light coming from the bathroom down the hall filtered in and cast its glow over Ziva's peacefully sleeping form. He sighed as he leant against the frame, watching as the sheets she had wrapped around herself rose and fell with every even steady breath, marvelling again at how beautiful she was. How he ever got so lucky he'd never know. He sighed softly as his inner turmoil, the one that had dragged him from her side and towards the comforting embrace of alcohol and woodwork, made itself known once more. Pennie would never know how much, or why, what she had offhandedly said earlier had affected him. He closed his eyes momentarily, allowing himself to be comforted and grounded by Ziva's gentle breathing. She had slept silently in all the time she'd been with him, had confessed early on that having her nose broken multiple times in Africa had, at least, done wonders in that department. He raised his head skyward and sighed once more before rounding the bed and sliding in behind her, gently pulling her back into his body. She hummed in contentment the moment they fit together and covered his hand on her stomach with her own, interlinking their fingers even in sleep. He smiled softly and pressed a butterfly kiss to where his shirt had slipped off her shoulder exposing an inch or two of her skin.

"I love you Ziver. So, _so _much." He murmured against her shoulder. She shifted against him, moving closer, so not even a breath could pass between them, before settling once more, her body and unconscious mind knowing it was safe in his embrace.

* * *

It was almost nine when the household were finally all awake. For everyone else in the house it was relatively normal- when they weren't on call and weren't expected at work it wasn't unheard of, in bad or close-to-home cases, for the younger three agents to sleep through Saturday completely and find themselves waking up midmorning on Sunday, so nine was perfectly acceptable-but for Gibbs it was virtually unheard of. He woke up to the sound of laughing coming from downstairs and quickly realised that, not only did that mean that it was far later than his usual wake up time, but also that Ziva had gotten out of his arms and their bed and had then gotten dressed, all without him noticing. He quickly got himself dressed and went to join the others.

* * *

"Good morning." Ziva greeted him with a smile and a mug of coffee from her place stood at the bottom of the stairs. He kissed her softly for a moment longer than he had intended. When he pulled away he could see the concern in her eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"You shoulda woken me." He murmured, gently stroking one of the curls that had fallen from her loose ponytail from her face. She leant into his touch with a soft smile.

"You looked peaceful. I thought I would let you sleep a little while longer." He nodded distractedly before taking a sip from his coffee and set the mug down on the step behind him. "Jethro, what is the matter?" He cupped her cheek and drew her close into an almost desperate kiss. She curled her hand around his as she kissed him back but let him maintain control. He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers.

"Y'know how much I love you right?" The gasp that fell from her lips was barely noticeable but the concern in her eyes certainly wasn't.

"Of course I do. Jethro, please, you are starting to scare me." He kissed away the slight tremble in her voice before shaking his head as he pulled away from her.

"It's nothing. Where is everyone?" She tilted her head slightly as she stared into his eyes, trying desperately to work out what was wrong with him this morning before clearing her throat gently and righting her head.

"Ethan and Pennie are colouring in the living room and Tony is helping LJ to perfect her Italian. I was helping when I heard you coming down and thought you would appreciate your favourite vice." She chuckled before sobering when she saw something flicker across his gaze that she couldn't determine and didn't like. "You would tell me if it was something I could help with? Or something I had done?" The last sentence sounded slightly more vulnerable than she would have liked.

"Not you." He told her firmly, squeezing her hand before pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "Come on." He grabbed his mug and, never once letting go of her hand, dragged her into the living room to rejoin the others.


	23. Reassurance and Options

Gibbs placed his mug on the coffee table and sat on the couch before pulling Ziva onto his lap, holding her close. No matter the reasons, she was more than happy to be in his arms and quickly settled into his chest, resting her head on his shoulder while she watched Tony and LJ sit on the floor and have a very complicated and advanced conversation in fluent Italian. Apart from the periodic babbling from Ethan and the chuckle it drew from his mother, the others were quite happy just to watch the, nonsense to all but Ziva, conversation unfold.

* * *

_"You're actually really good at this."_ Tony smiled. LJ chuckled.  
_"Photographic memory. I learn quickly."_  
_"I presume your mom only speaks English?"_ LJ nodded.  
_"Dad too. I'm the only one with the interest." _Tony suddenly turned serious. _"What?"_  
_"Y'know, if you ever want to talk, in private, to me or Ziva, you could always not use English? If you wanted?"_ Ziva raised her head from Gibbs' shoulder as she waited for the young girl's answer. She hoped she knew she could come to her in English or otherwise but was grateful, and a little bit proud, that Tony had given her yet another level of privacy if she needed it.  
_"Thanks, but I'm, fine."_ Tony nodded. He had noticed the hesitation but knew this wants the time to draw attention to it.

_"I know."_ He shrugged with a smile before jumping up off the floor. "So, Beautiful, food?" LJ giggled before taking his offered hand and getting to her feet.  
_"Sounds good."_ She nodded before turning to the couch. _"Ziva, food?" _  
Ziva smiled and gently squeezed the hand Gibbs had secured around her waist as if she was his only lifeline.  
"Are you hungry Jethro?" It seemed like he broke out of a daze at her voice.  
"Hmm?" Tony and LJ snickered but Ziva merely turned that concerned gaze at him again.  
"Lunch, Jethro?" He nodded.  
"Yeah, why not?" Ziva watched him for a second longer before carefully sliding off his lap and taking Ethan's hand before following Tony and LJ into the kitchen.

* * *

Pennie sat back in her chair and rolled her head to the side in order to watch Gibbs as he sighed.  
"Is everything okay?" She asked quietly. Gibbs nodded. "Only, you seem, quiet this morning." Gibbs scoffed as he turned to face her. Pennie laughed. "Okay yeah, fair point, quiet_er_ than usual then." Gibbs ducked his chin for a moment before lifting it to watch Ziva hoist Ethan onto the kitchen counter in a practised move and keep him steady while making him a drink with her other hand. She was such a natural. Pennie watched the playbook of emotions play across his face before turning to watch with him. "You have been ever since I said she would be a good mom." Gibbs slowly turned to face her, reluctant to drag his eyes away from Ziva's smiling happy face. "Was I wrong to say that?" Something clicked into place in her head. "Oh, God, Dad. Have I over stepped? Have you not talked about that? Or, can you not _have_ kids? Did I just walk into something and dredge up painful memories?" Gibbs shook his head.  
"As far as I know, we've got no problems." Pennie nodded slowly.  
"So…just maybe…Kelly then?" She asked hesitantly. Even when she was a child it had been a painful subject, one she very rarely brought up. It was even rarer that they actually had a conversation about her, even if it wasn't about her death. Pennie could feel the pain radiate off her stepfather whenever his baby girl was mentioned. She could feel it now. Gibbs' eyes glossed over as he lost himself momentarily in his memories. His girls' smiles and laughs filled his head as he watched them together in his mind.

He was brought back to earth as he heard a crash from the kitchen. Ziva laughed and tickled Ethan until he giggled again before picking up his dropped cup, thankfully not broken, and placed it back onto the counter. Gibbs flashed her a smile as she mouthed him an apology before turning back to Pennie.  
"If Zi asks, I'm in the basement." He stood abruptly and made a speedy exit off her nod. Pennie sighed before getting to her feet and going into the kitchen to help with lunch, wishing she hadn't ever said a word on the subject.

* * *

"Where is Jethro?" Ziva asked as she placed a well cut up sandwich in front of Ethan as he sat on the counter. LJ was sat on the edge of the table with her own lunch while Tony was making hot drinks for the adults. Pennie took her coffee from Tony with a smile.  
"Basement apparently." Ziva sighed, taking her tea from Tony and placing it just out of Ethan's reach. "I shall go see that he is alright."  
"Ziva?" Pennie called before the other woman had even reached the door. "He might need a minute."  
"What happened?" Ziva asked concernedly, helping Ethan to the floor when he held out his arms to her.  
"I, umm, we were talking and I may have mentioned, Kelly." Ziva dropped her chin to her chest with a sigh.  
"Okay. Giving him a minute is a good idea then." She exchanged a look with Tony. "Are you staying here again tonight?" Tony shrugged as he swallowed his mouthful.  
"As far as I know. So long as I'm wanted?" Pennie nodded quickly, making him smile. "Why?" Ziva shook her head.  
"I may not."  
Tony looked at her, confused. "How come?" Ziva sighed.  
"Jethro may need the space to, process. The last thing I want to do is intrude on that."  
"Where will you stay?" Ziva laughed gently.  
"I do not live here permanently Tony. I still keep my apartment. How do you think we have managed to keep our relationship from the team for seven months? I just tend to spend my free time here." He nodded. "I will speak with him after we have eaten." She gave a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes before sipping her drink, hoping that he would be alright.

* * *

Ziva sat on the middle step, watching as Gibbs stared into space, his hand lingering mid-motion. She knew that he knew she was there, and was more than happy to let him lead.  
"I'm alright." He murmured a few minutes later. She smiled, leaning against the banister.  
"I…" She paused, unsure of how to navigate this particular emotional minefield. "I will leave you to it." She stood and turned to leave.  
"Wait." She paused and stood stock still, awaiting direction. "Ask Ziva." She sighed and descended the stairs. She leant against the bench watching as he turned to watch her.  
"Pennie, Pennie said that she mentioned…" She trailed off.  
"Kelly." Gibbs filled in for her. She nodded slightly, dropping eye contact to stare at the floor. "You can say her name."  
She ran a hand through her hair before taking his gaze. "I, I was not sure."

Gibbs sighed, leaning more fully against the frame behind him."Have I ever hid them from ya?"

Ziva hesitated for a second before shaking her head.  
"I'll never forget them…" He started hesitantly.  
"I would never ask you to." She interrupted quickly. He smiled gently.  
"Know that. Doesn't mean you can't ask about them."

She flashed him the barest of smiles, still not quite sure of herself but thankful that he wasn't shutting her out."Would you like me to go home tonight? Give you space?" She watched him cautiously.  
"This is your home Ziver." She sighed and rolled her eyes.  
"That is not what I meant Jethro." He closed the gap between them and cupped her cheek, stroking her cheek bone with this thumb. "All you need do is ask. I do not mind."

He shook his head before kissing her gently, resting his forehead on hers when he pulled back. "Never need space from you Ziva."  
She chuckled softly. "I may hold you to that."  
He chuckled, nudging her cheek with his nose before whispering in her ear. "Hold me to anything ya like."  
She chuckled and he embraced her quickly. "Never be afraid of asking me something, even if I can't answer right away okay?"

She nodded against his shoulder.

"Good."


	24. New Information

Ziva did indeed stay the night, needing very little persuasion after her conversation with Gibbs. The next morning, Ziva returned from her run to find LJ sat on the front porch, a steaming mug of tea in her hands. Ziva pulled her earphones from her ears as she jogged the last few feet of the street before slowing to a walk as she came up.

"Hey." She panted, slowly lowering herself down to sit beside her. "What are you doing up so early?" LJ shrugged before passing her the bottle of water she had brought out with her, ready for Ziva's return. "Thanks." Ziva shot her a curious smile before quenching her thirst quickly, recapping the bottle and putting it beside her. "So, you okay?" LJ nodded.

"Yeah, I…I just couldn't sleep." She shot her a small self-conscious smile before turning back to the street and sipping her tea. Ziva watched her for a moment, sipping from her bottle.

"Nightmares?" She asked softly, watching the sky lighten rather than the young girl beside her.

"Yeah." LJ replied quietly. Ziva nodded once and started turning her sealed bottle end to end between her hands.

"Y'know, when I say 'I know what they are like' that is not a platitude just to try and get you to tell me about them, I honestly do know." LJ turned to her curiously and Ziva sighed softly. "Something happened, a few years ago now, I had terrible nightmares for months." She shook her head at herself. "I still have them occasionally." LJ hesitated.

"Wh-what happened?" Ziva shook her head.

"Something I would never share with you." LJ nodded.

"That's fair enough." Ziva smiled. They sat in silence for a while. "It's only really the last few weeks that they've gotten really bad. Ever since, well…" She petered off and for once, Ziva let her. If she was going to tell her what was haunting her dreams, it had to be on her terms. "I try really hard to get back to sleep. I, I don't want to worry mom." Ziva smiled softly.

"You know that she worries about you even though you try to stop her right? It's her job as mom to worry about you." LJ smiled.

"I know." She sighed. "Who did you tell first? About your nightmares?" Ziva smiled gently.

"Jethro." LJ nodded. "You have to remember, my family _are_ the people I work with. I do not have the option of talking to my biological family."

"Can I tell you something? Do you promise not to think less of me?" Ziva couldn't hide her concern.

"I have told you before Neshomeleh, _nothing_ you could _ever _tell me would make me think less of you." LJ nodded before talking quietly.

"I still love my father. I mean, of course, I hate what he did to my mother and I, the things he said to me, but, he…" She faltered as she tried to swallow the sudden onslaught of tears. "He's still my daddy." Ziva quickly pulled her into her chest and held on tight.

"I know. Oh Sweetheart, I know." Ziva rocked them both. She knew _that_ feeling all too well.

* * *

Ziva crept back into the master bedroom after leaving LJ in the living room reading a book and crouched in front of a very much asleep Gibbs. She gently stroked a strand of hair back off his forehead and smiled when he growled.

"Sleeping." She giggled and went to kiss the tip of his nose, accidently letting a small noise of shock escape when he moved so she kissed him properly. She chuckled and shook her had as she pulled back.

"I thought you said you were sleeping?" He cracked one eye open and smiled when he saw the blatant amusement on her face.

"Am." He smiled, closing his eye again.

"I will leave you to it while I shower then." She smiled as she stood. Gibbs quickly wrapped his arms around her waist as she started to leave and pulled her back into bed, until she landed beside him in a rather ungraceful giggling heap. "That was not fair!" He chuckled before kissing her slowly into submission, the type of kiss that made her toes curl.

"Better?" He laughed, knowing full well what the answer was when he stared down at her, noticing as it took her a fair while to open her eyes again. She nodded languidly.

"Mhmm, much." He chuckled again and kissed her cheek. "I do not want to shower now. I would much rather stay right here." Gibbs smiled, nuzzling his face against the base of her neck.

"That's fine by me." He murmured, the noise vibrated through her skin, making her moan gently, before pressing a lingering open-mouthed kiss to her neck. "I'm happy to keep ya in bed all day." They both chuckled before he kissed her as he gently rolled her beneath him. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around his back, stroking firm lines along his spine, before tilting her head to the side to give him better access as he moved down her neck. He barely touched the spot that never failed to make her whimper when there was a thud from Pennie and Tony's room. Ziva sighed.

"You should go see what happened." He shook his head before gently sucking on her skin, making her body arch without her brain's permission as a slight whimper fell from her lips. She gently pushed his shoulders away and sat up. He didn't look happy. "We can finish this later, I promise. But please, for your sanity as much as my own, will you go see that they are okay?"

"Fine." He grumbled. "But you are mine tonight." Ziva giggled, pulling at the collar of his t shirt so she could kiss him.

"I am yours every night Jethro." He growled possessively before kissing her quickly and leaving the room to see what had happened while she fell back into bed and tried to regulate her heart beat before having to deal with the rest of the household.

* * *

Gibbs quickly rapped on the second bedroom door, not wanting to burst in just in case what they had heard had been Pennie kicking Tony out of bed. As it happened when Tony opened the door, thankfully for both men, he was fully dressed.

"Hey boss. Didn't mean to wake you." He rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously but Gibbs quickly waved him off.

"Ya didn't, what happened? You both alright?" It was only then that he took in the rest of the room. Pennie's phone sat on the floor at the bottom of the bed, in several pieces- nothing unfixable but he could tell she had either dropped or thrown it- while Pennie herself sat against the headboard, her knees drawn up to her chest. "Pen?" Gibbs quickly looked to Tony, who nodded subtly, before crossing the room and sitting beside her. "Pennie?" The quiet gentleness of his voice hurt Tony's heart. He shook his head at himself before leaving the room and sitting on the top step, head in hands.

* * *

"Tony?" Ziva asked slowly, coming to stand beside him. He rolled his head up so they made eye contact. She saw the watery smile and immediately dropped to sit beside him. He moved over to give her room, Gibbs' stairs weren't really wide enough for two grown adults to sit on. "What happened?" She asked softly, gently covering his hand with her own where it rested on his knee.

"He text her this morning." He missed her gasp.

"What did it say?" Tony chuckled sadly and Ziva felt her hatred for Shaun Harrod increase even further: no one makes her friend feel like that.

"It said, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'This isn't over, I'll find you, I wasn't kidding when I said that I'd kill you, ask Lauren what I'll do to you both if you don't come home right now." He didn't miss her gasp this time, or the death grip she suddenly had his hand in. "Zi? It's okay. We'll keep them both safe." She shook her head quickly.

"I, I know." He turned his hand over and linked their fingers.

"I mean it." She nodded, turning to him with a small smile.

"I know." He smiled back reassuringly. "How is Pennie?" Tony shrugged.

"Not good. She dropped the phone and curled up in the foetal position against the headboard as soon as she saw it. Gibbs is with her." Ziva nodded. "Do you know where the kids are?"

"LJ is downstairs, she was up shortly after me this morning, she met me from my run." Tony whistled through his teeth. "Yeah. Ethan I presume is still in bed. I shall go check, why don't you go see Lauren?" Tony nodded and squeezed her hand before standing and trotting down the stairs while Ziva headed to the spare room.


	25. The Beginning Of His End

Author's Note-Okay, couple of things. One, the second half of this chapter is rather a lot darker than the first. The first half is fluffy while the second has both trigger and tissue warnings attatched. Please be advised. I'm not telling you not to read, just to not yell at me if it makes you cry/hate a character/hate me okay? Also, ZC, I am here with a hug and a box of chocolates to make up for this whenever you need to claim them okay Honey? That goes for any and all readers who wish to rant to me, my PM is always open. Okay. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva stood in the door way of the spare room and simply watched the little boy sleep for a few minutes. She watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest, beyond thankful that he was blissfully unaware of everything around him. With slow, steady steps, she crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, neatly made from where LJ had gotten up hours earlier, and slowly reached out to stroked the fine, baby-soft, hair from his forehead. Ethan didn't move and, suddenly overcome with the need to hold him, Ziva laid beside him, propping herself up on one elbow, and gently stroked his cheek with the back of her finger. After a few minutes, she felt him stir and froze in place. His bright blue eyes fluttered open and met hers.

"Good morning, Sweetheart." Ziva smiled. Ethan quickly held up both his arms and Ziva scooped him up, pulling his sleep warmed body onto her lap and into her chest. "Your sister is downstairs." He nodded against her, before burying his face further into her chest, breathing a gentle, content, baby sigh, making Ziva's heart melt.

"Time for ups?" He asked sleepily and Ziva couldn't help the smile or the gentle laugh that escaped her.

"That is right little man, time to get up. Do you need me to help you get dressed, or can you do that all by yourself?" Ethan only snuggled further into her body.

"Hugs for a while?" She smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"Okay little one, just for a little while." She gently rocked them back and forth, humming half forgotten lullabies, while she rested her cheek against the top of his head.

* * *

Tony made his way into the living room and sat on the edge of the coffee table, opposite LJ, as she sat on the couch, her nose in a book, legs curled under her as she read. After a moment, she realised he was there and slowly lowered her book.

"Hi?" She asked cautiously. Tony flashed her a smile before taking her book, putting his finger in the middle to keep her place, before grabbing her bookmark from beside him and sliding it in place of his finger. He carefully put the, now closed, book on the table and rested his forearms on his thighs, clasping his hands. He stared at them for a moment. "Is mom okay?" LJ asked quietly. Tony nodded before slowly looking up and meeting her eye.

"She got a text message from your father this morning, it has her pretty shaken up." LJ nodded slowly. "Actually, he said something that I'd like to talk to you about." He could practically feel the tension flood her body as she sat up straighter.

"Oh?" He nodded. "Wh-what did he say?" Tony smiled at her reassuringly, before taking her tiny hand in both of his own with a gentle squeeze.

"He said that, your mom should ask you what he'll do to you both, if you don't come home right now." He felt her try to pull her hand away as fear flashed in her eyes, and held on tighter, not letting her escape when she so clearly needed to talk about this. "Do you know what he might mean by that Lauren?"

"You, you _never_ call me Lauren." She murmured, more to herself than to him, before dropping his gaze and staring determinedly at the unlit fireplace. Tony sighed and changed tactics.

"Lauren? Look at me please." She sniffed before, very reluctantly, taking his gaze once more. "You know that we will protect you? You, your mom and Ethan, you will all be safe with us. You _know _that?" She nodded slowly. "So, you know that if you tell us something, you won't get in trouble, right?" Another nod. "And you won't be putting anyone in danger?"

"I, I know." She told him slowly and it didn't take a trained federal agent to detect the first hint of tears in her voice. Tony pressed forward despite them, making sure to keep his voice calm and soft.

"And you know that not telling us something won't protect your dad, right? You know that you trying to protect him isn't clever?" She flickered her eyes away from his, staring instead at their conjoined hands. "Lauren…?"

"He..." She halted her interruption to take a fiercely shuddering breath. "He's my daddy, whatever he has done." She whispered. Tony held onto her hand tighter and gently stroked his thumb across her wrist.

"I know. I've been there okay? I know what it's like to feel like you have to protect your father. But it doesn't help. Okay? You need to trust me. You need to tell us what he said so we can protect you. We need your help to keep your mom, and Ethan, and _you_, _safe_." She nodded slowly and Tony smiled gently. "So, can you tell me what he said he'd do to you?" She nodded once.

"He…" She cleared her throat and ran her spare, shaking hand through her hair. "He told me that if mom ever left him, if, if I ever _let_ her…then, he would…" Her voice broke and Tony gently squeezed her hand, grounding her. She took another deep, shaky breath before trying again. "He said that, it would be _my_ fault. He said that he'd, _hunt_ me down. Both of us, all of us after Ethan was born, but mainly me. He said that he would, kill, me and and m-make her watch, to _punish_ her. He, he said that he would k-kill Ethan, then, then me, then mom and then, and then himself." A single tear fell down her cheek and Tony's heart broke for her. "He said if I ever, left, I was _never_ welcome back in his house. He, he s-said he'd _k-kill_ us." All of a sudden, she crumpled in on herself as sobs rocked her entire frame. Tony quickly released her hand, which instantly joined its twin covering her face, and sat beside her on the couch, quickly and carefully pulling her onto his lap and cradling her into his chest.

"It's okay." He murmured against her head, before kissing her crown. "You're safe Lauren. We won't let him hurt you. A_ny _of you. I promise." He gently rocked them back and forth whispering sweet soothings in her ear.

"I was so scared Tony." She murmured a few minutes later. "He always managed to make me feel _so small._" Tony felt his heart break further as tears stung the back of his eyes. How dare that man make his own daughter so damn scared of him? Tony could feel his hatred for the man increase, but he would never let the broken little girl in his arms see it. He would protect her, and her mom and brother, until the day he died. He loved them all so much and he knew, in that moment, he would lay down his life for any of them in a heartbeat if it would keep them safe. And more than anything, he knew that _he_ wanted to be the one to personally put a bullet in Shaun Harrod's head.


	26. Kept Secrets and Sinking Feelings

Author's Note-This chapter, although not particularly happy, sorry about that, comes as the first part of my basically-blood-best-friend-Becky-who-is-18-today's birthday present! So Happy Birthday Bex! Also, there may be a slight warning about this but I personally don't think it's bad enough for a tissue warning. Read, review, enjoy! NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs stayed with Pennie until she had calmed down enough to not be hyperventilating, before leaving her to shower and get dressed by herself, making sure to take all the pieces that looked like they belonged to her mobile so one of the younger ones could fix it later. He chuckled at his own descriptor before going into his bedroom and putting all the bits on his bed. He showered quickly and got dressed in something more presentable than his boxers and T-Shirt, before going on the hunt for everyone else.

* * *

He stopped beside Ethan's open door and peered round to see if anyone was in there. His heart tripped as he took in the sight before him. Ziva was sat on the bed, leaning against the back wall, eyes closed, the mid-morning sunlight streaming in through the window making her gorgeous caramel complexion sparkle. She was cradling Ethan against her chest protectively, even in sleep, as he snuffled gently against her. Gibbs stood watching them for a few minutes, both revelling in the sight of all they could have and hating himself for thinking it. If he wasn't so afraid of her reaction, he'd just tell her the truth, but he couldn't see that ending anyway but badly and he couldn't risk losing her. He shook his head at himself before noticing that Ziva's sleep heavy eyes were fluttering open.

"Hi." She whispered, slowly and carefully adjusting Ethan so his weight was more evenly distributed across her. He sighed and settled again quickly, burying his face further into her chest as if hiding from the sun's bright rays.

"Hey." He replied just as softly, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed beside her.

"What time is it?" She asked, stifling a yawn before resting her cheek across Ethan's head. Gibbs smiled.

"Little after nine. Pennie's in the shower. Guessing DiNozzo's with LJ?" She nodded languidly. "You're tired then?" He chuckled. She smiled softly.

"I only came in to check on him, make sure what had happened next door didn't wake or frighten him. He asked for a hug and I could not deny him. I must have fallen asleep." Gibbs reached out and gently tucked one of her loose curls behind her ear. She hummed softly. "Thank you." He smiled before pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek.

"Once you wake the baby, I'll be downstairs." He rose quickly but she captured his hand before he could go very far. He turned back to face her curiously.

"Jethro? You have been avoiding me all weekend." There was a sadness in her voice that made his arms itch to hold her. He ignored the instinct, deciding instead deflection was his best option.

"We share a bed, I can't avoid ya." Her brow furrowed as she shook her head.

"You know what I mean. Anytime I am with the children you seem to act as if I am doing something terrible." Gibbs sighed before carefully removing his hand from her grip. She didn't like the look in his eyes.

"Don't get attached." He warned gruffly. "Soon as we sort Harrod, they're gone." He left quickly, leaving Ziva with a terrible sinking feeling.

* * *

Monday rolled around, bringing with it no ease or respite in the subtle tensions between Gibbs and Ziva. As was routine now, Ziva drove LJ in, while Gibbs drove alone, Tony taking Pennie and Ethan instead.

Something in the way Ziva held herself, the slight sadness hidden in the chocolate of her gaze, made LJ a little uncomfortable being in the confined space of the elevator with her. The young girl stood in the middle while Ziva leant, slumped against the back wall. LJ gently cleared her throat, a piercing interruption in the suffocating silence.

"You know, I could probably make this trip with my eyes closed by now, you needn't escort me." Ziva sighed, only serving to make the silence even more oppressive despite LJ's attempt at lightening the mood.

"Protocol. You do not own a badge and thus need to be accompanied by an agent at all times."

"Ah." LJ nodded. Unable to stand the silence any longer, she started to hum softly, mimicking the finger movements for the chords Tony had taught her over the weekend.

* * *

All too long a moment later, the elevator doors finally opened to reveal Abby stood on the other side, waiting for their arrival. LJ was undeniably happy to see her, happier to get out of the lift, something that even in her headspace Ziva couldn't miss. The sinking feeling only increased; LJ had enough to deal with without her laying all her own problems at the poor girl's feet. Abby smiled in greeting to them both before turning to LJ.

"Hey Kiddo, I need to talk to Zi for a minute, you alright in there on your own?" LJ nodded before quickly moving into the lab and heading straight through to the office. "Don't touch the bottle on the Evidence Table okay?" LJ quickly pirouetted on the spot, executing the move perfectly with grace and poise, to face her.

"I wasn't going to." Abby smiled sheepishly.

"I know, but I had to tell ya." LJ smiled back.

"I know. I'll just read until you come back." She held up her book, yet another classic, to show Abby.

"I won't be long." The scientist smiled before stepping into the elevator, barely waiting for it to move before hitting the brake.

* * *

"So…?" Abby started excitedly, barely able to stay still as her question burned on the tip of her tongue. The moment Ziva rolled her eyes to meet hers however, the excitement faded. "What's wrong?" She asked softly, leaning against the wall beside her. Ziva sighed.

"Long day yesterday. And night. Well." She chuckled humourlessly. "Long weekend in general really." Abby watched her.

"Wanna talk about it?" Ziva shrugged before shaking her head quickly, swallowing hard to stop the break in her emotions she could feel building. They were both silent for a moment, Ziva wrestling to keep her mask in place and Abby unconsciously giving her a moment to do so.

"You clearly had a reason to arrange this meeting Abby. Would you like to ask whatever it was you were going to?" Abby smiled softly.

"I was just gonna ask if there was anything you'd like to share actually." Ziva looked at her, curious. "You just seem to be spending a lot of time at Gibbs' lately. After the first phone call from Harrod, LJ said that she'd of had to sneaked past her mom, Gibbs and _you_ at home and also you told her to come and wake you up if she had a nightmare and she asked what if she woke Gibbs too." Ziva sighed; she should have known they could never hide anything from Abby. So much for _them _telling the team. "I mean I've spent my fair share of nights crashing on his couch, we all have, but I get the feeling that isn't why you're there." Abby explained slowly.

"Perhaps I am simply staying so as to give Lauren the support she so clearly needs while her mother is dealing with her abusive nearly ex husband, her divorce and the case we are all working surrounding the situation. Have you thought of that?" If Abby was taken aback by the defensive tone Ziva was taking, she didn't show it.

"Yes. I did think of that. Actually that was my first thought." She replied calmly, stopping the fight before it started. "But given your reaction to my question, if I didn't know to never presume anything, I would presume that that isn't the case?" Ziva sighed again, a much deeper, more painful sound before leaning her head against the wall and turning towards her friend.

"Jethro and I are sleeping together." She told her matter-of-factly. "Is that what you want to hear?" Abby shook her head slowly, worry swimming in her emerald eyes.

"Because I think there's more to it than that. If you two were just _sleeping_ together, I don't think either of you is stupid enough to do it with two kids and his as-good-as daughter in the house." Ziva scoffed. "I also don't think either of you would be happy with a casual relationship at this point in your lives. And then there's always that fact that you're _stunning_ and could have _any_ guy you liked if casual sex was all you wanted, so why would you pick someone as risky as your boss?" She hesitated for a moment. "Zi, you know I don't care who you're with so long as they treat you right and you're happy, right?" Ziva hesitated before nodding slowly.

"I know." She murmured.

"So…?"

"Seven months." Ziva whispered slowly, more than a hint of vulnerability coating the words. "Seven months next Thursday." Abby smiled softly.

"Congratulations." Ziva chuckled faintly. "I'm happy for you, both of you." Ziva gently returned her smile. "So I'm guessing, he had something to do with how long your weekend was?" She nodded slowly. "Wanna talk about it now I know?"

"Believe it or not, we are actually rather good at talking through our problems usually." Abby shot her look of pure incredibility making Ziva smile. "It is a slow process, I shall admit, but Jethro and I both know how important communication is. So we try, hard, to talk to each other. About _whatever _is bothering us, but this…" She filtered off with a soft sigh and a shake of her head. "I do not know where his head is at and he will not tell me. I feel as if I am treading on eggs around him." Abby smiled faintly.

"Egg_shells_." She corrected gently. "Any ideas?"

"He walked in on me napping while holding Ethan and told me not to get attached to the children. He gives me these looks whenever I am around them, it's as if I am doing something terrible." Abby pondered that.

"Have the two of you, y'know, actually _discussed_ children?" Ziva shook her head, slight shock colouring her gaze.

"We discussed _protection, _but never children. We have only been in a relationship for seven months Abby, we are not exactly rushing ourselves."

"Maybe, maybe you should. Talk about kids not rush things. I mean, Gibbs is already a dad."

"Kelly." Ziva breathed softly.

"And Tony, and Timmy and me. He's all of our dad in everything but blood and name. Maybe he just wants to concentrate on you for a while and thinks you're gonna get attached to Lauren and Ethan, and then get really broody and make him rush the two of you. Or maybe he can't have anymore kids? I mean he did get married another three times and none of _them_ got pregnant."

"Stephanie couldn't have children, it was not him." Abby shrugged.

"Even so, there was another two and he definitely got divorced not annulled, so they were clearly not unconsummated. Just a thought." Ziva nodded slowly.

"I had not thought of that." Abby smiled.

"Now, I have left a twelve year old, admittedly a genius level IQ twelve year old, but twelve year old all the same, alone with a bottle of Hydrochloric acid so I need to get back to the lab." Ziva smiled and nodded.

"Of course." Abby quickly drew her into a hug.

"Anytime you need to talk, day or night, gory details or not, I'm only ever a phone call away, you know that right?" Ziva nodded. "And, I'm presuming Zibbs isn't common knowledge?" Ziva shook her head slowly before pausing and pulling back to look Abby in the eye confusedly. "What?"

"_Zibbs_, Abby?" Abby chuckled.

"Ziva, Gibbs. Pushed together makes Zibbs."

"Right?" Ziva asked slowly.

"Never mind. You just want me to keep schtum huh?" Ziva nodded.

"If you could, I would be eternally grateful." Abby nodded.

"Secret's safe with me Zi." They exchanged smiles before Abby flicked the contraption back to life and left to be LJ's playmate for the day while Ziva hit the number for the bullpen.


	27. Good News and Bad News

"No, Honey, of course it's okay." Tim's soft voice drew Ziva's attention as she entered the bullpen. "Honestly, I don't mind." He smiled despite the fact he was on the phone and whomever he was talking to couldn't actually see him. "We can celebrate when you get back. I'll come pick you up from the airport and we'll go to dinner." He paused before chuckling. "Okay, or we could do that, I'm up for that. I love you too. See you soon. Bye." He ended his call before sighing happily and turning back to the bullpen.

"So McLoverboy, I hope that was the famous Lilly you were talking to." Tony joked, managing to drag his eyes away from his partner for the first time since she had trudged in. Tim smiled.

"It was." He smiled again before putting his mobile in his top draw and starting to type. "She has to go out of town for the week, she get's back Friday evening, she was just letting me know." Ziva flashed him a smile.

"Where is she going?"

"London. Her sister's just had a baby and she's offered to go out and help for the first week. Her husband's in the army so Clare'd be on her own otherwise." Tony smiled.

"So, does that make you a McUncle?" Tim chuckled lightly.

"Maybe. Lills does refer to her as _our _niece and I have a picture on my phone." Tony and Ziva both smiled at him.

"Yes, you are definitely her Uncle. May we see?" Tim nodded and quickly plugged his phone into his computer, bringing a picture of a very tiny baby girl up onto the plasma. "Oh, she is beautiful McGee." Ziva gushed gently.

"She's tiny!" Gibbs chose that moment to round the corner.

"Infants are DiNozzo." He walked between the desks, subtly watching as Ziva traced the child's delicate features with her gaze. "Who's the baby?"

"McGee's niece." Tony supplied. Tim took down the picture and disconnected his phone.

"Didn't know Sarah was pregnant?" Gibbs asked as he sat at his desk. Ziva shook her head.

"The baby is Lilly's sister's." Gibbs nodded before turning his characteristic smile on Tim.

"Congratulations then McGee." Tim smiled. "Now all of ya get back to work. I want that text message and phone traced in the hour." All three agents nodded before setting about their tasks.

* * *

The agents were nearly at their hour deadline and so far, none of them were able to trace where, or from what cell, Harrod's call had come from, and they had exhausted every avenue they could think of. Gibbs' desk phone rang suddenly, making everyone jump. He grabbed it quickly.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs!" Abby's frantic voice could be heard from across the bullpen and instantly put all three agents on alert.

"Abbs, slow down." Gibbs ordered her gently. "What's going on?"

"It's LJ!" Ziva was on her feet the moment her name was out of Abby's mouth, Tony not far behind her, both of them armed within the seconds it took them to stand.

"What about her?" Gibbs asked but Ziva and Tony had already taken off, both practically sprinting for the stairs, neither having the patience to wait for the elevator.

* * *

Both agents burst into the lab, Tony panting significantly more than his partner, and both immediately found Abby. She was pacing in front of the office door, tightening first one, then the other, pigtail before repeating the process.

"Abby? What happened? What's wrong? Where's Lauren?" Tony asked rapidly, Ziva frantically searching the room.

"She's in the office. She won't let me in. Her…" Abby faltered, drawing both of her colleagues' attention.

"Abby?" Ziva encouraged her to continue.

"Her dad called and she took it. That's when I called Gibbs." Ziva's heart dropped. "She locked herself in the office to take the call and hasn't come out since." After a quick and silent conversation, Tony drew the shaking scientist into a hug while Ziva gently knocked on the glass door. About a minute later, the door _swished _open and Ziva stepped inside cautiously.

"LJ?" She called out hesitantly. A small sob reached her ears and Ziva quickly pinpointed the noise to have come from behind Abby's desk. She covered the distance in two steps and crouched, finding herself practically nose to nose with a sobbing LJ. "Oh, Sweetheart." Ziva husked gently sitting in front of her and extending her arms. LJ immediately took the offer and climbed into her lap, tucking her head- today adorning a thin black, with red cherry motifs, head scarf-under Ziva's chin. Ziva quickly encased her and held her tightly.

* * *

Gibbs had followed his agents down by the time Ziva found her and Tony was quick to fill him in on the details Abby had been too frantic to relay over the phone.

"Zi's with her now. She hasn't said anything, she's just holding her." Gibbs sighed.

"Okay, where's Pennie?" Tony regarded his boss closely.

"With Ethan, she didn't want to leave him alone today but boss, I don't think Pennie is going to be able to support LJ if she finds out Harrod called her too, it will freak her out and if I can, I want to protect her as much as possible." Gibbs shook his head.

"Lauren needs her mom, DiNozzo." Gibbs practically growled.

"She has Ziva, Gibbs." Tony argued, ignoring the daggers being glared at him. "Let Ziva calm her down, talk to her, find out what happened before you get Pennie. If LJ is calm then it's more likely to keep Pennie calm. She'll deal with this a lot better if she doesn't have to see LJ sobbing. You know as well as I do that if Pennie sees how upset Harrod has made her little girl, she will go all _vigilante_ and wind up getting herself killed." Their glaring match was interrupted as Abby walked past them with a glass of water and entered the office, crouching behind her desk and passing it to LJ before coming back. "Just give Ziva five minutes before you go all Daddy-Gibbs on her okay?" He didn't notice his boss flinch at the term.

"Okay. Five minutes but that's it DiNozzo." Tony nodded, confident his partner could calm Lauren down enough to not completely freak out her mom in her time limit.

* * *

"LJ?" Ziva asked gently, leaning down to catch her eye. "Would you like to tell me what he said?" LJ's eyes remained closed, despite the tears still falling down her cheeks. "I cannot help unless…"

"He said he'd find us." She murmured tearfully. "He said that he would find us and when he did, when he did, he was going to take me home and, and no one would ever find me. He said he'd, he said he'd kill mom. E-Ethan, Ethan he would leave to, to…" She filtered off unable to repeat what he had said about her baby brother. Ziva rested her cheek on LJ's crown and held her even tighter.

"We will not let that happen Lauren. We will not let him find you." LJ wrapped her hands around Ziva's shoulders and clung to her.

"Promise?" She whispered in her ear. Ziva gently kissed her cheek and hugged her back.

"Promise."


	28. Communication Issues

Author's Note-I'm still not entirely happy with the Z/J conversation in this chapter but rather than making you wait for me to send it to ZC and then again for her expert opinion and my corrections, I thought I'd just upload it and hope for the best. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva carefully helped LJ to stand before rising to her own feet and taking her hand. They slowly left the office and were greeted by concerned looks from both Tony and Abby while Gibbs just stared at Ziva with frustration and something akin to anger in his eyes.

"I think you should phone Pennie now, Tony. I can think of a little girl who needs a hug with her mom." Ziva smiled. Tony flashed a smile at them both before dialling for Pennie. Abby quickly drew LJ into a hug.

"I was worried." She told her without accusation.

"I'm sorry Abby." LJ murmured. "I just…" Abby shook her head when she filtered off.

"No need for apologies. I'm just glad you're okay." Ziva smiled at the scene before catching Gibbs' eye. He motioned towards the elevator purposefully and Ziva nodded subtly back.

"Excuse us." She murmured to the group before following Gibbs out of the lab, ignoring the curious gazes of both of her colleagues.

* * *

Gibbs hit the emergency brake urgently and spun on the spot to face Ziva.

"You had no idea what was going on! You could have run into the middle of anything! You didn't wait for instructions!" He raged, making Ziva take an involuntary step back. She quickly found her voice, however.

"LJ was in danger, Jethro! That is all I _needed_ to hear!" Gibbs sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"You are getting too attached to those kids Ziver! You are putting yourself in harms way for them! Forgetting protocol!"

"It is no more than I would do for you!" Gibbs paused and looked at her as if he was really seeing her for the first time all weekend. "It is no more, than I would do, for you." Ziva repeated calmly, gently cupping his cheek.

"That's my point Zi." He murmured, letting his eyes slip closed for barely a moment at the contact before finding hers again. "They are nothing to do with you, you cannot get this attached." Hurt flashed in her eyes as she withdrew her hand as if he'd burnt her.

"They are your _family_, Jethro." She told him shakily. "I thought I, I thought that meant they were mine." Gibbs sighed. "I guess, I was, misinformed." She flashed him a very quick smile that was anything but happy. "Your family are your own, nothing to do with me. Got it."

"Ziva…?"

"No, no. I get it. We are merely dating, perhaps I was right when I told Abby that we were sleeping together, perhaps that's all we are to each other." She reached for the brake but Gibbs' hand enclosed around her fingers, bringing them to his lips. He gently kissed her knuckles before pulling her into him, holding her waist tightly.

"We love each other." When she didn't relax in his arms, he rested his head on her shoulder. "Not saying that they aren't your family, just…don't want…" He sighed frustratedly at his own lack of words to describe what he was feeling. "Just asking you not to get attached to them, don't get used to having kids in the house." Ziva floundered for a moment.

"W-why?" Gibbs shook his head.

"Just, don't." She turned to him curiously.

"Oh okay? Okay, no no, I'm not." He quickly kissed her before pulling back and starting the elevator once more. Ziva turned back to the doors, more confused now than she was at the beginning of the conversation.

* * *

Ziva was about to stride into the lab when she found herself halted in the doorway by the sight before her. LJ was clinging to her mother's waist for dear life while Pennie had one arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other firmly around Tony's waist, who in turn was holding them both in his embrace. A small smile played on Ziva's lips as she watched the scene, before Abby joined her in the door way.

"Makes your heart glad huh?" Abby smiled as she leant against the wall beside her friend. Ziva nodded slowly. "Where'd Gibbs go?" Abby saw as she turned to find that she was indeed alone.

"Back upstairs, I suppose." Ziva murmured softly, a sadness dancing just on the edge of her tone.

"Wanna talk about it?" Abby asked nonchalantly, sipping from the ever present Caf-Pow in her hand. Ziva chuckled hesitantly.

"I could not, even if I wanted to." Abby tilted her head to face her. "I have no idea what is going on in his head, Abby. There is something wrong- that much is obvious- but, he will not tell me what or even give me enough clues for me to piece it together. I cannot help him if he does not at least give me _something _to work with." Abby sighed.

"He's a complicated man Zi, seven months in, you should know that by now." Ziva chuckled.

"I do, oh I promise you, I _know, _but…" She trailed off on a shake of her head. "I thought we were closer than this." Abby squeezed her friend's hand gently. Tony lifted his head from its place on Pennie's and caught Ziva's eye.

"Guess we should be heading back to work, huh?" Ziva nodded. Tony kissed the top of Pennie's head, smoothing his hand through her long flaming ponytail one last time before hugging LJ when she stepped away from her mother's arms. "See you soon okay Kiddo?" She nodded. "And do me a favour yeah? Get Abbs to phone us before you take anymore calls okay?" It was hard to miss the guilt in her eyes but LJ nodded all the same. "Good girl." Tony walked over to join Ziva while Abby went back to work. They were just about to leave when LJ met them in the door and flung her arms around Ziva's waist from behind. Ziva startled slightly before smiling and holding LJ's hands where they rested on her stomach.

"Thank you." LJ murmured into Ziva's back. She smiled and stroked her thumb over the little girl's hands.

"Not at all Tateleh. Always happy to help." LJ nodded before returning to the lab while Tony and Ziva met the elevator and started their journey back to the bullpen.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent trying desperately to trace the call sent to LJ's mobile and the text to Pennie's on little to nothing to go on. Gibbs was barely in the bullpen, and was flinging orders and head slaps around like they were candy whenever he was. Tony kept silently asking what had happened in the elevator, what had Gibbs so tense and what Ziva was planning on doing about it every time their fearless leader left their presence, on the pretence of coffee, but she seemed just as clueless as he did. By five that night, all three agents were nursing headaches, both boys head slapped induced headaches, and Gibbs' mood remained just as stormy. LJ, Ethan and Pennie came into the bullpen, escorted by a quick-to-retreat Abby, shortly before they all planned to leave. Ziva was more than happy to escape, she had had more than enough of Gibbs' attitude and downright disdain to talking to her. She quickly packed her things and grabbed LJ's hand, throwing a 'goodnight' over her shoulder in the boys' direction before hurrying to the elevator.

* * *

"Is Gibbs mad at me?" LJ asked quietly, watching her hands as they rested in her lap. Ziva changed gear quickly before flicking her eyes over to the young girl sat in her passenger seat. She shook her head as she returned her eyes to the road.

"Why would you think that?" LJ shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. I get a phone call from my dad and not ten minutes later, the two of you are having an argument in the elevator, and then he's shifting along the _entire_ spectrum of distant to angry for the whole day. I'm sure I could be forgiven for thinking it was something to do with me."

"It is not _you_ he is mad with." Ziva sighed. LJ turned to her curiously.

"Why is he mad at you?" Ziva chuckled sadly.

"If I _knew_, I doubt he would _be_ so mad." LJ nodded slowly.

"I don't think he likes me and Ethan very much." Again, Ziva flicked her gaze to the girl.

"What gives you that impression?"

"The looks he gives you whenever you are around us is rather a good indicator." Ziva sighed, reaching for her hand. LJ linked their fingers and Ziva gently stroked her thumb back and forth.

"It is not that he doesn't like you Tateleh. He just…I think…" She sighed and shook her head, releasing LJ's hand to change gear. "It is not you."


	29. Bad Dreams and Space

Ziva pulled up outside Gibbs' and put the car into park before turning to LJ. LJ hesitated for a moment before unclipping her seat belt with a small smile.

"You're going home, aren't you?" It wasn't a question. Ziva nodded slowly.

"I do not want to fight with Jethro and you do not need to be around it." LJ nodded gently, her eyes glued to her lap. "Hey." Ziva started softly, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, capturing her attention. "I am not far away. You have my mobile number if you should need me." LJ nodded.

"I know." She sighed. "I just wish you two weren't fighting." Ziva gently tapped her nose, making her smile.

"Me too Tateleh. I shall see you in the morning, yes?" LJ nodded. "Good girl. I shall text you goodnight." LJ smiled before taking her book from her lap and getting out of the car, letting it close softly. Ziva held up her hand in a wave, which LJ returned, as she sped off down the road, passing Gibbs and Tony as she did.

* * *

Tony stepped out of his car and, after opening Pennie's door for her, carefully lifted Ethan out of his car seat and onto his chest. He held him to himself as he shut the car door as quietly as he could so as not to wake the napping toddler. He slowly adjusted Ethan until they both seemed comfortable before addressing LJ, who was clearly waiting for him to ask his questions.

"Zi say where she was taking off to?" Tony asked as he leant against the front of his car, watching as the front door closed behind Pennie, who had followed shortly after Gibbs had stormed in, cell in hand.

"Home." LJ told him softly. "She said she didn't want to argue with Gibbs and didn't want us around it, so she's going home." Tony nodded slowly.

"Not like Ziva to run and hide." He mused more to himself than her.

"I don't think she's hiding Tony." LJ replied gently. "Running, I'll grant you, but I think it's to give them both space. Gibbs, to work through whatever it is that has him acting this way, and Ziva, to work through the feelings of hurt and betrayal she's feeling at Gibbs keeping her at arms length. Something which, in my twelve year old opinion, she is perfectly in her rights to feel, and thus do." Tony smiled as he shook his head.

"Anyone ever tell ya you have a wise head for such young shoulders?" LJ giggled.

"Many a time. Mostly my mother. She says I am 'old for my age'." She smiled. "You're Ziva's best friend, yes?" Tony shrugged.

"I guess." LJ looked at him curiously. "When you put your lives in each other's hands everyday, trust each other to have your six, you're closer than blood. Our team are like family, we all have each other's backs." LJ nodded she had seen that in the time she'd spent with them.

"Then please trust her to deal with this however she sees fit." Tony chuckled quietly.

"You sure you're not a Ziva clone?" LJ laughed before shaking her head.

"Nope, I have a belly button. Maybe you should ask Ziva though, hmm?" Tony chuckled before following her in and shutting the door behind him with his hip.

* * *

"Not gonna fight Ziva." Gibbs murmured into the phone as he paced the kitchen, leaving everyone else to get settled. Tony silently took Ethan to bed while LJ and Pennie curled up on either end of the couch, both of their noses firmly in books. "Just come home."

"It will do us good Jethro." Ziva sighed, she hadn't even made it out of her car when he had called. She'd merely taken off her seatbelt and leant back into the headrest, ready for whatever was coming her way.

"This is your home Ziva. With me." Ziva closed her eyes.

"I am sorry Jethro, but I cannot stay with you tonight, share your bed, and not worry about whatever it is you are not telling me." She shook her head, running her hand across her forehead gently, her headache from earlier only getting worse. "I shall see you tomorrow morning when I pick Lauren up and we will be spending the entire day together. It is not as if I am hiding from you." Gibbs sighed.

"I love you." He told her quietly, still unhappy at the arrangement but knowing full well she was as stubborn as he was when she'd set her mind to something.

"I love you too." She smiled. "I shall see you in the morning. Have a good evening." He scoffed. "_Try_ then, at least, for me? Do not make your house guests' lives a misery." He chuckled softly.

"I'll try. Goodnight Ziver." They both hung up on a sigh, Gibbs setting about making coffee while Ziva finally made it out of her car and up to her apartment.

* * *

Ziva gently slid the hair tie holding up her ponytail out of her hair the moment her front door was closed. She paused there, leaning against the door, to massage the tension out of her head. Gibbs' mood hadn't been the only thing giving her a headache today but he certainly hadn't helped. She sighed softly before slipping the hair tie onto her wrist and making her way through the apartment straight to her bedroom. She needed a nice long bubble bath, to soak off the stress of her day before she could attend to anything else.

She haphazardly removed each item of clothing, flinging her slacks and bra onto the bed before throwing everything else into the hamper under her window. With another, long suffering, sigh she drew herself a deep, warm bubble bath and, once complete, slipped into the water entirely, simply letting the warm water ease away every knot of tension from within her.

More than an hour and a half, and three top ups, later, Ziva drained the tub and wrapped herself in her fluffiest, warmest towel before climbing into her softest cotton pyjamas and fluffy socks and shuffling into the kitchen in search of something to eat; her next priority.

* * *

She was just putting away everything she had used to make her hot fudge sundae and hot chocolate, she was in one of _those _moods, when her cell rang on the counter. It startled her and instantly put the tension back in her shoulders. She hated that she was reacting like this, knowing that it was more than likely Gibbs, dreading him phoning and starting a fight, or worse, trying to act as if whatever was bothering him, wasn't. She sighed at her self before carefully sucking the chocolate sauce from the side of her hand as she answered her cell with the other.

"Hello?" She asked, her mouth still partially preoccupied with recovering the chocolate.

"Zee-vah?" She immediately smiled, chocolate forgotten, as she listened to Ethan's sleepy pronunciation of her name.

"Hello little man." She smiled, leaning against the counter. "Are you okay?"

"Yup." He replied before yawning adorably, making Ziva's heart melt just a little. "Sleepy time. Mama said that I could say nun-night." Ziva's hand subconsciously landed on her chest as he spoke softly and sleepily.

"Well then, seeing as mama says it is okay." She chuckled as he giggled down the line. "Goodnight little one. I shall see you in the morning."

"Nun-night Zivie. Love you." Ziva's breath caught in her throat.

"I, I love you too, Ethan. Sweet dreams." She heard him kiss the receiver, and had to close her eyes to keep the happy, touched tears at bay, before hanging up.

Ziva stood frozen, the phone still clasped against her ear, for a long moment before she could tear the device away and place it down on the counter. With a small shake of her head, she reached for her dinner, because she absolutely refused to be sensible and grown up and eat something healthy for dinner before her sundae, and curled up under her blanket on the couch flicking through the TV channels until she found some sappy chick flick she would normally avoid like the plague. Tonight, she needed uncomplicated, easy TV and chocolate, lots of it.

* * *

The shrill ringing of her cell phone in the kitchen jolted Ziva out of the peaceful, chocolate filled, semi-conscious state she had drifted into while watching her second sappy film of the night. She begrudgingly pulled back her blanket and stepped quickly over to her cell.

"Hello?" She asked, yawning behind her hand.

"Ziva?" She heard the tears, the terror, in LJ's hushed voice and was immediately fully alert. She looked at the clock above her sink; eleven thirty.

"Lauren? Are you alright? It is late you should be asleep Tateleh. I texted you goodnight two hours ago." LJ sighed as Ziva settled back on the couch, wrapping herself back up. "Tateleh?" She prompted gently.

"I had another nightmare, well not another, 'cause it was the same one again." Ziva sighed softly.

"What happened?" She asked slowly, having no idea if she would tell her or if she was merely calling to distract herself.

"It was dad." She started hesitantly. Ziva leant further against the back of the couch. "He broke into Gibbs' and you tried to stop him but he killed you." Ziva shook her head, squashing her rising anger against Harrod, he wasn't even in it and he was still upsetting her life. "Then, then Gibbs came down the stairs to protect you but he shot him too." LJ swallowed loudly and Ziva longed to hold her. "He, he came upstairs and shot mom and Tony before they even woke up and then came to our room." LJ's voice had started to shake.

"It's okay Lauren, you are safe now." Ziva told her softly, calmly.

"He, he started hitting me and Ethan was screaming and…" She filtered off as she dissolved into almost silent tears.

"Lauren, listen to me okay?"

"Mhmm."

"You are safe. Your father has no idea where you are. McGee has an alert on his cell that tells him if your father comes within three hundred feet of NCIS or Jethro's house and he would send in the cavalry if that alert went off. As for inside the house, Jethro is amazing in those sorts of situations and he would ensure your safety. And Tony, he is an even lighter sleeper than I am when he is on protection detail, which he is currently despite his personal connection to your mother, so him not waking up in time to protect you all is never going to happen." LJ's tears were slowly subsiding so Ziva continued. "And I can be with you in ten minutes if you need me. McGee in fifteen and Abby in five so do not worry Sweetheart, you are safe, and well protected." LJ yawned gently. "Where are you Lauren?"

"In the spare room, Ethan is fast asleep." Ziva smiled.

"Okay, well why don't you lay down hmm and I shall talk to you until you fall asleep yes?" She could hear the shuffling of sheets as LJ did as asked. "Settled?"

"Uh huh." She murmured sleepily.

"Good." Ziva told her all about her evening and how she'd had chocolate for dinner, before retelling the stories from both films. She couldn't have been speaking for more than fifteen minutes when she heard LJ's breathing even out. Ziva smiled softly. "Lailah Tov Tateleh." She whispered before silently hanging up and taking herself to bed, being sure to keep her cell close to hand just in case.


	30. Mixed Emotions

Ziva woke up the next morning and quickly decided to forgo her run; she was feeling the effects of only having chocolate for dinner and was so hungry she actually felt nauseous. She quickly made her way to the kitchen and stood for a moment in the doorway, deciding what to make. After a quick look around her cupboards, barely stocked given how much time she'd been spending at Gibbs' in the last month or so, she decided she could just about stretch to pancakes before having to restock her stores, especially if she was planning on spending any length of time there. She set about making the batter from scratch.

She was just about ready to start cooking when her calendar caught her attention out of her peripheral vision. She paused, mixing bowl still in the crook of her elbow while she stirred mindlessly trying to work out what was missing from the sheet in front of her.

It suddenly hit her and, with a gasp, she unconsciously reached for it, not noticing the fact she had dropped the bowl even as it hit the floor, smashing on impact, spilling batter across the tiles of her floor. Her hands trembled as she pulled back the pages to the month before, and again, desperate to find the marker that should be there.

"No." She breathed as she found the last marker, just over six weeks before today's date. "No, no no." She had been so caught up in being with Gibbs and her heavy work schedule, and then Pennie and the kids, to keep track. Given how this was the first time she had spent more than a few hours in her apartment in nearly two months, she hadn't noticed anything was awry. But now it was all too clear. "I can't be…" She shook her head, refusing to believe what was so clearly before her. Pancakes forgotten, the mess on her floor again going unnoticed, she ran to her bedroom, throwing a sweater and jeans on over her pyjamas before slipping her shoes on and grabbing her car keys. She drove to the twenty four hour pharmacy a few blocks down, knowing she would be silly to jump to, albeit obvious, conclusions before she had tangible proof.

* * *

Ziva perched on the edge of her bath tub, watching the hands on her watch tick by. Not long now. She couldn't stop her hands trembling, nor her leg shaking as it rested on the floor. She was terrified.

This was completely unplanned, they had never talked about having children together, the subject still a sore one for Gibbs. She sighed and ran a nervous hand through her hair. With their current issues at the front of her mind, it was hard to focus on the tiny bead of hope budding somewhere deep inside her.

Being a parent had never been a reachable dream while she'd been in Mossad, but now, settled in America with a good job; a wonderful, albeit unconventional, family behind her; a fabulous partner...it wasn't a completely impossible dream. She'd always thought she might want children one day. She had never seen herself waiting alone for the results though.

In her imagination's version of events, he would be sat there with her, holding her hand, grounding her by whispering how much he loved her, how much he hoped for a positive result, in her ear. She sighed before focusing on the watch face once more. Time. She took a deep breath as she re-read the instructions one last time, stalling just a little longer, before carefully picking up the stick and looking down at the tiny letters, spelling out her fate in one word: pregnant.

* * *

Ziva gasped as she dropped the test into the bathtub beside her. Her shaking hands came to rest in her hair as she paced her tiny bathroom. She wasn't _un_happy by any stretch of the imagination but this was hardly ideal. Before she had even begun to process, her phone vibrated on her dresser.

"David," Ziva answered, shocked and stupidly happy at how level her voice stayed.

"Hi Ziva, it's me." Tony replied quickly.

"Oh, hi Tony." She cleared her throat, quickly slipping into work mode. "Body?" Tony chuckled.

"Not yet. I was just wondering if you were taking Lauren or if you wanted me too?" Ziva looked at her watch before swearing under her breath. Tony chuckled again. "Forget you had work?" Ziva laughed nervously.

"No, just running a bit behind schedule that is all. I will be there in fifteen."

"Okay, that's fine. I'm still trying to get Ethan dressed actually. He's currently in his Spiderman underpants running around to try and avoid us. Speaking of which, two secs." Ziva couldn't help but laugh as she heard Tony scoop the manically laughing toddler up and blow a raspberry on his stomach before turning back to their conversation. "I've gotta go, the toddler under my arm is squirmy." Ziva chuckled. "See you soon."

"Yes. See you soon." She replied, sighing the moment he'd hung up. She'd just have to deal with all this later.

* * *

Ziva pulled her car into the drive way and shut off her engine, taking a moment to collect herself before having to face Gibbs. Now wasn't the time to tell him, when they were in a rush to get to work and in front of an audience, no she would have to wait. This wasn't going to be easy but she had to try and make it as pain free as possible.

The front door opened and Tony waved from the doorway, Ethan secured on his back, thankfully, seeming to be fully dressed bar shoes. Ziva held up her hand in greeting before unclipping her seatbelt and making her way into the house.

"Hey, LJ's just picking which book she's gonna take with her." Ziva smiled as she shook her head.

"Does that girl ever stop reading?" Tony chuckled.

"Nope. She was reading all evening last night. She only stopped to eat her dinner and that was after some persuasion." Ziva sighed softly.

"It is an escape for her. It is understandable." Tony nodded, shifting Ethan's weight gently.

"Say, while you're waiting, can you help me with his shoes? He won't sit still enough for me or his mom to do them." Ziva smiled and quickly retrieved his sneakers from the doorway. With nimble fingers and quick movements she had his shoes on before Ethan had even registered what was going on. Tony chuckled. "Done that before I take it?" Ziva smiled gently.

"Tali." She murmured, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "She would never sit still. My mother had other things to attend to and my father had no patience for her games. I always helped her dress." Tony smiled gently. "I am okay." He nodded.

"I know." They exchanged smiles before LJ and Gibbs came to the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Ziva." LJ called from the bottom step. Ziva went over to join them, stopping in her tracks when she saw Gibbs standing behind her, carefully securing the last tie in her pigtails. He flashed Ziva a smile as he flicked LJ's hair making her giggle. "Gibbs did my hair." Ziva smiled.

"I can see. I was not aware he could." Gibbs smiled leaning in to kiss her softly, gently. He seemed happier this morning and it made her glad.

"I had a daughter once, Zi. Ya learn how to braid hair pretty quick." She smiled before burrowing her head into his broad chest. He only took a moment to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. LJ quickly made herself scarce.

"You all right?" He asked against the top of her head. She nodded slowly.

"I just missed you." She admitted softly.

"Missed you, too." He sighed. "Let's not make a habit of you being gone, all right?"

"Agreed." She promised on a sigh, leaning against him comfortably. She cocked her head to the side and looked up at him searchingly. "You seem...lighter this morning." He gave her a faint smile.

"Had time to think a little." He admitted. Her heart raced. Maybe he was finally ready to talk, she thought hopefully. "Realized you being close to the kids, wasn't that big a deal." A small smile started to form on her face. "Guess I'm just ready for things to get back to normal-ya know, to just us."

"Just ... us," she repeated faintly. Ziva's face fell before she could stop it as a tight fist fit itself around her heart. She couldn't hold back the question burning on her tongue, though she managed to keep her tone curious despite the heartbreak that hid just out of his hearing. Clearing her throat gently, she asked, "You, um...you do not want children?"

"You sayin' I'm not enough for you?" He asked, forcing a teasing tone when his heart felt anything but. She shook her head with a weak attempt at a smile.

"You are." She assured him. "It is just..." Her voice trailed off. Even if she had known the right words, they needed to be alone for this conversation and they certainly weren't that.

"What I had with Kel...having the team now...that's enough for me, long as I have you. And now we have Lauren and Ethan." He smiled, uncharacteristically unaware of her true feelings. Perhaps she was better at acting than she thought-or he was. He kissed her gently before squeezing her hand. "We'd better get going."

She nodded, grabbing LJ's coat from the rack and helping her slip it on when she appeared at her call. She quickly marched them both out to the car and drove away, schooling her features with a capacity she was never more glad she possessed.

This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.


	31. Helping Hand

Author's Note-I wanna thank ZC for all her help on the last chapter and for the proof reading on this one. Without her. this chapter wouldn't even make much sense. Thanks Sweetie. Okay, read, review, enjoy. (and Happy Belated Halloween) NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva pulled out of Gibbs' street and started the drive to the Navy Yard, occasionally looking over at her companion as she leant against the head rest with her eyes closed.  
"Are you tired, Tateleh?" Ziva asked softly. LJ nodded slowly.  
"Didn't get much sleep." Ziva watched her for a moment, dragging her eyes away only when she had to.  
"You were asleep when I hung up." LJ smiled.  
"Yeah. Thank you for that." Ziva shook her head.  
"No need to thank me. I told you; you can talk to me anytime about anything." LJ smiled softly before opening her eyes and watching Ziva drive for a moment. "I would like to ask you a question though, if I may?" The little girl nodded hesitantly. "Tony said that he had to persuade you to stop reading and eat with them yesterday."  
"Y-yeah?" Ziva smiled to her as she pulled the car up to the red light.  
"Just curious Lauren, nothing to worry about." LJ smiled softly, something Ziva reciprocated before continuing. "May ask why that was? We have not had to ask more than once before?" Ziva smiled gently, maternally, at her before dragging her eyes back to the road and pulling off again. LJ cleared her throat gently, dropping her eyes to the book in her lap, determined not to meet Ziva's fleeting gaze. "Lauren?"  
"Yowerntere." She murmured quickly.  
"And in a language I can understand. You do have ten to choose from." Ziva chuckled, determined to keep this conversation light. LJ flashed her a half-hearted smile.  
"You, weren't there." Ziva nodded once, thankful for the first time in her adult life for red lights as she pulled up at the next and turned to the young girl beside her.  
"And that made you not want to eat with everyone?" LJ shrugged.  
"Promise this doesn't get back to Gibbs?" She asked quietly, waiting for Ziva's slightly hesitant nod before continuing. "You just…" She paused, watching Ziva's hand flex as she changed gear and pulled away from the lights again. "You seem to know what to do when Gibbs is distant, or angry, or whatever he was last night. It made me nervous. I haven't had the best of relationships with my male role models and his, _determination_, to not be a part of my and my brother's lives was making me nervous. Don't ask why because I don't know. But you…you _always_ seem to know how to handle him. What to say and when to not say anything. Without you there to, I guess _mediate_, I was worried to eat with him." Ziva nodded softly to indicate that she'd heard and understood before flicking her gaze from the road to LJ.  
"You know…" She paused, trying to order her thoughts in a way that the twelve year old could understand. "Jethro, he, he has had a lot happen to him. Things it isn't my place to tell you, that make him, wary, to get close to you."  
"The daughter he mentioned when he was braiding my hair?" Ziva nodded slowly.  
"Yes. You must not take that, _wariness_, personally. He _is_ trying."  
"I know." She assured her quickly. Ziva smiled.  
"And his mood last night, was more to do with me than you, okay?" LJ looked at her curiously. Ziva sighed. "My and Tony's actions yesterday: bursting into the lab like we did, weapons drawn." She shook her head to herself, quickly tucking her loose curls behind her ear before changing gear. "We violated protocol…and frightened Jethro." LJ's eyes widened just a touch; such a little movement Ziva nearly missed it. "Even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs can get frightened occasionally Lauren. The greatest and bravest of people are still human at the core." She smiled to herself slightly. There was once a time when people would have used those words to describe her, and she was currently terrified of the tiny white stick that was still laid in her bath tub, so she really did know what she was talking about. "He was worried about how we were so quick to forget our own safety when _yours_ was in danger. Jethro loves us very much, the team is his family and I'm his…" She paused, still not quite sure of the identifier she should use. "That was what we argued about, not you." She flashed her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "He was merely asking me to make sure I took my own safety into consideration before running blind into a situation just at the mention of your name." LJ nodded, processing the wealth of information she had just been provided with.  
"I, I think I understand." Ziva smiled quickly. "But, you're…" She cleared her throat nervously.  
"Tateleh?" LJ tucked her chin into her chest before speaking so softly Ziva had to strain to hear it.  
"You're coming home tonight though right?" Ziva felt her heart constrict. She pulled into her parking space in the Navy Yard parking before removing her seat belt and taking Lauren's hand.  
"I have every intention of coming home tonight." She squeezed her hand. She knew what her job was like and the child before her had enough broken promises to even rival her. LJ seemed to accept her answer for the hopeful promise it was and squeezed Ziva's hand back before getting out of the car.

* * *

Almost the moment Ziva and LJ exited the front elevator, in order for Ziva to drop her bag at her desk before escorting LJ down to the lab, Abby grabbed LJ's hand and Tony quickly turned Ziva on the spot and pushed her back into the elevator.  
"What's going on?" They both asked quickly to the people currently manhandling them.  
"Case." Both Abby and Tony replied in synch.  
"I'll explain on the way." Tony elaborated before the doors shut, leaving Abby to take LJ down and confining Ziva in a three by four foot box with her three male colleges, none of them having any idea at the confession trying to creep its way up her throat.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay?" Tony asked quietly as he watched his partner lean against her seat as if it were the only thing holding her up, eyes closed. She nodded against the head rest slowly.  
"I am fine." Tony continued to watch her periodically as he followed behind Gibbs' car to the crime scene, Gibbs reluctantly opting to drive with Tim after Ziva had taken it upon herself to choose and had gotten into Tony's car without a word.  
"You and umm, you and Gibbs still fighting? It seemed better this morning. _He_ seemed better this morning." Ziva smiled very softly.  
"We…" She paused before slowly opening her eyes to watch him for a moment. Tony couldn't control the gasp as he saw tears building, blurring the chocolate of her irises. She shook her head before rolling her head to watch the road race by outside of the window. "We are not fighting." Her voice portrayed none of the shake he had been expecting. He swallowed and turned back to stare out of the windshield.  
"You uh, you wanna talk about it?" He asked hesitantly, receiving only a shake of her head. He nodded just the once before pulling in behind Gibbs as he parked his car and made his way over to their body. "Anytime Zi." Tony murmured, getting out himself, giving her a moment to gather herself before having to be professional.

* * *

Once Ziva had joined them after barely a moment, Gibbs doled out orders, making sure Ziva didn't have to deal with anything too taxing, sensing her unspecified discomfort the moment she had followed Tony out to their crime scene. So, while he and Tim spoke to the first on scene and their only witness, he set Tony and Ziva photographing, sketching and bagging and tagging.

"Y'know, Gibbs is already wondering what's wrong, you're gonna have to tell someone, preferably _him_, soon." Ziva paused half way through photographing their victim-blunt force trauma to the back of the head according to Ducky, who was currently helping Jimmy get the gurney from the truck and then down the slight slope to where they were stood-and straightened to face him.  
"Can we…" She sighed, running a gloved hand through her hair before softening her tone and eyes, knowing Tony was only trying desperately to help her. "Can we talk about this later? I cannot do this here." She shot a subtle but wary look in Gibbs' direction. "Nor can we do this while on this case so…" She trailed off on Tony's nod.  
"Okay, I'll drop it." Ziva shot him a grateful smile. "On two conditions?" She nodded.  
"Okay?" Tony smiled.  
"You tell someone, even if it's not me, if it gets worse?" She nodded quickly, knowing that, excluding anyone finding out before she'd told Gibbs, it wouldn't get worse until she started showing. "And you'll come to after case drinks when we solve this and we'll talk?" Ziva closed her eyes, keeping her emotions in check at his gentle caring tone before nodding gently.  
"Okay." She agreed weakly. Tony smiled.  
"Good." She shot him a quick smile before returning to the task at hand, as did he, just as Gibbs returned.


	32. Sleep and Almost Slip-Ups

Author's Note-Slightly belated I know, but I had a few kinks to work out with this one. My heart goes out to anyone affected by the hurricane and anyone who is still suffering is in my prayers. Also, pre-warning, we are about to enter a more angsty portion of this story so please, heed the warnings provided. They won't be majorly specific but if you have any queries before reading a chapter I will be more than happy to help out over PM any time, okay? Read, review, enjoy NYLF xx

* * *

The case had taken its toll on each of them. Every day saw them there till the wee hours of the morning, following leads to find not only their victim's killer, but also his eighteen year old son who was last seen, by the neighbour, the night before. Gibbs made sure that his agents slept and ate, rather than practically inhaling coffee, but despite his best efforts, the three of them ended up crashing at their desks the three nights of the four day case after chasing leads from eight in the morning until they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer.

Every night, Gibbs left at nineteen hundred, so Pennie could get the kids home rather than making them stay in the lab, and then called every hour to check up on progress and to make sure they were all planning on getting home at some point. Every night they told him they would get home soon, and every night their phones stopped being answered after they had all fallen asleep at their desks.

They found the boy on the Thursday morning, after a gruelling-and slightly illegal-search by Tim, crashing at a friend's house, after fleeing the crime scene. He'd had a fight with his dad and pushed him, unwittingly causing him to fall down the slope and crack his head on a rock at the bottom, thus killing him.

Gibbs interrogated him, and charged him, before returning to the bullpen just in time to see Jenny telling his team that they all looked like crap and that she didn't want to see any of them until Monday.

More than happy to agree, and far too tired to argue, all three agents grabbed their things and, after texting Pennie and gathering her and the children, all headed home.

Almost the moment they got home, Tony and Ziva crashed straight into their beds and slept solidly right through until the Friday lunch time, stopping only to change into something more comfortable.

* * *

Ziva yawned as she made her way down the stairs, hair slung in a low messy ponytail, wearing one of Gibbs' NIS shirts and her sweats. She smoothed her hands through her hair before making her way into the living room. Tony smiled tiredly as he raised the hand, that wasn't wrapped around LJ's shoulders as she leant against him, in greeting. Ziva smiled, both at the adorable scene of LJ snuggled into her partner while she read, and that despite the fact they had slept for over twenty four hours when they had finally gotten home, Tony still looked as completely exhausted as she felt. He nodded towards the kitchen, answering her unasked question, and Ziva flashed him a smile before making her way through.

"Hey there, Sleepyhead." Gibbs smiled, extending his arms to wrap her still sleep warm, pliable body into him. "Feel better?" She nodded against his chest, unsuccessfully trying to suppress a yawn. "You still tired?" She nodded against him languidly. "You can go back to bed for a few more hours if you like? Don't mind." She pulled away just far enough to place a kiss to his t-shirt covered chest.

"I am fine. If I sleep more now, I will not be able to sleep tonight." Gibbs smiled before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Nothing too taxing today though. You still look exhausted." She smiled, breathing him in deeply. "Love you." She nodded, yawning once more before leaning completely against him.

"Are you coming to after case drinks later?" She asked more as a courtesy as his partner than as his colleague, actually expecting him to join them.

"Was thinking of stayin' here."

"Oh?" She asked curiously, noticing the hesitation in his eyes.

"Pen got another text from Harrod this morning. It's throwing her though a loop. Seeing as Tony's going, thought I'd stay here." She nodded slowly. "That okay?"

"Mhmm." She moved her hands to grip his T-Shirt as he laid his cheek against the top of her head.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go back to bed for another hour?" She shook her head against him, yawning as she did. He chuckled.

"I just need breakfast. It will wake me up." Gibbs smiled.

"Well, LJ's been waiting for you and DiNozzo to get up to make pancakes with her." Ziva turned to face the living room, watching with a contented smile as Tony yawned against the young girl while she read aloud, unintentionally reading the grown man the perfect bedtime story. "Coffee?" Gibbs asked softly, pulling her from her reverie.

"No, thank you." She hummed. Gibbs pulled back for a second in shock before holding her tighter.

"You feelin' alright?" He only half joked. She nodded, nuzzling her nose into the soft cotton of his T-Shirt and breathing him in deeply. "It'll keep you up better?" She shook her head with a soft smile.

"I would rather just have pancakes. Coffee has too much caffeine in it." She quickly realised what she was saying while Gibbs chuckled.

"Well yeah, that's why it'll keep you up." She chuckled along with him, putting her acting skills back into practice as she kept her tone light and free from the burden she'd been carrying for nearly a week now.

"I have had more than enough late nights this week to disprove that theory." She didn't tell him how her coffee cup had been filled with decaf, not only because it would be considered sacrilege to him, but also because she couldn't think of an explanation for it other than the truth, which was something she still wasn't ready to address. He smiled softly before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Okay, no coffee. Go, sit. I'll make a start on the batter."

* * *

After a rather productive session of pancake making, during which all three badass armed federal agents ended up doubled over in fits of laughter, covered from head to toe in flour while LJ watched, giggling, from the kitchen counter, and showers all round, Tony went to check on Pennie. She had received the newest contact from Harrod in the early hours, after which she had cried herself hoarse in Tony's arms before kicking him out around nine thirty.

* * *

"Hey Baby." Tony greeted her softly from the doorway. "Can I come in?" Ethan, who was sat beside his mother, patting her head, having woken up from his nap minutes earlier, waved to Tony with his other hand. He returned the wave before coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "Honey? LJ's okay. She doesn't know about the text. She's worried about you but understands that you just need to be alone today. We all made pancakes. We haven't laughed like that in a while." Tony pulled Ethan onto his lap and stroked a lock of fire red hair from Pennie's face, gently tucking it behind her ear. She didn't move from her place staring past him to the wall behind him. "Pen? Talk to me Baby, please." She rolled her eyes to find Ethan's, shooting him a reassuring smile before going back to the wall.

"I…can you take him?" She hesitated while Tony watched her closely.

"What can I do to make this better Pennie?" Tony asked gently, not allowing the helplessness he was feeling into his voice. She shrugged and he sighed, sliding Ethan onto his hip as he rose to his feet. "I'm gonna go to after case drinks with the team tonight, okay? But Gibbs'll be here. If you need me, I can be here in ten minutes. I lo…" He hesitated, now wasn't the time, they weren't ready. "I'll leave you to it, okay?" He leant over and kissed her cheek lingeringly before pulling back slowly. "We'll get him, Pennie. I promise. We'll keep you safe." He slowly left the room, gently setting Ethan down as he reached the bottom of the stairs and watching as he ran off for a moment before grabbing his jacket and heading out of the door. He needed a drink and to calm down before he went after this guy by himself.


	33. After Case Drinks

Author's Note: Hey, okay, I know it's been a week since I last updated but I have only just gotten my laptop back. My internet connection is now fixed though, in case anyone was curious, so we shouldn't have any more problems *fingers crossed*. This chapter is literally just Ziva and Tony, I can almost hear ZC's sigh, but it had to happen so role with it. It's also probably the last one without a warning attached so, enjoy :D NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva entered the bar a few hours later and shrugged off her coat, eyes sweeping the room as she did. Her eyes quickly settled on Tony. He noticed her at the same time and waved her over.

"Hey." He greeted as she slid into the booth opposite him. He sipped at his beer slowly.

"Hey, are you alright?" He nodded.

"Yeah, Pennie's just stressed out of her mind with all the texts she's been getting. We thought it'd be best if she spent the night alone with the kids, y'know?" Ziva nodded. She'd been worried when he'd left without a word earlier but knew better than to follow him, instead spending the day keeping Ethan and LJ entertained and keeping a subtle eye on the bedroom, from which Pennie had barely moved.

"No Abby or McGee tonight?" She asked surprised, they were very rarely the first there on their team nights out. Tony shook his head as he swallowed his mouthful.

"Abby's bowling, and Lilly just got back in town so McGee's meeting her from the airport." Ziva nodded.

"And Palmer?" Tony smiled weakly, looking at her with a grimace.

"Breena's ovulating."

"Yes, well, that's all I want to know about that!" Tony chuckled at the small shudder that fell from his partner.

"Yeah, me too. What about Bossman?" Ziva sighed and rubbed at her temple. "You two fight or something?" She chuckled weakly.

"Or…something." Tony nodded just the once; if she wanted to tell him she would in her own time.

"You driving?" She nodded, resting her hand in her palm, looking rather distracted. Tony quickly grabbed a waitress's attention and ordered a coke for her.

* * *

Nearly five minutes later, with her drink in hand, Ziva was still staring off into the middle distance. Tony decided to grab her attention back. Only he started talking just as she started speaking.

"I can talk to you in confidence right?" Tony sat up slightly straighter.

"Of course. I've said before you can tell me anything." He still sensed her hesitation.

"Even if by 'in confidence' I mean you cannot tell anyone. Not Pennie, not Abby, not even Jethro?" Tony cleared his throat. She was now really starting to worry him.

"Wow. Okay. Sure, what's up?" She sighed and stared down at her glass, running her finger around the rim. He was just about to ask again when she met his eye quickly.

"I…I am pregnant." She murmured softly. Tony was sure if he had of been drinking at the time he would have ended up wearing it: that was not where he had expected this conversation to go.

"Wow." She nodded. "Umm okay. Congratulations?" She smiled weakly, not exactly instilling him with confidence. "And you haven't told Gibbs?" She shook her head, closing her eyes. "Why not?" He asked carefully. She shook her head.

"Jethro does not want any more children." The defeat and sadness in her voice made his heart hurt.

"Ah." She nodded, going back to stare into her drink. "Not so great then?" She shook her head quickly. "How far, umm, _along_ are you?" She shrugged gently.

"I cannot be more than six weeks." He nodded slowly.

"That's still…"

"I know. I am a month and a half along and have not noticed." She gave a quick self-deprecating laugh.

"When did you…?"

"Monday. I noticed I was late and took a test." She laughed quickly, hollowly. "It is actually still in my bathtub." Tony considered that.

"And he doesn't…?"

"No. I asked what he thought about having children, and he made it loud and clear."

"So, what are you…?"

"I have no idea." Her voice wavered slightly on the last word and she took a quick sip of her drink to calm herself. Tony found himself with the very rare urge to have stern words with his boss.

"But you're gonna…?"

"How? How do I tell him Tony?" She turned to him, desperation in her eyes. "This is the last thing he wants."

"How do _you_…?"

"Confused." Tony nodded, that much was obvious. He hesitated, watching her as she struggled to keep her breathing steady and her emotions at bay. He had rarely seen her this emotionally raw.

"Well, do you want…?"

"I have always wanted to be a mother, Tony. Ever since Tali was little." Her reply was almost silent, but it carried more conviction than he'd heard from her in a while.

"What about…?"

"They are not blood Tony, and they are not mine." She shot him a tiny smile. "As soon as this is over they will be going home with their mother."

"But you still…?"

"Of course I love them." Tony smiled. He knew that really. He gently took her hand in his and stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. They sat in silence for a moment before he chuckled, shaking his head.

"You realise we just had…?"

"An entire conversation without you finishing your sentences? Yes." She smiled at him and his doubled. He hated to see her in so much pain and confusion. Her smile was a sight for sore eyes. "What would _you_ do?" Her question was soft and scared.

"If the boss had gotten me pregnant?" Ziva rolled her eyes.

"I am _serious_ Tony." He shook his head.

"I know, I'm sorry, it's a reflex." He watched as her finger traced the side of her glass, more than likely, subconsciously. "A baby's pretty hard to hide Ziva." She sighed. "And I'm not saying I'm against it, in any way, shape or form- it's a completely personal choice- but, could you live with yourself if you terminated?" She shook her head quickly; she'd already thought about and dismissed _that_ option. "Then you _have_ to tell him." She sat back in her seat and rested her head against the back, rolling her suddenly tearful eyes skyward.

"I do not know how." Her voice wavered as she tried to fight the tears. "This is not how I planned it." Tony smiled sadly at her.

"I know."

"He was supposed to be happy." She swiped angrily at the first tear. "We were supposed to be a family. I was supposed to be telling him first and watching his face light up. We were supposed to tell you all together." Tony gently stroked his index finger across the back of her hand as it rested on the table.

"I bet people were supposed to know by now too huh?" She nodded, pressing her lips into a thin line, desperate to hold in the sob that was threatening to make its appearance. "I could be there, if you wanted? When you tell him?"

"You are a good man Anthony DiNozzo." He laughed before sliding to sit next to her. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, clinging to his shoulders as if it would help keep the emotion bottled up.

"Whatever you decide Zi, we'll all be here for you." He gently kissed the side of her head as he held her tight. "I promise."


	34. And Then It All Came Tumbling Down

Gibbs sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Ziva slept on. She hadn't gotten back until late last night after going out to celebrate the end of the case. He knew she hadn't been drinking; she had driven there and back after all, but she seemed burdened. He knew she wouldn't be happy that she'd slept until the mid-morning, a perfectly acceptable time for anyone but her, but he couldn't bear to wake her. The subtle pain lingering in her gaze last night had hurt his heart and he only hoped that letting her sleep until she woke naturally would help to vanquish that. Her eyelids started to flutter, alerting her partner to the fact she was near waking. She stretched her arms high above her head before slowly opening her eyes and finding his. She waved sleepily and he chuckled before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Morning," he mumbled against her skin, the deep octave indicative of the intimacy of the situation.

"Mmm, good morning. What time is it?" She smiled as he pulled back.

"Just after nine." He chuckled as Ziva shot to a sitting position a look of what could only be described as panic crossing her features. "It's Saturday, Ziver; it's okay." She relaxed before leaning back against the headboard. "Was thinking, seeing as you slept all day Thursday, how 'bout we do something today?" She smiled slowly, shyly.

"I, I thought you had forgotten." She dropped his gaze to look down at her hands as they toyed with the sheets.

"Forgotten the seven month anniversary of getting you to agree to be mine? Never." She chuckled before leaning up and holding him close to her chest.

"I love you," she murmured into his shoulder before pressing a kiss to his t-shirt. He squeezed her before pulling away slightly, a questioning look in his eyes. "Jethro I…" Tony appeared in the doorway, halting Ziva's confession.

"Sorry, I'll come back." He shot her a apologising glance but she shook her head.

"No need." She smiled tightly, not sure if she should be relieved or disappointed. "What is it?"

"The kids were wondering if you'd decided yet? About the park?" He directed his question to Gibbs, who nodded before turning to Ziva.

"Beautiful day. Kids were wondering about all of us going to the park for a while. Whadya think? Then maybe we could go out to dinner tonight, just the two of us?" She nodded.

"Sounds perfect. Just let me shower yes, and then we shall get ready?" He nodded, kissing her slowly while Tony made himself scarce. Once they parted, Ziva started to make her way to the bathroom.

"Say, Ziva?" Gibbs called, she paused and turned back to face him. "What were you gonna say?" She shook her head, closing the gap between them to kiss him again.

"Nothing that cannot wait until later." Satisfied, for now, with the answer, Gibbs nodded, kissing her one final time before leaving her to her morning routine to go help get the kids ready.

* * *

Ethan and LJ ran ahead while Tony, Pennie, Ziva and Gibbs all walked through the park, enjoying the early afternoon sunshine. The children's joyous laughter was enough to get Ziva to forget about what she had told Tony and was still to tell Gibbs, fostering her enjoyment of their slightly belated, completely perfect anniversary celebrations before their dinner out that evening.

Tony and Pennie walked, hand in hand, chatting happily, keeping a watchful eye on both of the children, more than confident that LJ had her brother's hand and wouldn't let him fall as they ran.

"Thank you for this, Jethro," Ziva murmured, leaning more tightly into his side where he had his arm slung low around her waist.

"Thank you for the last seven months," he replied, smiling, kissing her temple as he squeezed her side. She smiled softly.

"It has been a pleasure."Gibbs chuckled, dipping his head just enough to capture her lips. They broke apart laughing when they heard Tony mock gagging. "Child!" Ziva laughed at him. Tony merely poked his tongue out at her.

"Ziva run!" Ethan laughed, turning back, pulling his sister with him. Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Yeah come on, Ziva; I bet you can't catch us!" LJ teased.

Tony sighed, knowing exactly where that sentence would get her. Gibbs squeezed Ziva's side, as if granting his permission before she took off running and scooped Ethan off the ground before he'd even had a chance to move. He shrieked with laughter while she blew a raspberry on his stomach, LJ watching on, giggling manically.

* * *

They had been at the park for a few hours. Gibbs watched on, more than happy to observe as Ziva and LJ swung back and forth, talking endlessly about what were the top fifty books they'd ever read, neither being able to scale it down further. Pennie and Tony were taking turns waiting at the bottom of the slide for Ethan, who giggled his way down every time, his reaction having everything to do with Tony's comedic routine.

Gibbs suddenly felt like he was being watched and turned to find the eyes of the man he'd so far never met, but felt like he knew. Shaun Harrod stood, leaning against a nearby tree, watching as the group played and chatted, no one else any the wiser. In the next instant Gibbs' gun was in his hand, trained at Harrod's chest.

"Jethro?" Ziva asked, her attention caught immediately by his movements, bringing him back to earth as he remembered where they were.

"Kids, Pennie, get behind me," he growled.

Tony and Ziva immediately flanked their boss, guns trained on their target while LJ scooped up her brother, holding him into her chest, and stood behind Gibbs, between Tony and Ziva. Tony quickly flicked his gaze to find Pennie; his heart sank as he watched her stand stock still, fear freezing her on the spot.

"Pennie!" Gibbs' call brought her to reality with a bump as she tossed her gaze between Gibbs, Tony and Harrod, the latter of the three having the audacity to chuckle and shake his head at the scene.

"You've got a nice set up here, Pen," Harrod chuckled, meeting each agent's eye before staring Pennie down. "Tell me." He shook his head slowly; removing the gun he'd been concealing from the back of his jeans, and checking it, before aiming it between Gibbs' eyes. "You willing to sacrifice any of them to fight me?"

The threat woke something in the recesses of Pennie's mind, everyone seeing the moment she stopped thinking of her own safety.

"Are you willing to fight three armed federal agents just to have an argument that I will win?" Tony's heart sank further into his stomach as she stepped forward, standing slightly to the left of him, making her the first line of defence but not blocking his shot, knowing full well that despite the fact she'd give her life in a heart beat to protect her children, a speeding bullet wouldn't care for her heroics.

Harrod laughed.

"Fight _them_? Ha. No. My fight is with _you_ Pen. Always has been." He shook his head before taking a single step towards the group. "Doesn't have to be this way though." Six plus foot and at least two hundred pounds of pure muscle, it was neither hard to see why she had fallen for him, nor why she was now so terrified of him. "Just hand over my kids and we can all get on with our lives."

Behind the wall of adults, LJ gulped loud enough to make Ziva's heart skip a beat.

"Your kids? Really, Shaun? You gave up the right to be their father a long time ago." Pennie spat, hands clenching at her sides, knowing the wrong move here and she could get someone she cared about seriously hurt.

"I'm their _father!" _Harrod hissed, steam practically pouring out of his ears.

"You aren't their father Shaun! You're a _monster!" _ She shook her head again. "They are better off without you."

Harrod growled, moving the gun to the right, the barrel now pointed squarely at Ziva's chest.

"I'm the monster? You're the one who took two kids away from their father."

LJ set Ethan on the ground, whispering something in his ear, to which he nodded, before standing beside Ziva.

"She did what was best for us." Her voice wavered gently, but it was clear and strong. "She's right. You are a monster."

"Lauren, get behind me." Ziva hissed, her eyes never leaving Harrod's.

"How can you stand there and tell my mother, you _wife,_that she is the monster when you laid your hands on your twelve year old daughter?" Harrod watched as LJ took two steps towards him. "Men who hit women are cowards."

Gibbs flicked his gaze between the young girl and her father, knowing both that nothing he could say would stop her and that she was putting herself in immense danger.

"_You're_ a coward." She shook her head slowly, suppressing her fear to say what she had wanted to for months. "You were the monster under Ethan's bed. The figure that haunts my nightmares. I don't think you even care what you have done to you _children!"_She lost her composure on the last word, tears spilling over her eye lashes as her voice rose an octave and a decibel.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that Lauren!" Harrod raged. "I am your father!"

"Not when you're like this you aren't!" LJ screamed.

In one movement, one no one had the time to stop, Harrod had LJ by the throat. Pennie screamed while Ziva immediately dropped into a fighting stance, her gun holstered, confident in the fact she was at least as deadly with her hands. If she fired a shot, she risked hitting LJ. That was a risk she wasn't willing to take.

LJ had both of her hands around Harrod's wrist desperately pulling him back as oxygen became an urgent priority. Just as she was about to lose consciousness, the darkness pulling her in, Ziva ran at Harrod.

He threw LJ to the floor, Pennie, Gibbs and Tony all wincing as her head bounced.

Ziva had Harrod in hand-to-hand combat the moment his hand was free, fighting hard to disarm him, knowing that now she'd started this would only end with one of them unconscious, her backup lost for the same reason that she'd chosen to fight for Lauren with her hands instead of her gun. If Tony or Gibbs fired now, they had a good chance of hitting her instead of Harrod, and both cared about her too much to take the chance.

All at once, a single gun shot was fired and Ziva hit the ground.

* * *

Author's Note-*ducks*


	35. Chaos

Author's Note: Warnings time. Graphic Warning-Injuries or Illnesses Described In Graphic Detail, Tissue Warning-The Content Of The Chapter May Make Some Readers Cry, Character In Peril Warning-At Least One Character Is Put In Peril In The Chapter Resulting In Serious Injury Or Death. Read and review please :) NYLF xx

* * *

Before Ziva had even had the chance to hit the ground, Gibbs had fired a bullet into Harrod's skull. He ran forward and carefully rolled Ziva onto her back, searching meticulously for entry wounds. Murmuring a silent prayer when he found none, he carefully smoothed her hair off of her face while dialling 911, and then Tim, with his free hand.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tony felt the air beside him move almost the second the bullet left Harrod's chamber and, on instinct, turned to find out why. He saw thin air where Pennie had been stood moments before and immediately his gaze was drawn to the floor. He sank to his knees as quickly as gravity would take him and went onto autopilot; quickly fusing his hands to the middle of Pennie's chest in an attempt to staunch the blood flow from the bullet wound. She stared up at him, her eyes already dimming.

"T-Tony." She croaked. It was enough to draw Tony back into the moment. He leant forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, it's all gonna be okay." She rolled her head to find Ethan, Tony following the gaze to watch as the toddler stood exactly where his sister had left him, eyes scrunched shut, his hands covering his ears. Tony silently thanked a still unconscious LJ for having the foresight of protecting her brother from this, neither conscious adult needing to also deal with a screaming child. "Pennie, everything's gonna be okay. You just need to hold on for me okay? The ambulance is on its way, everything's gonna be fine now, just hold on." He murmured desperately. Pennie smiled slowly, weakly, before lightly glancing his hand with her own.

"You…" She was interrupted by a violent, wet coughing fit, tilting her head in time to stop her aspirating the blood that spurted from her mouth. "You know, I love you, right?" Tony opened his mouth to reply but Pennie's eyes slipping shut stole the words from his throat. He pressed harder into her chest, desperate to stop her blood from flowing through his hands.

"No, come on! Wake up Pennie you're stronger than this! Your kids need you!" All the fight left his voice as tears brimmed his eyes. "I, I need you."

* * *

Sirens filled the air as backup arrived. Paramedics raced to Tony's side first, quickly assessing that Pennie was the one most in need of assistance. In the few seconds it took Tony to tell them what happened, she was on a stretcher and in the back of an ambulance, speeding her way to the hospital, Tony never leaving her side.

* * *

Meanwhile, ignoring the commotion going on around them, Lilly and Tim went to LJ's side.

"LJ? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?" Tim asked gently, carefully resting his hand on her shoulder and rolling her onto her side to face him. She murmured softly before opening her eyes. They took slightly too long to focus before finding his.

"McGee?" Tim smiled.

"Hey Honey. How you feeling?" Panic suddenly filled the young girl's eyes. "What's up?"

"Ethan?" Tim looked up to find the toddler, still stood exactly where his sister had left him.

"Lills?" Lilly's eyes stopped darting around the scene and found his. "His name's Ethan. He's three." Tim nodded towards the young boy. Lilly nodded and squeezed his hand before quickly going over to kneel next to Ethan.

She gently touched his shoulder, visibly making him jump before his hands fell from his ears and he stared up at her, tears swimming in his eyes.

"Hello Ethan." Lilly smiled. "My name is Lilly, I'm McGee's friend." She told him softly. "May I pick you up? We need to get you out of here Baby." Ethan shook his head rapidly. "Why not?"

"Lauren said 'Efan, stay here, don't move, hands on ears, eyes shut'." Lilly smiled.

"Lauren has said I'm allowed to come get you." He hesitated once more.

"Stranger danger." He muttered. Lilly smiled softly.

"But we introduced ourselves; we aren't strangers anymore are we?" She could see the trepidation but he shook his head all the same. "And McGee is just there." She turned around, making him follow her finger to where Tim was crouched, helping LJ tell paramedics what was wrong with her, but carefully blocking out the rest of the scene. Ethan's bottom lip trembled. "So, can I pick you up? We will go back to NCIS yeah? We'll go play for a little while okay?" Ethan nodded, lip trembling, as he lifted his arms out to her. Lilly quickly lifted Ethan onto her waist and tucked his face into her chest before taking quick steps towards her car. In under a minute, she had him strapped into the car seat in the back and the door shut before going back to Tim's side.

"He okay?" Tim asked, slightly distractedly as he helped LJ onto a stretcher. He let the paramedics strap her in while he turned to face Lilly, running a frantic, nervous hand through his hair.

"He's as okay as can be expected. I'll take him back to NCIS; someone will be in to look after him right?" Tim nodded.

"Yeah. Abbs'll probably be in the lab. Take him to her, he knows her." Lilly nodded, before quickly throwing her arms around his neck. "Hey, you okay?" He asked, securing one hand at the base of her back while the other gently smoothed down the French braid her light chocolate hair was pulled into.

"Please be careful." She murmured into his neck. Tim squeezed her gently.

"I always am, you know that." She nodded against him. "I need to go with LJ to the hospital." She nodded again.

"I know, I'll meet you there." Tim shook his head.

"Lills you don't…" She pulled back, her gorgeous sapphire blue eyes entrancing his own, despite the moisture pooling in them.

"I will meet you there." She told him firmly. Tim smiled and kissed her gently.

"I love you." She smiled.

"I love you too. I'll look after Ethan, go take care of LJ. I'll see you soon." He kissed her again quickly before climbing into the back of the ambulance and taking LJ's hand while Lilly quickly got into her car and headed to NCIS.

* * *

The next set of paramedics went to Ziva.

"Sir, we need you to back away so we can get her to the hospital." Gibbs refused to let go of Ziva, her petite hand encased in both of his. "Sir?"

"Not leaving her." He growled, never looking up from her as she lay before him, another paramedic already attaching an oxygen mask to her face.

"Fine. Just let us get her into the ambulance and you can ride with her." Gibbs hesitated but nodded, dropping her hand only so long as it took them to get her into a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance before encasing her hand again and holding on for dear life, praying to everyone he could think of to let her be okay.

* * *

"Come on Pennie, hold on Baby." Tony urged as he sat in the back of the ambulance, holding her hand tightly while a paramedic kept the pressure on her chest.

They were only minutes away from the hospital when the machines around him started going haywire.

"What's happening?" Tony demanded even as the paramedic started chest compressions as he screamed for his partner to hurry up, that she was crashing, that she wouldn't last long. Tony's heart sank into his stomach. "Please hold on Baby, _please_!"

If he hadn't of been holding onto her hand quite so tightly he would have missed it, but as it were, he felt the tiny movement as Pennie squeezed his hand before the machines' manic pulsing beat dropped to one long monotonous tone.

Tony felt his heart trip in its own rhythm and he could feel the moment the life dropped from her body. Tears welled in his eyes as he carefully placed her hand back onto the stretcher before sitting back, knowing in his heart of hearts, despite the paramedic who was still working on her, still trying to reignite the spark of life within her, that she was gone.

* * *

Author's Note-*runs and hides*


	36. Eye Of The Storm

Author's Note-Mild Tissue Warning, no other warnings to my knowledge. Also, Fantasygeek101, my updating pattern during the last few chapters has been deliberate :D. Read and review please NYLF xx

* * *

Seconds before the ambulance parked at the hospital doors, the paramedic called it, pronouncing Pennie dead. The moment the announcement was complete, Tony wrenched the now stationary ambulance's doors open, and managed to make it as far as the nearest trash can before being sick. He sank to the floor, leaning heavily against the can before the paramedic that had tried so desperately to save Pennie helped him up and sat him on one of the benches, returning moments later glass of water in hand. He left shortly after, not expecting or receiving a word from Tony.

* * *

Ziva was rushed straight into emergency, the paramedics and swarming doctors, recognising that Gibbs wouldn't leave, simply ignored him, only speaking to him when he was in the way. After some less than gentle persuasion he agreed to wait outside the door of the treatment room so long as the medical staff agreed he could come back in the moment they had her stable and settled. The agreement made and set, Gibbs paced the corridor outside her room, still praying to a 'god' he'd long stopped believing in that she would be okay. She had to be.

* * *

In paediatrics, given how LJ was conscious and relatively alert, things were a lot calmer. LJ was rolled into a private treatment room, Tim, only slightly falsely claiming to be family, by her side. Apart from a rather nasty cut on her cheek, requiring thankfully only butterfly stitches, and a mild concussion, she was unharmed. Tim sighed in relief once she'd been thoroughly checked over and was given an otherwise clean bill of health. She'd have to stay in over night for observation, but it was a small price to pay in Tim's mind.

* * *

While everyone else was arriving at the hospital, Lilly parked in Tim's spot at the Navy Yard and unbuckled a still close to tears and trembling Ethan from the car seat and hoisted him onto her waist before entering the building and stopping before the guard on duty.

"Can we help you, Miss?" The young-ish man asked politely. Lilly smiled before carefully adjusting Ethan to hold him closer just as the tears made their appearance.

"Hi, I was wondering if Abigale Sciuto was available." The guard picked up the phone and dialled the lab before holding his hand over the receiver while he waited for an answer.

"And your name?" He asked gently, studiously ignoring the toddler's almost screamed cries as he buried himself further into Lilly's shoulder.

"Lilly Grover. I'm Agent Timothy McGee's partner." The guard smiled, the MCRT was famous, no one in the building hadn't heard of them.

"_Labby_." Abby's cheerful voice came across the line before the guard pressed it to his ear.

"Hello Ms Sciuto, I have a Miss Grover here, wanting to see you. Says she's Agent McGee's partner. Has a young boy with her." Lilly could hear the excited tones and inflections of Abby's voice but not the words. After a few 'mhmm's and nods of his head, the guard thanked Abby and put down the receiver. He them beckoned over an agent who couldn't be far off Lilly's twenty nine years. After a very quick exchange between the men, the guard turned to Lilly. "This is Agent Jones; he'll escort you to the lab." Lilly smiled thankfully before soothingly hushing Ethan.

"Thank you." The guard shook his head.

"Pleasure to have met you, Miss Grover." She smiled and raised her hand in a wave before following Agent Jones into the elevator.

* * *

Lilly stepped out of the elevator, thanking her escort but making no apology for Ethan's crying. Abby came running out of her office the moment the doors had opened enough for her to hear the little boy's distress.

"Ethan? Oh, Little One, what's the matter?" Ethan held out his arms to her and Abby quickly gathered him up, Lilly offering no resistance. "What happened? Why are you here? Where's McGee? Is everything okay?" Abby fired questions at Lilly before noticing just how pale and quite frankly terrified the young woman looked. "Are _you _alright?" Lilly nodded, a tight smile curling her mouth.

"I'm not exactly sure what happened. Gibbs called Tim while we were at his and told him to meet him at the park. Once he had hung up I asked if he had to go, presuming it was a case." Lilly hesitated, her brow furrowing as she remembered the day, the way Tim's hands had trembled as he put the phone in his pocket. "Tim said there was something in his voice that told him it wasn't work, asked if I'd come with him. He was scared, asked if I could drive, and told me along the way that Gibbs was with his step daughter and her children today." Abby gently touched Lilly's arm and led her over to a stool, encouraging her to sit while she reached for 'Mini Burt' a smaller version of the original she'd brought for Ethan just a few days before, and gave it to him, who snuggled it close, his tears slowly dissolving into hiccups. "There were three ambulances there when we arrived. LJ was unconscious, another young woman, I don't know her name, she was too, the man I presume to be Gibbs was holding her hand."

"Ziva." Abby provided. "Young, tanned, dark curly hair?" Lilly nodded. "That's Ziva."

"She was unconscious and a third woman, I'm guessing Pennie off Tim's description of her, she'd been…" Lilly swallowed nervously. "She'd been shot. A man beside LJ and Ziva was dead." Abby gasped, knowing almost immediately what had transpired.

"They're all at the hospital?" Lilly nodded.

"Tim asked me to bring Ethan to you; he knows you and we had to get him out of the situation." Abby smiled.

"Yeah, he's good at controlling the situation like that." Abby shook her head before going to her desk and dialling her phone. "I have to let the director know."

"Let me know what?" Jenny appeared in the door way, file in hand, and looked from her forensic scientist to the young boy in her arms to the new face, worry etched deeply in the eyes of both woman and immediately crossed her arms, professional and protective modes warring within her. "Tell me everything."

* * *

Tim found Tony in the waiting room on Ziva's floor just over an hour later. He hesitated for a moment before sitting beside him, being sure to leave a seat between them. He didn't need to be crowded.

"How umm…" Tim paused, not quite sure how to ask the question. "Pennie?" Tony shook his head, swallowing tears, not looking away from the ceiling tile he'd been staring at for the last half hour. Tim nodded. "I'm, I'm sorry Tony, I know how much she meant to you." He hesitated before gently squeezing Tony's shoulder. Tony nodded again. "You, you heard from Gibbs?"

"He uhh…" Tony cleared his throat, pressing through the lump to talk. "He came out about thirty minutes ago, just for a second." Tim nodded. "She's pretty banged up."

"What's wrong with her?" Tony rolled his eyes to find Tim's while sitting back in his chair.

"Couple of cracked ribs, bad concussion, fractured cheek bone, the full rainbow of bruises. He hit her hard, she went down harder." Tim winced.

"Jesus. How's Bossman taking it, I know what he's like when we get hurt?" Tony shrugged.

"Hasn't left her side." There was a long awkward pause as Tim tried to determine if he should ask.

"He know about about Pennie?" Tony opened his mouth to talk but quickly closed it, tears burning the back of his eyes.

"He knows. I'm sure. He just has to concentrate on Zi." Tim nodded before leaning against the wall beside him. "How's LJ?" Tim sighed softly.

"Pretty good all things considered. She's got a mild concussion and a nasty cut on her cheek from where her head hit the ground and she'll have a wonderful hand print bruise around her neck for a few days, but she's okay. Emotionally, she's a wreck, but that's to be expected. She's asleep at the moment, doc's think she'll be out for a while, wanna keep her in over night for observation." Tony nodded.

"And Ethan?"

"Lilly took him to Abby. She says she's gonna meet me here in a bit." Tony nodded.

* * *

"Any of the team hurt?" Jenny asked once Abby had finished relaying what Lilly had said. Ethan had cried himself to sleep in Lilly's arms as she paced back and forth, not even she sure if it was to sooth him or her own worry making her do so.

"Ziva was unconscious when Lilly left to bring Ethan here, I don't know how badly she's hurt." Jenny nodded. "Director, Gibbs won't leave her." Jenny nodded.

"I know Abby. This team is a family; you all look out for each other." Jenny noticed something in Abby's eyes that worried her. "What aren't you telling me Abbs?" Abby shook her head quickly. "Abigale?" Abby shuddered.

"Ooh full name, I _am_ in trouble." Lilly flashed her a reassuring smile. "Ziva isn't just 'family' to Gibbs Director." Recognition flashed in Jenny's eyes but Abby clarified all the same. "They've been together for seven months." Jenny's jaw went slack.

"Did you know about this the whole time?" Abby shook her head quickly.

"No ma'am. Ziva only told me a few days ago." Jenny nodded.

"Okay. I'll send Ducky to go collect Mr Harrod, are you going to the hospital?" Abby nodded. "Okay, Miss Grover?" She turned to Lilly. "Are you okay to take Ethan?" Lilly hesitated.

"Not to tell you what to do or anything ma'am, but is the hospital really a place for a three year old? Given that LJ is just a child she will probably have to stay the night and if Ziva is hurt nearly as badly as she looked to be, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was too." Jenny nodded, running her hand across her forehead.

"You're right, of course you are." She sighed before Abby raised her hand. "Yes, Abby?"

"Why don't I go to Gibbs', take Ethan, spend the night? Lilly, McGee will need you." Lilly nodded. "And Ethan knows me. Plus, Director, won't you want to oversee this case?" Jenny sighed.

"Okay, Abby, good idea, take Ethan, get the poor boy home. Lilly and I will go to the hospital." Lilly nodded, passing Abby Ethan and grabbing her car keys. Jenny and Lilly both left quickly while Abby carefully shut off her machines and made her way to Gibbs'.

* * *

Author's Note-*hiding until you all stop hating me or at least until smush68 puts away her gun*


	37. Home Time

Jenny and Lilly swept into the waiting room, both pausing the moment they saw the two male agents sat side by side, tears streaming down Tony's face while Tim spun his cell end to end in his hands. Lilly quickly closed the gap before slowly, so as not to startle him too much, laying her hand on Tim's shoulder. He jumped and looked up before immediately standing and embracing her tightly.

"Hey." She soothed gently. "How is she?" Tim took a moment just to breathe her in before pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"LJ's okay. Mild concussion cuts and bruises. They're keeping her in overnight for observation." She nodded against him, fingers trailing soothingly through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He lifted his head to gently kiss her cheek before untangling himself and going to stand beside Jenny who was almost pulling off casual as she leant against the wall beside the door. "Director." Tim greeted. Jenny smiled hesitantly.

"Who?" She didn't need to elaborate. The look on Tony's face said it all.

"Pennie." Jenny nodded, guilt threatening to drown her as she felt relief flood her system at the news it wasn't one of her own.

"Ziva, Jethro?" Tim's face fell as he ran a weary hand across his face.

"Zi's still in there. He cracked a couple of her ribs, fractured her cheek bone, and gave her a grade three concussion. She's covered in bruises." Jenny gulped. "Gibbs hasn't left her side."

"Yes, well, would you leave Lilly's?" Tim looked back at her in confusion, not following the parallel. You could see the moment he got it.

"I, I didn't know." Jenny turned curious eyes on him.

"How? You work with them all day." Tim chuckled self-deprecatingly.

"I knew she was happier than I'd ever seen her. Never twigged it was Gibbs is all." Jenny nodded just the once in understanding. "And no." She looked confused again. "I wouldn't leave her side."

* * *

It was several hours later when Gibbs finally emerged, his eyes bloodshot, tear tracks no one would ever mention coating his cheeks. Tony was asleep, slumped in the hospital chair, murmuring Pennie's name every few minutes, obviously dreaming about her. Tim and Lilly were sat a few chairs down, one of Tim's hand resting on the curve of her waist, the other stroking her hair almost absentmindedly as she slept, her head nestled safely in his lap. Jenny rose to greet her old friend as he entered the room.

"How is she?" She asked mutedly, very aware of the two sleeping adults in the room. Gibbs shrugged.

"Asleep." Jenny nodded as they sat opposite the others.

"And physically?" She knew pressing him was a sure fire way to get him to shut down but she had to know, both as Ziva's boss and her friend, but mostly in this instance, friend was winning.

"He beat her pretty bad. None of us could stop it. We'd of hit her." Jenny nodded again slowly. "They think she should be fine to come home tomorrow, nothing majorly wrong, but she'll hurt like hell for a few weeks."

"You needn't worry. I'm taking your team out of rotation. With one agent with cracked ribs and another in no fit state to work, it's not worth asking you to work like that." Gibbs sighed.

"I couldn't save Pen either. Didn't even know she was down." Jenny gently took his hand in both of her own.

"Ziva was your priority, as your agent and your girlfriend. It is understandable." If Gibbs was shocked she knew, he was very good at hiding it. "There will have to be an investigation. A civilian in our protective custody gets shot by the person we're protecting her from, it doesn't look good."

"I don't care how it looks Jen." Gibbs voice hardened but didn't get any louder, his agents needed their rest. "My step daughter's dead, leaving behind two kids, and Ziva's beaten half way to hell. I don't care about bureaucracy and politics." Jenny shook her head.

"I know. I will keep everything as far away from you and yours as I can. The only thing I'll need is statements but there isn't a rush on those. You concentrate on your team, let me deal with the bureaucracy and politics." Gibbs nodded before removing his hand from hers and running both his hands through his hair. "It's okay." Gibbs sighed, cradling the crown of his head in both hands.

"When I get her home, when she stops wincing every time I touch her, when she stops damn _crying in pain, _then it'll be okay." Jenny sighed as she leant into the wall behind her head.

"Try to rest Jethro, she'll need you at your best tomorrow."

* * *

Gibbs quietly made his way back into the waiting room just after seven after checking on Ziva and going on the hunt for decent coffee, not the hospitals' poor imitation of. He carefully put a takeaway cup in front of Jenny before going over to his agents. He placed another cup on the chair next to Tony before sitting beside Tim. The young agent had clearly not been awake long but he smiled at his boss and accepted the coffee he gave him before Gibbs put the last one on the floor in front of a still sleeping Lilly.

"Thanks boss." Gibbs nodded. "How's Ziva?" Gibbs sighed.

"Still asleep, black and blue with bruises." Tim shook his head as he gently ran his hand across Lilly's side. "You alright to handle LJ? I'll need to be with Ziva." Tim nodded.

"Course boss. Me and Lilly will go get her discharged in a bit and make sure she gets home safely. Abbs is already there with Ethan so if you need me to come back and pick you up…?" Gibbs shook his head.

"Nah, I'll drive her, Director grabbed my car last night." Tim nodded. Gibbs got up to go back to Ziva's bedside before hesitating and turning back to flash Tim a small smile.

"Thanks Tim." Tim smiled softly.

"No problem boss."

* * *

Lilly carefully helped LJ lower herself into the wheelchair while Tim filled out the necessary forms for her discharge.

"So you're McGee's girlfriend huh?" LJ asked quietly. Lilly smiled as she watched Tim at the desk.

"Yeah." LJ smiled gently.

"It's nice to meet you, and yet terrible that we had to meet in such a way." Lilly sighed before crouching before the young girl who had never looked so small.

"I won't lie to you and tell you you'll get over this, because I don't think that's fair, and I also have a feeling you'll see right through it." LJ smiled quickly, half-heartedly. "So I'll simply tell you this. It _will_ get less hard. It _will_ get less painful. You _will_ eventually get to a place where you don't mind carrying it around with you. You have a good family behind you in this team, and they will all love and cherish you forever." LJ's chin trembled and Lilly quickly encased her and held her tight. "It doesn't go away, but it gets better." Tim made his way over and gently laid his hand on Lilly's shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

"You ready to go kiddo?" He asked as Lilly pulled away. LJ nodded. Lilly slowly pushed LJ through the hospital before both she and Tim helped her into her car and took her home.

* * *

Gibbs signed the appropriate forms before returning to Ziva's side.

"You okay?" Ziva nodded slowly.

"Just hurts to breathe." She smiled weakly, Gibbs returned it.

"Yeah, three cracked ribs'll do that." She squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's get ya home. I'll put ya to bed and you can rest."

"We have not even left the hospital and you are already propositioning me?" Gibbs chuckled.

"Glad to see you sense of humour's still in tact." She chuckled before wincing, gently holding her rib cage.

"Ow." It was soft, he wouldn't of heard it if he hadn't been right beside her, but it was still enough to make his heart drop.

"Okay, home." She smiled softly before nodding and Gibbs quickly took her through the corridors before lifting her into the passenger seat and strapping her in, leaving a kiss on her forehead before shutting her door and getting in the other side.

* * *

Author's Note-Do I still need to hide or can I come out now?


	38. Dead, Wounded, Breaking and Broken

Author's Note-There's a lot of grief in this chapter so I'm giving it a tissue warning. Read and review NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs gently lowered Ziva onto the bed before carefully laying the ice-pack over the bruise that had blossomed on her chest. She winced.

"I know this hurts Honey, it'll feel better soon." She whimpered as the full weight of the pack settled on her skin, putting pressure on her ribs, and Gibbs quickly placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know Ziver." Her breathing was shallow as she tried to not aggravate her ribs further. "I'm gonna go check on the kids, are you gonna be okay?" She nodded slowly. "Okay, call if you need me." He pressed her cell into her hand, knowing she wouldn't have the energy to yell for him, before kissing her forehead and leaving her to rest.

* * *

Gibbs stopped in the living room doorway and took in the sight before him. Tony was sat in front of the couch, Ethan on his lap, his arm around LJ as she leant against him, sobbing into his shoulder. He watched as silent tears fell from his agent as he tried to comfort the children he barely knew. His heart broke just a little more. Tony caught his eye before turning into Lauren. He murmured condolences into her hair and Gibbs swallowed hard before leaving the room. He couldn't watch any more.

* * *

He'd been violently sanding his boat for more than two hours when the stairs creaked. He looked up to find Tony, hesitating.

"You okay Tony?" Gibbs asked gently. Tony was halfway to nodding before deciding otherwise. With a shake of his head he descended the rest of the stairs and sat on the bottom one, leaning against the wall and facing into the basement. Gibbs poured them both a finger of bourbon but Tony shook his head when he offered his to him.

"If I start drinking now, I'll never stop, and those kids need me to be lucid." Gibbs nodded before putting both the glasses back on the bench. "I know it's not the same but…" Tony trailed off, suddenly uncertain. Gibbs sighed before leaning against the bench, facing his best agent.

"You don't. It's not something you can 'get over'. You just get on." Tony nodded before dropping his head into his hands.

"I never got to say it back." He murmured. Gibbs crossed the room and pulled him into a hug.

"She knew it. Trust me." Tony sobbed into Gibbs' shoulder for several minutes before the door at the top of the stairs opened.

"Gibbs?" LJ asked quietly. Tony immediately withdrew and wiped his eyes with his back to her while Gibbs ascended the stairs to meet her.

"What's up?" Gibbs asked gently.

"I walked past your bedroom when I went to the bathroom and I think Ziva was crying." Gibbs squeezed her shoulder before taking off up the stairs, stopping only long enough to collect a glass of water and her pain medication. "Tony?" LJ's voice was quiet and breaking. Tony turned to face her.

"Yes Sweetie?" He smiled.

"You're not gonna leave us too, are you?" He had never heard her sound so frightened. He climbed the stairs before kneeling before her. He gently took her face in his hands and looked her dead in the eye, trying to ignore the tears almost drowning the ice blue of her irises.

"I'm not gonna leave you LJ. I will do everything in my power to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." She gulped back a sob before holding onto his wrists with trembling hands.

"Promise?" He pulled her into a hug and held her tight as she started sobbing into his neck again.

"Oh Honey, I promise. I promise."

* * *

Gibbs opened his bedroom door and watched as Ziva slept. Apparently she had cried herself back to sleep and was now breathing, slightly shallower than normal, but deep enough to tell him she was fast asleep. He smiled. Sleep was her best option right now.

The entirety of her torso was covered in fist sized bruises and the left side of her ribcage was basically one large bruise. She was lucky not to have developed two black eyes, only the right one having been blackened by the fracture in her cheekbone. Gibbs sighed.

She still looked gorgeous though. Despite her injuries, despite the fact she still winced anytime he, or anyone else-medical professional or otherwise- got within arms length of her, she was still so beautiful.

He watched her sleep for a little while longer before putting the glass and bottles on the bedside table on her side and carefully prying her cell from her hand, putting it beside them. She shifted, whimpering slightly in her sleep. Gibbs' heart ached for her. He pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead and smoothed down her hair before crouching next to her.

"I'm sorry Ziva." He murmured gently, covering her hand with his own. "Shouldn't have let him this close. Should have down more to protect ya, Pennie as well." He sighed. "I love you so much. If there is anything I can do to make this better Zi, tell me. I'll do it. Know this hurts like hell, know it will for a good few weeks, but I'll look after ya. You're safe here, won't let no one hurt you here." He stood before bending to kiss her temple gently, lingeringly. Once he pulled away she rolled her head to find him, her eyes rolling slightly when she opened them.

"Jethro?" She croaked. He smoothed her hair back gently, leaving his hand against her forehead.

"I'm here Ziva. Try to get some rest. I'm here." She nodded languidly.

"The baby…" She murmured. He smiled to himself, despite the fact she was laid in bed, in so much pain, she was still caring about others.

"He's fine. They both are. Tony's got them. They'll get through this, we'll help them. Ethan's a tough kid and LJ's sharp as a tack. They'll be fine." He kissed the tip of her nose softly, before pressing one last kiss to her forehead. "Love you."

"Mhmm." She hummed before falling asleep once more. Gibbs silently left the room, leaving the door cracked enough to let in some light from the hallway and so he could hear her if she called. He sighed softly to himself before making his way back downstairs. He'd get the kids to eat something and maybe convince LJ to take a nap with her brother. He'd then bunk on the couch, or in the basement, he couldn't risk hurting her unintentionally in his sleep. Sighing once more and shaking his head at himself, and the situation, he made his way back downstairs to support his agent, his friend, in his own grief and helping those kids through theirs.

* * *

Author's Note-I'm just gonna go...over there...and hide. Kay?


	39. It Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Author's Note-Tissue Warning! You Will Hate Me Warning! This Is Only The Beginning Warning! Please be polite in your hatred when reviewing. Thanks. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva woke up gasping in pain shortly after four the next morning. Her hand clasped tight against her stomach, she pulled back the covers to get out of bed before stopping mid action. All the colour drained from her face as she saw the blood staining her pyjama bottoms that Gibbs had helped her change into before bringing her home.

"No." She whispered to thin air. "Please no." Moving on autopilot, she got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She changed quickly and took her bloody clothes down with her to put straight into the machine before grabbing her jacket, phone and car keys. The pain in her ribs didn't even register as she drove herself to the hospital, praying to every deity she could remember for some chance that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Ziva stood against the hospital wall facing the car park an hour or so later. Her hands trembled as she found the number she knew only too well and pressed the call button, waiting for the screen to change before holding the phone to her ear.

"'Nozzo." His sleepy voice trickled down the line and she slumped further into the wall behind her. "'Lo?" She drew a shaky breath. He sighed and moved to hang up, spurring Ziva into action.

"Hi Tony." She cursed herself silently at how violently her voice trembled.

"Ziva?" He asked confusedly and she heard his sheets move as he moved to sit up in bed. "What's wrong?" The sleep was already fading from his voice as he became more aware of his surroundings and the situation. "Where are you?" She drew another shaky breath, suppressing the sob bubbling in her chest.

"I know it is early." She murmured, knowing her voice would break if she put any volume behind it. "But, could you…?" She trailed off on a sob, shaking her head as she tried desperately to drag her flying emotions back in.

"Ziva?" The question was soft, hesitant. "What is it? What's happened? Where are you?"

"Can you meet me?" She sounded so tiny, so vulnerable. Tony was on his feet in the seconds it took him to untangle himself from his sheets and pulling on his shirt from the night before without hesitation.

"Course I can. Where?" It didn't escape him that this was the third time he'd asked the question and she still hadn't told him why she was crying. She sobbed again, dangerously close to breaking down and collapsing to her knees right there in the parking lot. Somehow she thought no one around her would care. "Ziva, Sweetheart, where. Are. You?"

"The hospital." Tony's heart sank and jumped into his throat simultaneously. They'd had barely gotten out of the place.

"Okay. I'm gonna be about ten minutes. Can you wait that long?" He knew in any other circumstance his talking-to-her-like-she-was-Ethan's-age tone would have got him a tongue lashing and a bloody nose but right now, it seemed to be the only way to get through to her. "Ziva?"

"I…I will be in the parking lot." She ended the call and Tony just knew that she was right now sobbing her heart out silently and alone. With that thought at the forefront of his mind, he made quick work of dressing before leaving the house silently. The children didn't need to be disturbed at half five in the morning and if Ziva had wanted Gibbs to know, she would have phoned him instead. Less than thirty seconds after he had silently pulled the door shut, he was in his car, speeding to his partner's side.

* * *

He pulled up just a few feet in front of her and switched off the engine. He took quick steps to close the gap between them. She was slumped on the floor, face covered by clearly unbrushed curls.

"Ziva?" He asked quietly, trying desperately not to startle her. "Zi, it's Tony." She slowly lifted her head to face him. The tears running down her cheeks prompted him to crouch beside her. "What happened?"

"I…" She trailed off, unable to voice what they had told her. She shook her head and Tony nodded.

"Okay. I'm gonna help you up now and take you home okay?"

"No." She choked, Tony looked at her concerned.

"To which part Zi?" She shook her head again.

"Can, can we…" She trailed off again before dropping her eye line to her hands before speaking barely audibly. "Not Jethro's, please." Tony nodded, quashing his questions for a more appropriate time.

"Okay. But I still need to get you up okay Sweet Cheeks? This position can't be comfortable on your ribs." She let him take her elbow and help her up before helping her slowly into his car. He checked his mirrors, and her, before pulling out. If he couldn't take her to Gibbs' then he'd have to take her to her next favourite retreat. He'd never been so glad she'd kept her apartment.

* * *

Tony opened the door with his spare key before placing his hand on her lower back, gently guiding her through the door into the apartment. He slowly led her over to the sofa and made sure she was sat before heading to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He stopped in the doorway, confusion written across his face, before he stepped over a broken mixing bowl and what he thought was probably once batter. He filled a glass with water and took it back out to her, stopping in her bathroom to discretely get rid of the pregnancy test he'd just remembered was still in her bathtub- that would be the last thing she needed to see right now- before setting about cleaning her floor.

* * *

"We should umm…" Ziva trailed off as she stopped in the kitchen doorway. "You cleaned my floor?" She asked, confused, as she looked from the now clean tiles to Tony with his shirt sleeves rolled up and rubber gloves on, wringing out a cloth over the sink. He smiled softly at her.

"Least I could do." She dropped her head and Tony took off his gloves and made his way over to her side, gently resting his hand on her shoulder before leaning in to kiss the top of her head. "I'm so sorry Zi." She shook her head.

"It is not your fault. These things happen yes?" She cleared her throat before taking his eye again. "It is nearly seven. We should get going." Tony looked at his watch before rolling down his shirt sleeves.

"It's only cold cases." She smiled weakly. "Jen won't care if you take the day."

"Yes, but Jethro will be curious enough as to why we are both not there this morning without us being late as well. Plus LJ and Ethan still need to come in with us, there is no one to look after them." Tony nodded.

"It'll be good for them to have some normality." Tony grabbed his car keys before turning back to her in time to watch the colour drain from her face. "What's up?"

"My car." She cleared her throat again. "It is, uh, still at the hospital." Tony nodded.

"Okay, I'll drop you off at your car before heading back to Gibbs'. I'll make up some excuse if you like?" She nodded.

"I hate having to make you lie but…"

"You're not ready." Tony finished for her. "I get it. Just, tell him soon yeah?" Ziva nodded.

* * *

Ziva pulled up on the drive way just as Tony pulled out, Ethan clearly in the back seat. Gibbs was stood in the doorway looking a strange mixture of concerned and unhappy.

"Hi." She greeted softly. He reached for her to moment she was in reach and pulled her into a hug so gentle it brought fresh tears to her eyes.

"I was worried." He murmured against her shoulder. She slowly linked her hands around his lower back.

"I just went for a drive. I had to clear my head." She lied smoothly. He breathed her in for another long moment before pulling back and looking her hard in the eye.

"You're not safe to drive yet. You got a major concussion Saturday." She nodded.

"I know. I am sorry. I just had to get out." Gibbs smiled and kissed her gently, lingeringly. When he pulled back Ziva chased his lips, kissing him again until her ribs were screaming, there was no heat behind it, she just needed the comfort of the physical contact. She pulled back and rested her head on his chest; his arms slung low around her back.

"Hey, what was that for?" She shook her head. "Okay?" She nodded. "Come on, LJ's already reading in the car."

* * *

Author's Note-*hides* *ducks* *is offering hugs if you don't hate me too much*


	40. Not Coping

Author's Note-Umm, hey *waves slightly awkwardly*. Don't worry, I think this chapter is a bit of a breather after the last one. I just want to thank you all for, mostly, being very kind in your reviews. I have promised a couple of people privately that it will get better and I assure you all it will. We just need to get through this next bit. I don't think you'll "enjoy" this chapter per say but it may be a slight respite? Read and review, NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva cried herself to sleep that night, refusing to let Gibbs even touch her, claiming to be in too much pain. Guilt threatened to drown her as he tried so hard to make her feel better. He offered to call Ducky on multiple occasions, saying she shouldn't be in this much pain when she was still on pain medication. His warm smile and caring touch reduced her to tears every time.

She locked herself away for the evening, leaving Gibbs and Tony, who had all but moved in, to deal with dinner. Not that anyone blamed her. Being in pain was tiring, so Gibbs and LJ didn't question it, and Tony knew the real reason, so he didn't either. Ethan only asked once why Ziva wasn't at the table and was more than satisfied with a 'she's just sleepy; she'll see you in the morning Bud' from Tony.

* * *

After that, the week went relatively smoothly, all things considered. Pennie's funeral was arranged for the following Friday, Harrod's family handling his. His mother had asked the children to attend, something LJ had struggled with for almost an hour before finally, tearfully, agreeing that she would go, on the condition that Ethan didn't, one funeral in a week was enough for a three year old. The team were so proud of her mature attitude, saving her brother the pain of two funerals and saying goodbye to her dad despite the circumstances surrounding his death.

The team worked cold cases, Jenny occasionally coming to check on them. The doctor's had told Gibbs that Ziva's ribs and her cheek should be fixed within a four to six week period and she was so far right on course for the former to be achieved and her bruises were healing nicely, something Jenny wasn't the only one happy to hear.

By the end of the first week, Ziva practically begged Ducky to take a look at her and sign her off for active duty. Begrudgingly, he agreed, so long as she didn't run, didn't tackle anyone, didn't pull her gun and didn't do any strenuous exercise. It was enough to satisfy her though; it meant as soon as the team were able to get back into the field, so would she.

The only time anyone would be able to tell that she was hurting, emotionally or physically, was whenever Gibbs tried to ask her how she was. The sharp edge to her voice still made him jump, but he never once snapped back, knowing that pain wasn't the best thing for a person's temperament. He instead cared from a distance; running her a bath as soon as they got in, making sure she ate healthily, gently brushing her arm whenever he walked past her, brushing her hair for her whenever her ribs hurt too much to get her arms that high. It nearly killed her to allow him so close when she'd let him down so badly, when she was still hiding such a terrible secret from him, but, selfish as it was, she wanted to enjoy this period as much as she could before she had to rip their world apart.

* * *

The whole team had psych evaluations when they returned, as they did after every case that ended tragically. Everyone passed, even Tony, but he continued seeing a councillor privately. He needed to be strong enough to be able to support the kids through the rougher times of loosing a parent so young and for that he had to be able to support himself. He agreed to see him twice a week for six weeks before they re-evaluated.

* * *

Friday morning, Jenny appeared in the bullpen with a cautious smile on her face.

"Can we help you, Director?" Ziva asked quietly, having been the first one to notice her. The others all looked up simultaneously. Jenny looked from Ziva to Gibbs.

"May I have a word, Agent Gibbs?" He nodded just the once and stood from his desk before following Jenny, who had already started making her way to the elevator. The three agents looked to each other before all deciding if 'mom and dad' wanted to fight, they'd hear all about it soon enough.

* * *

Gibbs walked back out of the elevator not five minutes later and while Jenny walked back up to her office, Gibbs went to his desk and grabbed his pack.

"Grab your gear." He called, walking back towards the elevator. Tony, Ziva and Tim all exchanged looks before grabbing their gear and heading off, Ziva's backpack on Tony's shoulder after he refused to let her carry it, seeing as she winced just picking up the damn thing.

* * *

"DiNozzo, shoot and sketch, Ziva bag and tag, McGee, with me." Gibbs dolled out orders as soon as they arrived on scene before marching off to talk to the first officer on the scene, McGee following like a little lost puppy. Tony and Ziva got to work, unpacking what they needed and getting stuck in, Ziva still slightly tentative whenever she bent.

* * *

Almost five minutes later, Tony looked up to ask Ziva a question but was quickly in front of her as she swayed dangerously.

"Whoa Ninja." He murmured, gripping the top of her arms to steady her before she could fall. "You okay?" She nodded slightly. "Come on." He carefully walked them both backwards and gently lowered her to sit on the step. "Take a breath as deep as you can Ziva." He quickly retrieved her water bottle from her backpack and passed it to her as he crouched beside her. She sipped her water slowly before resting the bridge of her nose on her forearms as they sat on her knees, making sure to keep her back straight so as to not hurt her ribs.

"Thank you." She murmured and Tony gently ran his hand up and down the line of her spine.

"No problem." He smiled gently before resting his hand gently at the base of her back. "Is this about the…"

"No." She cut him off and he nodded. "I am just a little unsteady on my feet I guess. My blood sugar must be low, or I'm dehydrated. It may even be my ribs but I doubt it." Tony nodded and caught Gibbs' eye as he made his way over quickly.

"Ziva?" He asked concernedly, crouching in front of her. Tony took that as his cue to stand up. He made his way to stand beside Tim, running his hand quickly through his hair. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine." She murmured sharply. Gibbs was still shocked by her tone but pushed on. He'd left her to it all week but this was the final straw.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should go home?" She shook her head before sitting up quickly, making Gibbs lean back with speed to avoid her head butting him.

"I am fine Gibbs!" She shot back sharply. "I am perfectly capable of doing my job!" Both of the younger men quickly turned away from them with matching sighs. This wasn't going to go well, they both knew it. The fact that they both knew they were a couple only served to make this more awkward; watching your colleagues fight was one thing, but watching your friends have a 'lover's tiff' was so much worse. Gibbs sighed, scrubbing his hand through his hair.

"Go home Ziva." His patience was starting to wear thin.

"Who is telling me that?" She asked quickly, her insubordinate tone still strong.

"What?" He was starting to match the sharp edge of her tone.

"You are telling me to go home; I was wondering who was commanding that of me; my boss or my partner?" Gibbs had had enough of her snarky attitude.

"Boss. Go home." He growled. Hurt flashed in her eyes barely momentarily but no one picked up on it. She nodded and got to her feet.

"Fine." She grabbed her backpack and walked past Tony and Tim stopping only to quickly squeeze the former's hand. They all watched her go before quickly getting back to their jobs, Tony deciding in that moment that he was going back to his tonight.

* * *

Gibbs stormed out of the lab three hours later after finding out that Abby still didn't have the answers he wanted, leaving Tony in his wake, Abby watching after him curiously.

"What's got his panties in a bunch?" Tony sighed, running a weary hand across his forehead, shaking his head.

"Zi snapped at him again."

"Oh." Abby murmured. Tony chuckled sadly, desperately.

"She's falling apart Abbs. She nearly collapsed on scene today." Abby turned wide eyes on him.

"Is she okay?" Tony shrugged.

"She said she was, maybe her blood sugar was low or she was dehydrated." Tony scoffed. "She's barely slept Abby. I'm surprised it took her _this _long to wobble." Abby gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You know more about this than we do, don't you?" Tony's confliction must have showed on his face. "I'm not gonna ask. Ziva's your partner, you trust each other with your lives on a daily basis, that bond is sacred." Tony gave her a small smile. "I will ask one thing though. Are her and Gibbs going to make it through this?" Tony pulled her close and hugged her securely. He needed to get the tremble out of her voice; he didn't have the strength to support her too.

"It'll be fine Abbs, just fine. Nothing will break up our little unconventional family; you should know that by now." He kissed her cheek and left the lab.

"That wasn't an answer Tony DiNozzo." Abby grumbled, before getting back to DNA matches, hoping she could help solve this case soon. Gibbs and Ziva clearly needed to have this out before Gibbs had someone's head.


	41. The Fallout

Author's Note-TISSUE WARNING! I cried while writing this so... Read and review please. NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs slammed their bedroom door closed behind him the moment he got home late that night, but Ziva refused to even look up from her book. She wasn't in the mood to fight.

"What, the hell, was that today?" Gibbs practically hissed as if he'd suddenly realised there were two sleeping children just down the hall. Though she doubted LJ was still asleep.

"You sent me home Jethro." She reminded him slowly, patiently. "So I came home." Gibbs sighed.

"You nearly collapsed at a crime scene, you were too distracted to do your write up, you and DiNozzo have been whispering behind my back and you snapped at me more than once. What was that about?" Ziva sighed as she placed her bookmark into the spine and placed the book on her bedside table before running a hand through her hair as she turned to face him.

"Everyone is entitled to have an 'off day' yes?"

"Yeah, Ziver, but you've been like it all week!" Ziva joined him standing as his volume rose.

"Will you keep your voice down?" She asked heatedly.

"No! Not until you tell me what is up with you lately!" Ziva suddenly looked around him. "Ziva!"

"Do not just stand there Tateleh." She told the closed door gently, no hint of the frustration her voice had held just seconds before. To Gibbs befuddlement, it slowly opened and a blearily, tearful eyed LJ peered around it. "Did we wake you?" She asked softly, shooting Gibbs a pointed look that was completely at odds with her tone. LJ nodded with a sniff. Ziva very much suspected her tears were not just related to their arguing but she was sure as hell it hadn't helped. "Come; let us get you back to your bed." She smiled as she stepped around Gibbs.

"We aren't finished!" Gibbs told her firmly.

"Yes." Ziva dismissed, gently manoeuvring LJ out the door. "We are."

"Ziva!" She turned to face him as her eyes flashed.

"You will not yell in front of her! She has had enough to deal with this last week without being ripped from her sleep by our screaming match!" Her voice rebelled despite her own protests to his shouting. She put her hand on LJ's shoulder, encouraging her down the hall

"Ziva!" He shouted after her.

"Jethro!" She retorted spinning at the half way point between their rooms.

"What the hell is wrong with you? !" He screamed, not even worrying at Ethan was now crying from his place in what had been his mother's bed. Ziva practically growled in frustration.

"I'm pregnant!" She yelled back, effectively silencing him before she moved to collect Ethan and followed LJ into her room. Gibbs slowly walked back into their room and sat heavily on the floor beside their bed.

* * *

Ziva calmly re-entered the bedroom more than an hour later, and closed the door softly, refusing to not only make eye contact, but to even look in the general direction of Gibbs as he sat on the floor, knees drawn to his chest.

"The children are asleep." She told him softly. He nodded, not that it mattered; neither was looking at the other. She crossed the room and stood beside the window, watching the still, silent, street below.

"Pregnant huh?" Gibbs croaked several moments later. Ziva sighed.

"No." She murmured, still neither moved.

"Then why…?" He asked quietly.

"I…" She paused, slowly wiping at the tears cascading down her cheek. "Was." He stood and turned to face her but didn't move from his spot.

"You, you lost it or…?" Ziva shook her head with a humourless chuckle.

"Did you really just ask me if I aborted our child?" She turned her head to face him, the moonlight highlighting the lines of moisture on her cheeks. Her eyes were dead and Gibbs' heart sank.

"I, I just…"

"No." Ziva shook her head again as she turned back to the window. "Although given your views on having more children maybe it would have been the better option for you, hmm?" Gibbs opened his mouth to reply but quickly found he had no response to that. "I started bleeding Monday morning. Tony met me at the hospital." Gibbs nodded.

"Why didn't you phone _me_?" Ziva sighed.

"And have said what? 'Oh, hi. You do not even know I am pregnant, but I am miscarrying, will you come meet me'?" She scoffed and his heart dropped.

"Would have Zi. I'm your partner. That's my_ job_." Ziva shook her head.

"You do not want children with me."

"I still care about _you_." Ziva scoffed again. "That's not fair, Ziva. I never left your side. I had lost Pennie and had two grieving children to deal with, not to mention a distraught senior agent; who got over her death quick enough, but I still..." Ziva spun on the spot as she pointed her finger at him.

"Don't you dare." She hissed. "Do not even _dare_ say that Tony got over Pennie's death quickly because he was able to support me when you could not. He loved that girl with all his heart." She dropped her hand. "He came to collect me because I called, because I cried down the phone, because I told him I was bleeding and he knew I was p…" She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud to him now. She turned back to the window as she wiped her eyes once more. They lapsed back into silence for several minutes. "I have just told you that I lost our baby, Jethro." She pointed out heartbrokenly. "Do you even care?" Her voice broke on the last word and her shoulders shook as she tried so hard not to openly sob. Still she didn't turn to face him and he made no move to be closer to her.

"I'm in shock Ziver." He told her honestly, moving to sit on the end of their bed. "I thought there was something really wrong with you. I was so worried and now…"

"You find out that it was just a miscarriage?" Ziva asked mockingly. Gibbs looked at the back of her head imploringly before rolling his neck and running his hand through his hair.

"Why didn't you tell me? You clearly knew you were pregnant before this weekend, why didn't you tell me?" She shrugged subtly. "Ziva…?"

"I." She paused. "I was scared." She whispered. He sat perfectly still for a moment, his hand still resting on his crown before jumping up and going behind Ziva. He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her gently, hoping, praying, that she wouldn't pull away.

"Are you alright?" She nodded slowly.

"It was…complete. No complications. I am…fine." He nodded.

"And aside from the physical?" Ziva laughed sombrely.

"Raw. Numb. Devastated." She shook her head tearfully. "Small. Terrified. _Lost_." She turned to face him, tears glistening in her eyes even as more cascaded down her face. "Alone." Her voice cracked and Gibbs pulled her closer and held her tighter.

"Not alone Ziva. Not alone." Ziva leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shoulda known, shoulda been there, shoulda…I'm sorry." She shook her head before drawing away from him.

"You do not want more children Gibb…Jethro." He heard the hesitation, her want to distance them even further by calling him something less personal, his heart broke. "Perhaps." She paused, bowing her head and taking a few deep breaths, trying desperately to talk around the lump in her throat. "Perhaps, _this_ was…the best option." She murmured in a very low voice. Gibbs felt like slamming his head into the wall, a head slap wasn't enough for what he had done to her. He reached out to take her hand, wincing as she took a step away from him with a tight shake of her head.

"Never the best option Ziva. You don't believe that, you know you don't, _I _know you don't. Don't tell me what you think I wanna hear. Tell me what you're really feeling." Ziva sighed as she shook her head.

"It does not matter how I feel." She took a breath that shuddered so much it almost wasn't worth it. "It is done." Gibbs barely resisted the urge to shake her.

"Ziva. We promised to be honest. Tell me how you feel." He growled and he practically felt when something snapped inside her. She took his gaze, fire burning in her own.

"Like a _failure! _Like my entire _world_ had been ripped apart at the seams. I wanted to kill you for not wanting my child; I was convinced it was a higher power deciding your _happiness_ was worth more than _my baby_. I wanted to tell you I was pregnant and you to be happy, not for us to have this conversation. I…" She faltered. "I wanted…" She started quietly. "I wanted you to hold me." She choked on a sob. "I wanted, you to curl up with me in bed and hold me as I cried. I wanted...I wanted..." She shook her head. "I wanted you to want our child even half as much as me. But you did not, and now there is no baby to want." She gulped in air, ignoring the tears steaming down her face. "I understand. I _do_. You lost Kelly and it _hurts_ and it _never_ goes away. Tali was not my child, nor was Ari, but they _were_ my _blood_ Jethro and I know that pain." She paused again, gently stroking the tears off her cheeks. "What I _want_, does not matter now. I could not protect my child, and they were taken from me. Whether it is from your desire to not have children, or my past sins that made it so it, it happened. It is done." She hugged herself tightly as she fought the instinct to run, to fall to her knees and sob. "It is over." She murmured. "And maybe…we are over too?"

Gibbs stood there stunned. He watched her shake before him, hugging herself, tears pouring down her face and he honestly felt sick. He had made her feel like this. Every time he'd held LJ or Ethan and said they were enough, every time he'd mentioned Kelly and said he'd never do it again. His heart broke as he watched the woman he loved basically cower from his touch. He had hurt her more than he would ever know and what was worse is she had suffered in silence for the last week because she was scared of telling him. She was _scared _to tell him she had gotten pregnant and lost their baby. He truly hated himself in a way he hadn't since he'd lost the girls. He had caused her so much pain. While his thoughts were flying around his brain, Ziva was loosing her battle to stay upright before him. She shook her head and turned tail.

* * *

"Don't." Gibbs murmured, thanking his fast reflexes not for the first time as he caught her wrist before she'd even made it half way to the door. "Scream, shout, hit me, throw things, do _whatever _you need to, but please, _please, _don't run from me. I know you hate me right now, I know I've hurt you more than I can ever apologise for, I know the last thing you want right now is to be around me but _please_ Ziva." He shook his head as he felt her try to pull her arm back. He sighed before closing the gap between them and dropping her wrist for only the moment it took him to thread his arms around her stomach and turn her around, pulling her into his chest. He felt as she tried to pull away, as she pushed at his shoulders, as she punched his chest fighting to be let go. He only held her tighter, his own tears burning the back of his eyes. She fought for a full thirty seconds before relenting and sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I am so sorry." He picked her up and sat in the middle of their bed, crossing his legs under her and cuddling her into his chest. "I'm sorry." He rocked them both from side to side.

"Shhh, it's alright. It's alright, shhh, it's okay." He murmured into her ear as she continued to sob. "It's okay. I've got you. I've got you, you're safe now." He rocked her until she became a dead weight in his arms. He gently laid them both down and held her close, she was still mumbling apologies, even in her dreams. His breath shuddered, his body and soul tired with being strong for her now.

* * *

Once she had silenced, he squeezed her gently before removing himself from her grasp and the room. He steadily made his way down both sets of stairs and paused at the workbench. All of a sudden the emotional ledge he'd been frantically clinging onto in order to support her crumbled beneath him. He threw the glass beside his hand into the opposite wall, falling with the shards of glass to the floor, before sobbing out loud. A desperate, pain filled cry, the heartbreaking sound of a broken man.

* * *

Author's Note-I'm just gonna go back into hiding now.


	42. Making A Mends

Author's Note-I'm giving this another tissue warning but this will be the last for a bit. After this there will be a break in the angst (at least the Zibbs centered angst). Read and review please. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva woke up just under an hour later, to find herself alone. After an initial bout of panic, she sighed before getting out of bed. She made her way to Ethan's room, pausing in the door way to watch him sleep. Watching as his chest rose and fell calmed her in a way that was too painful to acknowledge right now. She closed the door quietly before crossing the hall and leaning on the doorframe of LJ's room.

She silently made her way over to her bed and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. LJ smiled in her sleep and Ziva couldn't help but smile back. Once she had closed the door, she made her way down to the basement, knowing that no matter how hurt he was, how angry, he wouldn't have left her home alone with the children without a word.

He may need to be alone, to process, but that didn't mean she couldn't just quietly sit on the stairs and watch him work. She didn't really feel like being alone right now.

* * *

Ziva couldn't hear the usual comforting sound of sandpaper on wood as she silently descended the stairs. She paused on the bottom step, clutching her chest, stricken, as she saw the man she loved, crumpled on the floor, leaning against the workbench, tears still falling as he stared blankly at the opposite wall.

She took a step forward but immediately withdrew her bare foot as she trod on something sharp. She looked down at the floor and noticed the remains of his bourbon glass and her heart sank even further. She could deal with angry Gibbs, she could even handle angry Jethro, though not nearly as well, but this vulnerable shadow of a man, one whom she had never seen cry, it was too much for her heart to bear.

"Jethro?" She whispered, her voice hoarse from sobbing, her airways constricting too violently for her to utter anything louder. He took a while to drag his eyes from the spot on the wall almost as if he had to pull himself back into reality. He met her eye and she couldn't help but gasp at the pure unadulterated sadness she found there. She carefully stepped over the glass, tentatively stepping on her right foot, knowing for certain the moment she put her weight onto it, that the shard had broken her skin, but not really caring. She knelt beside him and took his hand in both of hers. She opened her mouth to speak, to comfort him, to reassure him, but found that she had no words left. Though she doubted, even if she could have found the words, that she would offer him any comfort in this state. He pulled her into his lap and she willingly followed him. He curled his arms around her and nuzzled his face into her hair, unintentionally mixing his tears with her chocolate curls.

* * *

"Don't let this destroy us Ziva." He pleaded softly more than ten minutes later. "Couldn't handle that."

"Me either." She assured him just as quietly. She traced random patterns on his chest as she built the courage to ask him the question currently playing on her mind. In the end, he beat her to it.

"Never knew how much I wanted kids again until you told me you were pregnant." He murmured, pulling her closer, pressing a kiss to her crown. "Then you said you'd…" He paused and felt her shudder. "Was like our Kel all over again." Their breathing hitched in tandem. "Sorry Ziva. You shoulda been able to come to me. I shoulda listened to the signs instead of ignoring them. You shouldn't have had to go through this alone. I shoulda helped you." She felt his breathing waver slightly. "We can make it through this, right?" She had never heard him sound as vulnerable as he did it that moment. She wanted to reassure him. To tell him they'd be fine. To do her job as his partner and say anything she could to take that sadness out of his gaze. But she found in that horrific moment, she couldn't lie to him even if it would make him happy. She suddenly felt two inches tall and a dozen years younger. Apparently she wasn't done failing him yet.

"I do not know Jethro." She sat up but kept hold of his hand so he knew she wasn't running. She looked him in the eye and felt her heart constrict at the terrified stare he was aiming her way. "I wish I could say something to make this better. I, I hope so." She croaked. She squeezed his hand gently. "I do not want to lose you over this."

"I can't lose you Ziver. Not sure I can do this without ya anymore." She smiled sadly.

"Then we must talk Jethro. You must break the habit of running rather than talking to me. I must too." She shook her head, a small weak attempt at a smile playing on her lips. "We are as bad as each other." He chuckled and for the first time that night, it wasn't tinged with unspeakable sadness.

"Want this to work. I'll do anything for you Ziver." She smiled softly, took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"As would I for you Jethro." He leaned in slowly, giving her ample time to pull away if she wanted. As it happened, she met him half way and they shared a kiss that told the other more than they could ever say. They poured all of their sadness, their fears, their joint loss and their love for each other into that kiss. He pulled her into his chest and held her close as she nuzzled into his neck.

* * *

"You're not a failure Zi." Gibbs murmured, his warm breath fanning across her forehead as she tilted her face up to see him. "You said you felt like a failure." Ziva's eyes dropped to where her hand was playing with his shirt button. "Hey now." He shook his head and gently tapped under her chin to make her look at him. Her eyes were void of emotion yet sparkling with unshed tears. He slowly ran his thumb under each, catching the fallen droplets littering her cheeks. "You couldn't _ever _fail me." She sighed, taking his hand in her own and holding it against her cheek, needing the contact.

"A woman is made to carry children, I could not even…"

"You were doing fine till Harrod beat ya half way to hell." She shook her head against his palm.

"You cannot know that." He tilted her head so she had no choice but to meet his eye.

"Do." He told her definitely. "And even if not…" She dropped her eyes from his until he slowly dragged his hand across her back where it supported her. "Don't care. I love you Ziva. We can try again. If you want to. You _haven't _failed me, never could." She nodded slowly, leaning her forehead against his.

"J-Jethro?" She asked tentatively. He hummed in askance. "Can we just go to bed please? Can…" she faltered, "can you hold me while I cry tonight?" Gibbs hoisted her into his arms, bridal style, and carried her up both flights of stairs, avoiding the glass she'd cut herself on, while she clung to his shirt collar. Once he reached the bedroom, he put her on the bed only so long as to strip down to his boxers before climbing in beside her and carefully slotting her under his chin and into his body. He felt her shoulders shake as his chest grew damp but he only held her tighter, stroking soothing lines into her back as she sobbed silently. The very fact she let him hold her was enough to lighten his heart enough to allow him to drift into a slightly fitful sleep. The last week had clearly been even more terrible than he had known, but at least they were making some progress.


	43. Making Progress

Gibbs left Ziva in bed the next morning, leaving a note on his pillow explaining that he'd taken the children with him, he had his cell if she needed him, he loved her and that he'd see her tonight if she decided not to come in later. It was nearly lunchtime when he received a text from her telling him that she loved him too, appreciated the choice and was staying home. He didn't blame her after yesterday. The weekend shifts were usually the easiest but last night had been tough on the both of them.

* * *

With no new case on their desks, the day was going pretty slowly. Gibbs sent Tim to go eat lunch with Lilly- they'd been playing phone tag all morning- before motioning for Tony to join him in the elevator. Tony gulped, having some idea what was going on, before following him in.

* * *

Gibbs pulled the brake the moment they started moving and leaned against the back wall. Tony sighed, leaning against the side, waiting for the ass kicking of a life time.

"Not thrilled you knew and didn't tell me," he murmured, Tony opened his mouth to reply but Gibbs shook his head. "Am happy she had you though." Gibbs paused before quickly squeezing Tony's shoulder. "Thanks for having her back." Tony stood open mouthed. Gibbs smiled. "Don't look so shocked, DiNozzo."

"I just expected you to hate me for keeping it from you." Gibbs sighed.

"Hate that she felt she couldn't tell me." Tony nodded, that was understandable. "Glad she had you." Tony nodded, the pure emotion in his boss' eyes bringing a lump to his throat.

"I'll always be there for her boss. She's family." Gibbs nodded before moving to bring the elevator back to life. "One question though?" Gibbs nodded, standing opposite him. "Is she okay? It's just, I noticed she wasn't in today and I got her voicemail when I tried calling earlier."

"She was probably still asleep." Tony's eyes widened just a touch and Gibbs gave him a contrite smile. "We argued, then talked. Got pretty late. She cried herself to sleep. We're okay now though." Tony gave him a soft smile.

"I'm glad she has _you. _I'll admit, I had my doubts at first, but you're good for her, boss. I haven't seen her this happy in a long time." Gibbs' lips curved faintly. "Take care of her, all right?" Gibbs nodded.

"Planning to Tony." They exchanged smiles before Gibbs flipped the switch and they both went back to their desks.

* * *

Gibbs let himself in that night, Ethan asleep on his hip, LJ trudging along behind him. Ziva smiled as she met him at the door.

"Would you like me to take him?" She asked softly, tenderly stroking the hair back from Ethan's forehead.

"Nah, don't wanna hurt your ribs. I'll put him to bed." He slowly made his way upstairs while Ziva gently hugged LJ.

"Are you alright, Tateleh?" LJ nodded against her. "We are sorry we kept you up last night."

"I know. Gibbs apologised in the car this morning." Ziva smiled. "Is everything okay now?" Gibbs came back downstairs just as she asked the question and carefully wrapped his arms around both of them, pressing a kiss to Ziva's temple.

"Everything is going to be fine." Ziva smiled. LJ nodded. "Now, come, dinner is almost ready and then I think it is an early night for you." Gibbs smiled as he watched them walk, hand in hand, into the kitchen before answering his now ringing cell.

* * *

"Yeah, Gibbs." He heard papers shuffling and someone clearing their throat on the other end of the phone.

"Is this Special Agent in Charge, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, with NCIS?"A young woman asked. Gibbs straightened his back subconsciously. It was rarely good when people addressed him by his full title.

"Yeah. Who's this?" The young woman cleared her throat again and shuffled more papers.

"My name is Danielle King; I am Pennie Harrod's attorney, and executor of her estate." Gibbs looked over his shoulder at the heart warming sight of LJ and Ziva laughing and cooking together before quickly stepping outside. He had a feeling he shouldn't have an audience for this call.

"What can I do for you, Ms. King?" he asked politely, digging deep for a calm he no longer felt.

"I was wondering if you were available to come in on Monday? There are some things we need to discuss." She paused for a moment. "In regards to Pennie's last wishes for her children: Lauren Jessica and Ethan?" Gibbs' heart tripped unexpectedly. He wasn't aware of just how attached he had become to those kids.

"Okay. I'll be there." He nodded despite the fact she couldn't see him. The attorney gave him an address and asked him to be there at nine before hanging up. Gibbs ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he slipped his cell back into his jacket pocket.

"Is everything okay?" Ziva's voice startled him. He turned to see her leaning in the doorway, watching him with concern. The light from the house framed her, making her look almost ethereal. He smiled, so happy to be the one she had chosen. He nodded and gently took her into his arms, holding her close. "Jethro?"

"Pen's attorney. Wants to talk about her wishes for LJ and Ethan." Ziva tilted her head to look at him.

"They will be going to their paternal grandparents I presume?" Gibbs sighed, dipping his head to rest on her shoulder. "They will be alright." She soothed.

"I know, just gotten used to having them around I guess." Ziva smiled before kissing his shoulder quickly.

"Come, your dinner is on the table, the children are waiting."

* * *

It hadn't taken much to convince Jenny to let him have the morning off. Gibbs sat in the small waiting area before the young man at the reception desk told him that Ms King was ready for him, and he should go on through.

"Agent Gibbs." Danielle greeted with a soft smile as she stood from behind her desk and reached for his hand. The agent in him noticed the manicured nails, that she held her pen in her left hand, the engagement ring on her finger and the unnaturally white teeth. The man noticed she was beautiful. They shook before both taking a seat either side of her desk. "I must first say how sorry I am that you have to be the one sat at my desk. Pennie was a wonderful young woman and a good friend." Gibbs nodded, too soon for any sort of acknowledgement. "But, what is done is done and we can't change that. So I suppose we should get down to business, I am sure you are a busy man." Her hazel eyes sparkled as she flashed him a smile before taking a piece of paper from the pile in front of her and re-read it at lightening speed, Gibbs couldn't stop himself making the comparison to LJ. "Pennie sent this to me a few months ago. It is signed and legal but, obviously, I cannot force this on you just because she wished it." Interest officially peeked; Gibbs sat a little taller in his chair.

"What's it say?" Danielle shot him a cautious smile.

"It asks that in the event of her death, or incapacity to look after her children independently, they would go into your care until they are of legal age." Gibbs' heart stuttered. "She named you Lauren and Ethan's legal guardian."


	44. Talking Things Through

Author's Note-I know it's been more than a month but rl and the holidays got in the way for the wonderful person who makes sure my chapters are in character. I don't blame her and nor should you. Just be happy that it's back. Also, I have the next few written so the updates should be more regular again for a while. :D This picks up exactly where Making Progress left off. NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs sat back with a bump. Of all the places he'd expected this conversation to go, _that_ hadn't even begun to cross his mind.

Danielle shot him a small smile that bordered on shy. "I take it she didn't tell you?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Well, obviously her wishes count for quite a lot, being their mother. Seeing as their father is also deceased, I spoke to the biological grandparents. Pennie's mother, as I presume you know, passed away several years ago now, and her father, Peter Maloney, died in prison earlier this year."

Gibbs nodded, trying to follow her.

"And neither of Mr Harrod's parents are fighting for custody." Danielle's smile dimmed. "You do not look happy Agent Gibbs-?"

"So LJ and Ethan are mine? That what you're saying?"

Danielle nodded. "Obviously, there will need to be some checks, on yourself and your lifestyle and Social Services will be speaking to people that know you well to assure that you are suitable to be raising the children, including the children themselves, but yes. If you would like custody, and you are found fit, it has been offered to you."

"Where will they stay mean time?" She smiled gently.

"The powers that be are more than happy to leave them where they are for now Agent Gibbs, they see no reason to move them while our I's are dotted and T's crossed." Gibbs nodded. "Obviously, this is a lot to take in. You probably want to take a few days, talk to your friends and family, perhaps even the children." A thought struck him.

"My partner, Ziva David, she lives with me. She would be a big part of their lives." Danielle smiled.

"She would also need to be thoroughly checked, the same as you." Gibbs nodded slowly. "Why don't I let you think about this for a while and if I haven't heard from you by, shall we say Friday, than I shall get in contact?"

He nodded slowly. Danielle stood and Gibbs joined her as soon as he'd processed the motion.

"I hope to hear from you soon, Agent Gibbs, it was a pleasure to have met you." Gibbs nodded and shook her extended hand before letting her show him out of her office.

He quickly went back to his car and paused there for a moment before turning on the engine and driving back to the office.

* * *

Ziva pushed him back into the elevator the moment he arrived on their floor. He smiled and covered her hand where it lay on his chest, while allowing her to take him back into the lift and pull the emergency brake. He leaned in and rested his forehead on hers.

"Is everything okay?" She asked softly, gently sweeping her thumb across his chest where her hand still rested. He nodded. "When are they leaving?" The tiny hitch in her voice the only indicator she didn't like this.

Gibbs pulled back just far enough to meet her eye.

"Pen named me their legal guardian." He murmured, seeing the shock he was still feeling reflected in her eyes.

"You mean, they are staying?" Gibbs nodded.

"They have to check us out, talk to Jen, the team and the kids, make sure we're fit, but yeah. They're staying."

Ziva threw her arms around his neck, ignoring the dull ache it brought on in her ribs. Gibbs wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close, dropping a kiss on her cheek as he did. "Glad to see you happy, Ziva." She pulled back with a soft smile, kissing him chastely.

"I love you." She near on whispered. "And Jethro? I will not allow this to break us. We are stronger than it." He gently kissed her forehead, leaving his lips against her skin as her eyes slipped shut.

"I won't let it either. Love you too much."

* * *

Gibbs sat on the couch later that night, his head resting on the back while Ziva sat cross-legged on the coffee table. Neither of them had said a word for over an hour. Keeping LJ and Ethan as house guests, as Pennie's children and only their charge some of the time, was something completely different to making them theirs. LJ slipped past the doorway unnoticed and into the kitchen to get a glass of water, both adults far too preoccupied with their own thoughts to pay attention to her.

"Umm…" she started shyly, jumping with both adults as she broke the silence. They both turned to her, Ziva smiling softly, Gibbs schooling his features only enough to hide the turmoil. "I'm going to bed; I have a uhh, _big_, afternoon tomorrow." Harrod's funeral had been arranged for tomorrow afternoon, his parents had texted her the details just the day before.

Ziva shot her a sympathetic smile.

"Okay, Tateleh." Ziva said softly. LJ's brow furrowed and Gibbs' eyes smiled at just how much she looked like Ziva.

"Are you two okay?" Ziva turned quickly to Gibbs before turning back to her.

"Of course we are, Angel." LJ half nodded, obviously not believing them but choosing not to question it.

"Okay, night."

"Night, Kiddo." Gibbs smiled.

"Lailah Tov, LJ. Sleep well." Ziva and LJ exchanged smiles.

"I will." She lifted a hand in a wave before making her way towards the stairs. Ziva turned back to Gibbs with a small smile still playing on her lips. Gibbs chuckled.

"What?" Ziva asked. Gibbs chuckled again.

"You're really good with her." Ziva shrugged one shoulder.

"I did once have a little sister her age, Jethro. It may have been several years but you do not forget." Gibbs smiled gently.

"Got no idea what to do with a twelve year old. Kel never got that far." Ziva gently squeezed his knee. "I'm alright." He murmured.

"Will you be though? If you do this, can you honestly say that you will be able to be emotionally open enough to be a parent again after Kelly?" Ziva asked softly, her tone holding no accusation.

Gibbs sighed.

"I am sorry, that was not fair."

Gibbs caught her hand before she could withdraw it. He gently kissed her fingertips before carefully pulling her into him to straddle his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his hands on the base on her spine.

"I only ask…" Gibbs kissed her slowly, effectively getting her to be quiet. She rested her hands on his chest as she pulled away.

"I know. No need to tiptoe round me." She nodded and leant in to rest their foreheads together. "All this time, I always thought having more kids…" Gibbs hesitated when he felt her tense slightly. He gently rubbed her back comfortingly until she nodded against him. "Thought it meant I was trying to replace her. And I was never sure I could take it again, that pain of loosing her. Realised something though Ziva." He pulled back so he could meet her eye. "Kelly happened. She's my daughter and always will be."

"Gone but not forgotten." Ziva murmured and he knew she was no longer just talking about Kelly.

"And just because Kel died, didn't mean it would happen again. I'm not replacing Kelly with Lauren any more than you're replacing Tali." Ziva nodded slowly. "Sure you're on board with this before we talk to them?"

Ziva sighed before dropping her head to his shoulder.

Gibbs carefully wrapped his arms more fully around her and leant his cheek on her crown. He could practically feel the cogs turning in her head as she sorted through her somewhat chaotic emotions. She wanted to be a mother, she had made that quite clear but he realised that so soon after everything they had lost, this had to be hard.

They sat there, just drawing strength from each other, for several minutes.

"You really want to do this, yes?" Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah, think I do." He felt her smile against his shoulder.

"Good." She smiled. "I want this too. I want to have children with you, Jethro. Be that LJ and Ethan or, our own." She finished slightly hesitantly. "We must talk to them both before we make any permanent decisions though."

"I agree." Ziva sat up. "So we're doing this?"

Ziva smiled.

"Yes, we are doing this." Gibbs kissed her gently. He only hoped the children were as up for it as they were.


	45. Funeral Wear

A tentative knock at her front door the next morning, drew Abby out of her seat in front of 'Dracula', she didn't have to be in until lunch time and decided to relax with her favourite movie for a couple of hours first. She pulled open the door and her eyes landed on LJ, not meeting her eye, twisting the hem of her black cherry shirt between nervous fingers. Abby looked up and down the hall, expecting to see either Ziva or Gibbs. Someone at least.

"Ziva dropped me off on her way in." LJ explained quietly. "I asked if it was okay if she didn't stay. She said she'd wait outside until you text her saying I was with you." Abby nodded, dumbfounded. "May I come in?" Abby nodded quickly.

"Course you can. Can I get you something to drink?" LJ shook her head slowly, eyes wandering to take in the apartment. Aside from a few splatter pattern paintings and magnified mould pictures, it was relatively ordinary, not at all what she had been expecting. "I keep the coffin in the bedroom." Abby's voice startled her but she giggled all the same. Abby smiled gently, putting away her phone once it had confirmed her message to Ziva had been sent. "Not that I don't love seeing you Lil' One, but why are you here?" LJ slowly turned to face her.

"I need your help." Abby's eyes widened slightly but she nodded all the same.

"Okay Honey, what do you need Auntie Abby's help with?" LJ smiled at the term before dropping her eyes again. "Hey, Kiddo, you won't get in trouble with me, and whatever it is, I've probably done worse." LJ shook her head.

"It isn't anything like that. I just... My father's funeral is this afternoon." The cold detachment of the twelve year old hit Abby hard, no kid should have to go through what she had. "And I have nothing suitable to wear. I have one completely black, funeral appropriate, dress but it's, it _was_, my, mother's favourite, so I thought it fitting to wear…then." She swallowed. "What do you wear to the funeral of the man who helped create you and raise you before turning into a monster that hurts you and kills your mother?" Abby sighed.

"I don't know, Kid. But I may have a dress suitable for you to wear to your _father's_ funeral." Despite what he had done to Pennie, LJ and Ziva, not to mention Tony, Abby knew that she had to be the adult. Despite what he had done, Harrod was still LJ's father and she had lost both of her parents just over a week ago, she needed to be supported, not goaded. "Come on; let's see if I have anything that will fit."

More than an hour, and several dresses, later, LJ stepped out of the bathroom with a small sad smile.

"If I could, I think I would like to borrow this one." The dress in question was black cotton with a small red ribbon belt ending in a tie at the right side of her waist. It had long black sleeves, a scoop neckline and sat a comfortable inch under her knee and after a couple of careful adjustments by Abby, it fit like a glove. Abby smiled gently.

"I think it's perfect." LJ nodded, shakily tucking her hair behind her ear. "How about I brush it huh? I think I have a ribbon that would match if you'd like?" Abby spoke softly, trying hard to not push her but also not ignore the fact that LJ was trying so hard to keep it together. LJ nodded, a tiny movement but Abby caught it and riffled around in a draw before pulling out a black silk ribbon and arranging LJ to stand in front of the mirror. Abby slowly started brushing the young girl's hair. "This is going to be tough, no matter how you and your dad left things." LJ sighed softly. "Is someone going with you?" She hadn't had a chance to talk to either Ziva or Gibbs about it yet.

"No." LJ started softly, a barely detectable waver in her voice. "After what he did to Ziva, I didn't think it fair to ask her to attend and he took Gibbs daughter away from him not to mention…what he did to Ziva." She wasn't stupid, she'd heard the argument between the two adults and knew all about what Harrod had taken from them. But she also knew that neither of them had told her and thus it wasn't her information to share. Abby seemed to take the comment at face value.

"Would you like me to come?" Abby asked softly, no hint of pressure in her voice, as she carefully turned her round and slipped the ribbon under her deep red hair and across her crown before gently tying it in a bow above her left eye. LJ shrugged.

"He hurt your friends Abby." The comment was barely a whisper but the betrayal lacing it came through loud and clear. Abby gently laid her hand on the young girl's shoulder before gently tipping her head so she could see her face.

"Would you like me to come?" She repeated just as softly, but slightly more surely.

"If you would not mind and Jenny will let you?" Abby smiled and gently kissed her forehead.

"Let me phone her and ask okay?" LJ nodded slowly, nervously playing with the hem of her dress, something Abby had noticed she did a lot.

"Hi Director." Abby greeted cheerily when Jenny picked up the phone.

"It's your morning off Abby, or had your forgotten?"

"No, I haven't forgotten Director. Actually, I was wondering if I could ask for a massive favour." Jenny sighed just slightly. She knew how much that team had been through and didn't begrudge them for a second but she was getting slightly tired of having to grant them favours.

"What do you need?"

"I could do with taking a couple of hours off this afternoon." Jenny shook her head with a sigh.

"And your reason?" Abby looked back over her shoulder as LJ sat staring blankly at the TV. The switched off TV.

"It's Harrod's funeral this afternoon, and I'd rather LJ not be alone. Seeing as I'm the only one in the team not directly, or indirectly, affected…" She trailed off, thoughts off McGee having to watch as one partner laid unconscious on the ground and the other desperately tried to stop the blood from pouring out of his girlfriend's chest, she could only imagine. "That man did enough damage to that team without any of them having to be respectful at his funeral. But that little girl lost her daddy and she needs to be supported." Jenny immediately felt guilty at her reaction, she hadn't even realised it was today.

"Of course Abby. Take the day. I'll see you tomorrow." Abby thanked her and hung up before gathering her things.

The funeral was in two and a half hours and she wanted to check with Ziva and Gibbs that they didn't mind. Not that she thought they would but they were the parents in this equation. She also wanted to see what they wanted her to do afterward, whether one or both of them would be home to receive her once it was over or if they would prefer her to bring her back to NCIS.


	46. Putting On A Brave Face

Abby gently took LJ's hand as the congregation stood to watch the coffin being lowered into the ground. The young girl had been a model of composure the entire ceremony and, as she stood beside her father's grave, she managed to keep that composure steady. The two of them watched as Harrod's parents both threw handfuls of dirt onto the casket. Harrod's mother turned to LJ once she'd taken her turn.

"Would you like to?" Despite her posing it as a question, Abby noticed the hard edge to the woman's voice that told her it was anything but. LJ politely shook her head, the only thing betraying her calm, cool and collected mask was the tension in her fingers around Abby's and the dampness of her palm. The woman glared at them both before moving along.

"You still okay?" Abby asked softly when she felt LJ start to breathe again beside her. She'd lost count on how many times she'd asked the question but she was in her care and she was just a child at her father's funeral. Abby saw no harm in re-checking every once in a while.

"I'm fine." To her credit, LJ's voice stayed steady and clear. Abby nodded and gently squeezed her hand. They stood silently until the rest of the group dispersed- both of LJ's parental grandparents shooting daggers at her as they walked past- meaning the only thing standing in between Abby and having a very strong word, and perhaps calling in Gibbs, was the gentle pressure on her arm from the twelve year old beside her. Once they had gone, Abby turned to face her.

"You ready to go, Kiddo?" LJ looked from the grave to Abby and back before taking the older woman's gaze.

"Could I have a minute? I won't be long." Abby nodded her head.

"Take as long as you need. You want me to stay?" LJ hesitated.

"I'd like to do this without an audience if I may? Are you able to wait in the car? I can come find you when I'm done?" Abby nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"Sure. I gotta call Gibbs anyway." LJ nodded and let go of her hand and went to stand beside the gravestone while Abby watched for just a second before leaving her to it.

* * *

LJ pulled open the car door and slipped into the seat with grace far beyond her years. Abby could tell from the look on her face and the tiniest of trembles in her lower lip that she wasn't in the mood to talk.

* * *

The drive was strangely quiet for Abby's car and it wasn't long before they pulled up at Gibbs' house. Both Gibbs and Ziva had assured Abby that they would be home seeing as the team hadn't caught a case and thus Jenny had let the two of them finish early, leaving plenty of time to get home before LJ got there. Abby honked the horn twice to let both agents know that they were there before getting out of the car and opening LJ's door for her.

"Thank you, Abby." LJ smiled softly.

"It's no problem, Honey." LJ nodded before they both made their way to where Gibbs was now waiting in the doorway.

"Thanks for taking her, Abbs." Abby smiled as Gibbs kissed her cheek.

"Not at all."

"I'll just go change and you can have your dress back." Abby nodded before both adults watched as Lauren ascended the stairs.

"How was it? Was she alright?" Gibbs asked the moment she was out of ear shot. Abby sighed.

"That kid is amazing. She didn't cry the whole time. She said her goodbye privately at the end although I have a feeling she didn't actually say anything. I can kinda just imagine it took a minute to sink in that it was really happening y'know?" Gibbs nodded. "Harrod's parents are horrid. They glared at her like the entire time." Gibbs was very glad to know they weren't going to fight him for custody.

"She's stronger than she should be at that age."

"Maybe. She's been through a lot in her time though, Gibbs. She'll settle soon, give her time, then she'll be a kid again." Gibbs nodded before turning to watch as LJ came back down the stairs dressed in an oversized sweater and yoga pants, both black, with her hair up in a messy bun, holding the dress with the ribbon from her hair tied around it in a perfect bow. Abby smiled. "Thanks, Kid."

"Thank you again for coming with me, Abby." Abby pulled her into a hug that lasted a second or two longer than it normally would have, before pulling apart and waving to Gibbs and leaving.

"Ziva and Ethan are cooking, wanna help?" Gibbs asked as he shut the front door and turned to face her. She shook her head.

"I'd rather read until it's ready, if that's okay?" Gibbs nodded, merely squeezing her shoulder as he walked past and into the kitchen where Ziva was chatting happily with Ethan while she prepared dinner.

* * *

LJ softly closed her bedroom door and made her way over to her book pile beside her bed. Gibbs had promised that they could go collect her bookshelves and the rest of her books that weekend but for now her stack of several classics would do. She retrieved 'Five Children and It' from the middle of the pile before crawling onto her bed. She leant against the headboard and crossed her legs, resting the spine of the book on her crossed shins before opening it to the first page and starting to read.

She had barely gotten to the end of the first line before her eyes started burning as the words blurred on the page.

She set the book down resting pages down so as to keep her page before staring at the wall opposite. The first tear of the day had barely made it all the way down her face before the trickle became a flood. LJ put her pillow over her face as she screamed her way through her sobs.

* * *

"LJ?" Ziva called softly as she rapped her knuckles against the wood of her door. "Dinner is ready." She peered around the door and her breathing hitched as she took in the scene.

LJ was curled around her pillow, book abandoned on the floor beside her, fast asleep. It was obvious that she'd been crying and it made Ziva's heart hurt.

Ziva sighed softly.

She took large steps across the room and crouched before the small girl. "Oh Tateleh." She murmured, gently smoothing her hair back from her head. She stood slowly, pulling the blankets around LJ's shoulders and tucking them in loosely. She held her hair out of the way as she leaned down to press a soft kiss to the young girl's forehead. "Lailah Tov Lauren." She silently made her way back downstairs leaving LJ to sleep.


	47. Pennie's Funeral

Friday morning, Gibbs woke to Ziva crawling back into bed and snuggling into his side, her cold feet wedged between his calves.

"Cold Ziva?" He murmured, his voice still thick with sleep. Ziva nodded against his chest, snuggling in only further. Dragged into wakefulness by her out-of-character-ness, Gibbs wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight into him. "You okay?"

"I am dreading today." She murmured against his pectoral. Gibbs pressed a comforting kiss against her crown. "Obviously not as much as LJ or Tony or _you_ but..."

"You don't have to go y'know." She shook her head, her loose curls tickling him in the movement. "You don't have…" He started to repeat before she interrupted.

"I need to be there Jethro. You will have enough to deal with today keeping yourself upright as you bury another daughter, without having to support the children and your friend as well." Gibbs tensed. "I am sorry; I should not have phrased it like that." Ziva tried furiously to backpedal until she felt his hand rub her back in firm comforting lines.

"It's okay. You're right. I told ya, I'll not hide them from you." He sighed into her hair. "Not looking forward to it either."

"Lauren was up and down all night." Gibbs nodded.

"Heard her."

"I can only imagine what she is going through." Gibbs considered that for a moment.

"Didn't you loose your mom too?" He asked softly, her losses just as painful for her as his were to him. She nodded against him.

"Not at such a young age though. And I had not lost my father on the same day." Gibbs noticed how that was the only part of Lauren's childhood she didn't identify with. But, just as there were things he was yet to share, her childhood, or lack there of, was something they hadn't explored together yet. He doubted they ever would in its entirety. Even that small snippet had made her shudder in his arms.

He continued to rub her back while she breathed him in. She had always taken comfort in the smell of him but in the last few months, since they had been sharing a bed on a regular basis, the warm comforting smell of him when he had just woken up was by far her favourite.

"Guess what happened can't help." He mused softly. He knew the subject was one that would be forever painful for them both, not just because of the event but because of how close it came to breaking them. But he also acknowledged that it would only get worse if they buried it.

Ziva's breathing hitched sharply.

"No." She replied shakily. "No, it does not. Nor does the fact that I am still healing." Gibbs had almost forgotten about her injuries. Ziva was so strong, and so adverse to her own vulnerabilities, that she hid her pain from him even now. He kinda hated that part of her. He wanted more than anything to wrap her up in his arms and take away all her pain, but he'd settle for being able to at least know when she was in pain.

"How is it?" She shrugged.

"It has been almost two weeks now. Most of my bruises have healed." Gibbs knew that bit; he'd had to help her shower for the first few days so he had seen her bruises start to heal.

"And the rest?" Ziva rolled onto her back beside him so he was able to see her as she lifted her top to just above the bottom swell of her bust. He could clearly see the lingering bruising on her rib cage but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been.

"I still cannot run, nor do strenuous exercise. That includes with you I am afraid." Gibbs chuckled. Between her injuries and what happened afterwards, he was more than happy to let her take the reins on that particular activity timeline. "My cheek is still a little sore when my medication is due but it is manageable." Gibbs gently traced his finger tip across her ribs, meticulously avoiding the ones he knew were cracked, and a couple he knew had been bruised. Ziva hummed softly.

"That good?" He smirked. She merely nodded and allowed her eyes to slip closed.

They laid there for a few more minutes, both enjoying the intimacy they had been lacking recently, before they heard LJ's alarm go off through the wall.

"Come, let us get dressed and get ready for this. Lauren will need us both today if she is to stay together."

* * *

With Ethan on Gibbs' hip, and LJ's hands encased securely in Ziva and Tony's grasps, they all followed the procession to the graveside. Gone was the carefully controlled composure of her father's funeral. Tears ran in rivulets across Lauren's cheeks.

Ethan was still too small to truly know what was going on, but he was uncharacteristically quiet and reluctant to be put down, having sat on Gibbs' lap during the service and refusing to be put down now. Not that any of the adults minded. They had all lost people and they knew this pain. They were just happy they could provide some small comfort for them. They took their seats, LJ tucked so closely into Ziva's side, while Tony held her other hand, it was almost not worth having her own seat, and watched silently as the coffin was lowered into the ground.

* * *

The rest of the people started to leave, all stopping beside the group to either give their condolences or just to offer the children a small sad smile. Tim, Lilly, Abby and Jenny all hugged LJ and offered a sympathetic smile to Tony and Gibbs before taking their leave.

* * *

Tony had managed to keep it relatively together, a few tears slipping every now and then that no one begrudged him, but he couldn't stick around to stare at her grave.

He pulled LJ into a fierce hug, which she returned with full force, before kneeling down to her level.

"Listen, Lauren, okay?" She nodded tearfully. "This doesn't mean we aren't friends still okay? You can come see me anytime. You have my number, don't hesitate to call me. I love you LJ, don't ever forget it." LJ flung herself into his arms once more, clinging to him tightly.

"I love you too." They simply held each other while Ziva and Gibbs both looked in the other direction, giving them a semblance of privacy. After a few minutes they separated and, after kissing LJ's forehead, Tony stood, kissed Ethan's crown, and went to grieve in the privacy of his own home.

* * *

Once they were the only four left, Lauren sank into her seat once more and buried her head in her hands. Ziva and Gibbs exchanged worried looks before Ziva dropped to a crouch beside her.

"What are we going to do now?" Ziva gently touched the young girl's knee, trying to comfort her in anyway possible, as she looked to Gibbs for guidance.

"If you wanted, you could stay with us." Gibbs murmured, taking the seat beside her.

"What?" She looked up at him, taking his gaze, confusion marring the ice blue of her eyes. She looked from Ziva back to Gibbs.

"Your mom put in her will that I should look after you if anything happened to her. The lawyers are sorting it out but they say you should stay with us until it's all legal." LJ's jaw slackened.

"But only if that is alright with you, the both of you." Ziva continued for him. Gibbs nodded.

"Course." The rate at which Lauren's head turned to face one adult, then the other, would have been comical if it weren't in this situation. Ziva watched emotions run in LJ's eyes for a moment before turning to watch Gibbs. She had never seen him so nervous. It was sweet how hard he was trying to make the children offered to his care happy. She smiled softly in his direction, knowing full well that his attention wasn't focused on her before turning back to the young girl.

"I'm sleepy, Mommy." Ethan's half awake statement made them all jump. They all turned to face the toddler as he rubbed his eyes and stared at Ziva. She exchanged a look with Gibbs, silently asking him what she should do. When he shrugged she went on instinct. She gently laid her hand on the back of Ethan's head, stroking her thumb back and forth, ruffling his hair just slightly.

"I know, Neshomeleh. We shall go home in just a moment." He nodded slowly before laying back against Gibbs' chest. Ziva smiled lovingly at him before following Gibbs' gaze to find LJ shooting daggers at her. "LJ…" Ziva started but the young girl shook her head in disgust before jumping to her feet and marching to the car without a backwards glance. Gibbs hoisted a practically asleep Ethan more comfortably on his hip and rose to his own feet while Ziva stood and sighed.


	48. Growing Closer

"LJ?" Ziva asked softly, running her hand up and down her arm as she trembled. No one had said a word all the way home and the only time LJ had met her eye was to glare at her.

"Don't." She murmured.

"LJ, please…"

"I said 'don't'!" She screamed before running up the stairs and slamming her door. Ziva winced before sitting heavily on the bottom step, letting out a shaky sigh and dropping her head in her hands. Gibbs closed the door and shifted an already asleep Ethan more securely onto his hip before gently squeezing Ziva's shoulder and silently walking past her to put him to bed.

* * *

Once the toddler was tucked up safely, Gibbs crossed the hall and knocked on LJ's door. "Go _away_ Ziva!" Gibbs sighed as he pushed open the door slightly.

"Not Ziver. Can I come in?" He asked gently, peering round the door so he could see her. Lauren pulled herself up so her back was against the headboard and her knees were against her chest before nodding slowly. Gibbs closed the door behind him before sitting on the end of her bed, as far away from her as possible. "You wanna talk?"

"I, I don't, know if I, can." She gasped in between sobs. Gibbs nodded.

"That's okay." He turned his head to face the wall, feeling bad staring at her as she wept.

* * *

"I, miss her, _so much."_ She murmured several minutes later. Gibbs turned to her with gentle eyes.

"I know."

"Does, does this, _pain, _ever go away?" He sighed; he had known it was only a matter of time before she asked.

"It gets less." He told her succinctly. She nodded while she tried to regulate her breathing. Gibbs took a breath before taking the plunge. He knew he couldn't not defend her. "Ziver's only trying to help." She nodded. "She's been there too; she knows what this feels like. Better at this talking stuff too." Despite the waterfall of tears still cascading down her cheeks, she giggled at that.

"You're not doing that badly." He smiled. She stared at her hands for a moment before quickly finding his eyes and looking away. The motion intrigued him almost as much as the guilt in her eyes. "I didn't mean to shout at her." She told him in a small voice.

"I know. _She_ knows. She's only trying to help."

"I know." She nodded. They lapsed back into silence before LJ sighed and crawled over to him and onto his lap. Gibbs quickly pulled her close and held her while he rocked them both. "So, they're making me yours now huh?" Gibbs chuckled.

"You'll always be Pen's; I'm just feedin' ya until you're eighteen." She giggled sadly against him and he smiled as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

"But you are our legal guardian?" Gibbs nodded against her head. "Is Ziva?"

"No."

"But, if you get married, she'll adopt us, right?" Gibbs sighed. He hadn't even thought about asking the question yet and here was his now almost daughter planning their whole lives.

"Probably." LJ nodded. "You're gonna be okay." She sniffed.

"It just hurts." The tears in her voice had him holding her tighter.

"I know Darling. I know."

* * *

Ziva was leant against the kitchen side as she waited for the kettle to boil when she felt a small set of arms curls around her waist and someone bury their head against her back. She tensed slightly until they started to talk.

"I'm sorry for shouting, and for my behaviour towards you." LJ murmured into her back. "I was upset, and angry but not at you. Do you forgive me?" Ziva quickly turned and held her tightly.

"Nothing to forgive. You do not need to explain to me, Tateleh." She murmured, rubbing gentle patterns into her back. "I understand." All of a sudden the tears she thought were over, hit her with such a force that a sob tore from her throat. Ziva quickly gathered her in her arms and picked her up, locking one hand under her and the other around her back while LJ's legs wrapped around her waist and her arms around her neck. Ziva realised mid way through the motion that it was probably not going to help her ribs any but she didn't weigh much and they both needed this. She sobbed heartbreakingly into her shoulder. "Shhh." Ziva soothed, holding her tighter. "Oh oh oh, it's alright." Gibbs chose that moment to enter the kitchen. He looked on in alarm for a moment before quickly finding Ziva's eye.

"You okay?" He mouthed at her. She nodded before tucking her head into the crook of LJ's neck. He nodded and left them to it.

* * *

Ziva gently sat LJ on the counter and wiped away her tears with her thumbs.

"It gets easier." She murmured, cupping the side of her head gently. "It does not go away, I will not lie and say it does, but it gets easier." LJ sniffed.

"Your mom and/or dad died too?" She guessed tearfully. Ziva nodded slowly.

"Both. My mother long time ago, and my father more recently. My brother and sister too." That caught her attention.

"Older or younger?" Ziva smiled sadly.

"Older brother, younger sister." LJ nodded.

"I, I didn't…"

"How could you? I have never mentioned them." She kissed her forehead gently. "Would you like to help me cook? Perhaps we could read together later?" LJ leaned in and rested her head on her shoulder while Ziva instinctually wrapped her arms loosely around her back.

"You're not my mom. Never will be to me, even if that's what you become for my brother." She sighed. "But I've always wanted a big sister." Ziva chuckled and held her tighter.

"I am happy to fill the position Achoti, more than happy to.

* * *

The master bedroom door creaked open slowly, later that night, and they were both awake immediately, ready to jump to attention if it was needed. The padding of small socked feet on carpet made its way over to the bed.

"Ziva?" LJ asked softly into the room illuminated only by the full moon creeping around the curtains, hoping she'd gotten the right side of the bed. Ziva turned over to face her with a small tired smile, unable to hold back the yawn.

"Yes Tateleh? What is it?" From the small amount of light Ziva could easily see that she'd been crying.

"I, I had a nightmare." She told her softly, unaware that her attempts to not wake Gibbs were completely pointless. "I tried to get back to sleep but…" Ziva shook her head.

"It does not matter. Come here." Ziva shifted herself, and thus Gibbs, back in the bed before lifting the covers to let LJ in. Lauren didn't waste any time before curling into Ziva's chest and sobbing. Ziva quickly held her close. "It's okay. It will all be okay." She murmured into her hair. "You are safe now, Tateleh. You are safe." Gibbs turned to face them both before gently tucking his arm around Ziva and onto LJ's back.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She murmured between shaky breaths.

"Ya didn't." Gibbs lied softly. "You okay?" She nodded against Ziva's chest as he rubbed comforting circles on her back. "You think you're gonna go back to sleep?" She shrugged and Ziva held her closer.

"Try, Tateleh. I have got you, you are safe now." It didn't take long for the combination of being held by the both of them and Ziva murmuring comforts into her ear to even out her breathing. Both adults held their breath for a moment to ensure she was really asleep before Gibbs slowly removed his hand and rolled onto his back. Ziva rolled both her and LJ into a comfier position less close to the edge of the bed.

"You expected her to get in with us tonight?" Gibbs murmured, careful not to wake her.

"I had a gut feeling. It did not surprise me." LJ whimpered in her sleep and Ziva was quick to shush her. "Poor little girl." Gibbs nodded.

"She's been through a lot."

"They both have." Gibbs sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed before standing. "Where are you going?"

"To go check on Ethan." Ziva smiled as she watched him make his way to the guest bedroom.

"He's a good man LJ." She murmured into the room. "Your mother left you in very safe hands little one."


	49. Resolution

Author's Note-I know, I know. This chapter gave me a lot of trouble actually but hey, it's here now. :D Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

Gibbs slowly pushed open the door of the guest bedroom and saw Ethan, fast asleep, spread out in a starfish across the middle of the bed. He chuckled quietly, before pulling the door ajar again and making his way back to bed.

He paused in the doorway, watching with a loving smile, as he saw LJ and Ziva cuddled up together. How she managed it he'd never know, but Ziva had managed to squash them both onto her side of the bed. Gibbs shook his head before making his way around the bed and slipping into his side. He carefully and gently slotted his hand in between Ziva's stomach and LJ's back and pulled the former towards him. She mumbled something before opening her eyes to find his.

"Jethro?" She asked sleepily. Gibbs kissed her shoulder.

"Shhh, just making sure you don't fall off the edge." She smiled, doing nothing to convince him she was actually really present, and her eyes slipped shut once more. Once Ziva was tucked into his front, he tucked the blankets back around all three of them, let his arm rest around Ziva's hips and let himself join them both in sleep.

* * *

Gibbs woke up to find Ziva staring at him, her beautiful eyes full of love and admiration.

"Hi?" Gibbs murmured, half asleep and confused by the look on her face. She grinned.

"I love you." Gibbs chuckled; tightening the arm he found was around her back and kissing her forehead.

"Good. Love you too. Reason?" Ziva smiled at the sleepiness in his voice.

"You are a good man. You allowed a hurting little girl share your bed with no comment and then went to check on her toddler brother without prompting. You are a good man. And I love you." Ziva shared softly. Gibbs smiled.

"I'm a father." He shrugged. Ziva looked at him, watching for any hint of sadness, regret, but she found none. She smiled brightly before kissing him softly. "She awake?" Ziva shook her head.

"No. I climbed over her to use the bathroom and she is still asleep." Gibbs smiled.

"Think we should let her rest." Ziva nodded. "Why don't you start breakfast, I'll go shower and then help?" Ziva smiled softly.

"Okay. I shall see you soon." They kissed once more before Gibbs got out and offered his hand to Ziva, who took it and followed him out the room. While Gibbs went into the bathroom to shower, not wanting to use the ensuite in case it disturbed Lauren, Ziva made her way downstairs to start on breakfast for four, something she guessed she could start getting used to.

* * *

A few minutes later, Gibbs appeared in the doorway, Ethan perched on his hip, his head resting heavily on his shoulder.

"Look who's awake." He called to Ziva. She turned and smiled widely at them both. Ethan almost immediately held out his arms and reached for Ziva. She hesitated for a moment, looking between the toddler and the pancakes on the stove. "Take him, I've got breakfast." Gibbs assured her. Ziva smiled.

"Come here Ethan." She cooed, taking the boy from Gibbs as they swapped places, Ziva moving to sit at the table, holding Ethan tightly in her lap, humming half forgotten tunes as she gently rocked them both from side to side while Gibbs went to the stove, expertly flipping pancakes as he watched the sight before him, letting it warm his heart and start to heal things deep in his soul.

* * *

Once LJ arrived, sleepy and disorientated, ten or so minutes later, they all sat down to eat, Ethan finally allowing Ziva to put him on his own seat beside her, the elder woman not wanting to flaunt a relationship that was clearly still confusing and painful for the young girl.

They ate in silence for several minutes, the children still trying to wake up and the adults not wanting to push them. In the end, it was LJ who broke the silence.

"My mom spent hours researching you, you know?" She informed Gibbs quietly. He put down his mug so as to give her his full attention. "Every moment my dad was out, she was on the computer checking you out." She shook her head. "I guess I know why now."

Gibbs looked across at Ziva, who was quietly helping Ethan cut up his pancakes. She caught his eye and smiled reassuringly. Her gaze telling him he had this.

"Is that so?" Gibbs asked slowly. LJ nodded before swallowing her mouthful.

"Yeah. Never got why until now. She wanted a back up plan." Ziva and Gibbs exchanged looks.

"Maybe. Maybe she just wanted to make sure I was still the man she remembered before she came to me for help. 'Specially with something as precious as the two of you." Ziva smiled widely, winking at him when he caught her eye.

"Do you think she knew?" LJ asked quietly, playing with the hem of her t-shirt as she avoided the eyes of everyone around her.

"Tateleh, your mother was such a clever woman, but she had no way of knowing this is how it would end." LJ nodded at Ziva's gentle words.

"But I guess it wasn't a surprise, for anyone." Gibbs shook his head, gently taking LJ's hands in both of his.

"Not a surprise no." LJ nodded slowly.

"I think I'll like living with you." Both the adults smiled widely.

"We are glad of that Lauren." Ziva told her gently.

"And, if Ethan wants to call you 'mom', I promise not to freak out again." LJ murmured, pulling another smile from both Ziva and Gibbs.

"Good." Gibbs chuckled. "So, shall we eat breakfast?" LJ nodded and Ziva winked at Gibbs once more.

* * *

Once breakfast was finished, and LJ and Ethan had disappeared upstairs to get dressed, Ziva made her way behind Gibbs as he rinsed their dishes and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You are so perfect." She sighed against his back. Gibbs laughed.

"Nah." Ziva cut him off as she nodded, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.

"You knew exactly what to say to her. You made her feel safe and reassured her without making her feel silly. I love you for that." Gibbs dried off his hands before turning. He kissed her softly, tenderly, before bringing her into his chest.

"Love you too." Ziva chuckled, burying her face into his body, breathing him in.

"I so hope Social Services like us." Gibbs smiled to himself, squeezing her gently.

"Have no doubt they will Ziva."


	50. Nerves and Honesty

It was Monday before any of them knew it. Children's Services had arranged an appointment to speak to the Lauren while she was at NCIS today. Everyone was understandably nervous about it.

* * *

"What do I say to them?" LJ asked quietly as Ziva drove them towards NCIS. Ziva smiled.

"You just answer their questions openly and honestly."

"Is there anything you'd rather me not mention?" The question was so quiet Ziva almost missed it. She looked at LJ, shock and worry playing in her gaze.

"Lauren, Jethro and I will never ask you to lie for us. Is there something you would not like to tell them?" LJ shrugged.

"I just wondered, if maybe, I should keep the way the two of you were after that weekend, private?" She shrugged. Ziva sighed.

"You mean my avoidance, and our argument after I, lost, the baby?" Ziva asked softly, faulting slightly on the last few words. LJ looked over at her in surprise. "I do not think for one moment that you did not know what had happened. You are a very clever girl, and we were not exactly quiet about it." Ziva replied wryly. LJ shrugged.

"It wasn't my place to ask." Ziva smiled gently. "But yes, that is to what I am referring. And also you and Tony after he found out about you and Gibbs."

"Lauren listen to me okay?" She waited until the twelve year old nodded before continuing. "What you say in this conversation with them will not be shared. Neither Jethro nor myself will ever ask what was said. If you want to discuss our arguments, your feelings surrounding them, we will not blame you. Lauren we love you and nothing will ever change that." Ziva paused, suddenly aware that Jethro hadn't told her that yet and she herself had only ever told her once she was asleep. She decided to bite the bullet and forge ahead regardless."Nothing you say to them will make us love you any less. I promise." LJ nodded slowly while Ziva pulled her car into her space and killed the engine.

"Ziva?" LJ started hesitantly. Ziva turned to give her her full attention.

"Yes Tateleh?" LJ shot her a tiny smile.

"I love you both too."

* * *

Ziva dropped LJ off with Abby, promising to come and collect her again in time to take her up to the conference room, that Jenny had kindly reserved for the meeting with Children's Services, at one. The director had actually been very accommodating and Ziva made a mental note to remember to thank her.

She got back to her desk shortly before Gibbs and, after sharing a slightly worried smile, they switched on their computers and got to work.

* * *

"Yeah, Gibbs." Their team leader answered his ringing desk phone a couple of hours later. The team all started to grab their gear as they saw him write down an address. "Got it, thanks." He hung up the phone and turned to find his team standing, gear in hand. A smile curled his lip as he nodded towards the elevator.

* * *

They had been working the scene for longer than any of them realised when Ziva's ringing phone interrupted their flow. The team were all in the know of how important today was so no one questioned it.

"David?" She answered as Gibbs straightened from his place talking to Ducky in time to watch the colour drain from her face.

He was by her side in three steps.

"Lauren I am sorry." She murmured, closing her eyes, mortified. "The time has run away from us. Abby will take you and I promise I will be there to meet you once it is over." She paused, listening to the other side of the conversation while Gibbs looked on, ignoring the curious looks Tony and Tim were sharing behind them. "You will be just fine Tateleh I assure you... Of course you may, do not be silly. But I will be there okay?" Ziva nodded along with whatever LJ was saying. "Okay. I am so sorry. We will make this up to you." She said goodbye and wished her luck before ending the call and hanging her head.

"Ziva?" Gibbs asked quietly, laying his hand at the base of her back. "Everything okay?"

"It is quarter to one Jethro." He looked at her blankly for half a second before recognition kicked in. He looked at his watch before cursing. "Exactly."

"What's bad about it being quarter to one?" Tony asked, unsure if he should, but too curious not to.

"Lauren has her appointment with Children's Services at one o'clock. I promised her this morning that I would be there to take her. She is so nervous and I have let her down." Ziva's voice grew quieter as her statement went on until she practically whispered the last few words. She shook her head at herself.

"You haven't let her down Zi." Tony assured her quickly, abandoning his photographing to join her. "You're working, I'm sure she understands. Did she say you'd let her down?" Ziva shook her head.

"No. She asked when I was coming down and reminded me of the time. Then she told me that she was okay but 'rather nervous', and then asked if she could call me when it was over. She didn't sound as if she believed me when I said I would be there though." Tony and Gibbs exchanged looks.

"Why don't I drive you back now? Who knows how long this will take and we're about twenty minutes out anyway. I'm sure Gibbs can do without us?" He looked up for confirmation from their boss and was shocked to receive a mouthed 'thank you' instead. Tony nodded. "Come on, if we leave now we'll definitely be there in time." Tony nodded, more to himself than his partner or boss and grabbed his gear, making his way back to the car to leave Ziva and Gibbs alone for a moment, the rest of the team having already returned to their duties.

"Jethro?" Ziva asked quietly. He drew her in and kissed her gently.

"Go support our girl." He murmured. "We can handle this." He laid his forehead against hers for a moment. "Phone me? Let me know how it goes?" He knew that he'd probably be out for the rest of the day talking to witnesses and following leads. Ziva nodded.

"Of course I will." Gibbs pulled back and kissed her forehead.

"Go on." Ziva nodded and kissed him quickly before making her way over to the car and slipping into the passenger seat, smiling her thanks to her partner as she did.


	51. Supporting Friends

Author's Note-Some of you keep asking me about Tony. Well here he is :D Little bit of how he's doing, in the midst of angsty stuff for LJ, and maternal stuff for Ziva. Enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

"How are you, doing?" Ziva started slightly awkwardly as Tony drove them back to the Navy Yard. Tony shot her a tiny smile.

"Yeah, not bad. I'm still seeing my therapist." He chuckled slightly. "Nice guy." Ziva smiled. "I uh, I've been to her grave a couple of times, made my peace, said my bit, y'know?" Ziva nodded.

"You seem to be coping pretty well considering…" Ziva trailed off awkwardly.

"There are no hard feelings Zi. Gibbs had to help you and support you. Pennie didn't die because you were knocked unconscious or because he stopped to help you." Tony looked across at her quickly, picking up the guilt in her eyes. "I don't blame you, you know that right? Harrod wouldn't have not killed Pennie if you hadn't have fought him. The only change would have been us losing LJ too. And I couldn't live with that." Ziva nodded.

"And you are okay? With Jethro and I having the children I mean?" Tony smiled at her warmly.

"Ziva, are you planning on never letting me see Lauren and Ethan once they're under your care?" Ziva shook her head vigorously.

"Of course not, why would we? You care about them just as much…" He held up a hand to stop her ramblings.

"Right then. Ziva I'm far better suited to being their crazy Uncle who gets them hyped up on sugar before I send them home, than being a responsible parental figure. You and Gibbs are their best option." Ziva smiled slightly.

"You know you are more than welcome, anytime, to come see them, yes?" Tony smiled.

"I know." He winked at her, a warm smile on his lips. "How are things? Post that weekend?" Ziva shuffled in her seat slightly. "You don't have to answer that." She appreciated the out but she trusted him.

"Things are, better. He told me what you said, in the elevator. How you were looking out for me." Tony smiled.

"You're my partner Ziva. I have your six, in and out of the field." She smiled.

"We have discussed, albeit briefly, about perhaps trying again some day." Tony looked over to her as he stopped at a red light, tender care swimming in his gaze. "Not for a while yet, of course. It has only been a couple of weeks and we have enough to deal with, with Children's Services and the children and making our way back to each other but, it is on the table yes?" Tony smiled.

"That sounds promising." Ziva nodded.

"I believe so." They exchanged smiles and Tony pulled away. It wasn't long until they pulled into the parking lot.

* * *

Ziva and Tony quickly made their way through the building before coming to rest, and catch their breath, just down the corridor from the Conference room.

"Do you think she is okay?" Ziva asked softly, barely hearing the low murmur of second hand conversation through the door, indicating they were yet to finish. Seeing as they were only fifteen minutes in, that wasn't surprising. Tony nodded, leaning casually against the wall.

"Of course she will be. You've met our Lauren right? She'll be fine." Ziva smiled fondly. "You've really fallen for her haven't you?" Ziva blushed slightly before taking her partner's gaze.

"I love her Tony. That little girl is so perfect and has been through so much that was so easily preventable. I want to make the rest of her life as perfect as I can." Tony smiled widely.

"I have no doubt that you will Zi." They leaned against the wall, clock watching until LJ was ready.

* * *

"Thank you for talking to me today Lauren." A dark haired woman in her early thirties opened the door as she spoke kindly. "We will be in touch with you all once we have finished our inquiries." Lauren stepped out from behind her, looking tired and sad, and both Tony and Ziva were back on their feet, from where they had sunk to sit against the wall, and by her side the moment they saw her. Lauren granted them a tiny smile before practically falling into Ziva, wrapping her arms around her as tightly as she could without hurting her still healing ribs and folded herself into her embrace. Ziva held her just as tightly.

"You would be Agent David, I take it?" The woman asked, extending a hand to Ziva. Ziva smiled and shook her hand quickly before wrapping back around LJ's gently shuddering shoulders. She didn't call attention to the fact the twelve year old was crying.

"Ziva, please." She smiled softly, running her hand up and down LJ's back, caringly but subtly soothing her. "I didn't catch your name." The stranger smiled.

"Mellissa Redgrave." Ziva nodded. "As I told Lauren, we will be in touch as soon as we have spoken to everyone we need to." She smiled once more before nodding to Tony and taking her leave.

* * *

"Tateleh?" Ziva asked softly, bending her head to rest her cheek on Lauren's crown. The young girl pulled back out of her embrace and curled her own arms around herself. It broke the two adults' hearts to watch her self-soothe.

"Sorry. I'm okay." LJ spoke quickly and quietly, looking no higher than the agents' shoes. Ziva shook her head.

"No LJ, you are not. I do not mind that you are not okay. That must have been tough." LJ took half a step back, jumping violently when she backed into Tony before pulling away and taking another step away from the two now concerned agents.

"Sweetheart?" Tony asked gently. "You're safe here. I know that you know that Lauren I'm just reminding you." He waited until she nodded marginally before continuing. "What we do now is up to you." He shot Ziva a look, questioning his statement but his partner smiled and he took it for the confirmation it was. "What do you need?" Lauren shrugged. "Okay, do you know what you want?" LJ hesitated for a long moment, neither agent moved, knowing that she had to be their priority.

"I want my mom." She told them so softly they barely heard it. She shook her head. "I know I can't have her, I'm not under any illusions there, but that's what I want." You could almost hear Tony and Ziva's hearts breaking. They both granted her a moment, neither saying a word. "What time is it?" LJ asked, her voice trembling almost as much as her tiny body.

"Twenty to two." Tony answered gently; curious as to why that was the question she was asking. LJ nodded.

"You have to go catch a bad guy?" The question was hesitant, reluctant. Ziva shook her head immediately, shocking both the people beside her.

"Jethro, Tony and Tim can catch the bad guys, Lauren. The only thing I need to do today is try to make this as easy as possible on you." Tony smiled, never prouder of his partner than he was in that moment. LJ nodded.

"You reckon you have another favour in Jenny?" Ziva smiled.

"Would you like to go home little one?" LJ nodded quickly before burying her face in her hands, huge sobs shaking her shoulders. Ziva drew her back into her chest but didn't say a word. "Tony? Could you call Jethro for me, let him know I'll be taking the children home?"

"Course. I'll let Pippa know you're coming for Ethan too." Ziva smiled.

"Thank you." She squeezed Lauren gently to get her attention. "Lauren, you and I are going to go and talk to the director. Then we will go and pick up your brother and go home. Does that sound okay?" Lauren nodded against her. "You ready to go?" Another nod. "Come on then." She took the twelve year old's hand and led her to the elevator while Tony pulled his cell.


	52. The Dilemma Of Parenthood

"Hey Boss." Tony greeted the moment Gibbs picked up the line.

"Hey DiNozzo." Gibbs replied. "How'd it go?" Tony sighed, running his hand down his face as he leaned against the elevator. He figured seeing as he had nothing else to do, he'd go and collect Ethan while Ziva was negotiating with Jenny.

"Not great boss. LJ's pretty shaken up. She hasn't told us what happened but she's beat Gibbs." It was Gibbs' turn to sigh.

"Where's Ziva?" Tony smiled softly.

"In with the director. That's why I'm calling actually. Zi wanted you to know that she was going to take the kids home. LJ's not really in a place to spend the rest of the day here and if she's going home, they might as well take Ethan." Gibbs nodded.

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Tell Ziva I'll call her as soon as I can." Tony smiled, so glad his friends were happy together.

"Will do boss. How's the case going?"

"Seems to be open and shut but I'll keep ya updated." Gibbs told him, watching as McGee spoke to the first officer on the seen.

"Appreciate that boss. You need me to come back or shall I just work from here?" Tony asked, exiting the elevator as it reached the day-care's floor.

"Nah, no point. Just stay there. Ethan's seat's in my car, can you help Ziva transfer it?" Tony smiled.

"Course. I'll leave you to it." Tony smiled to the receptionist of the day care as Gibbs hung up. "Hi, I'm here to collect Ethan Harrod? I called down."

* * *

Ziva knocked deftly on the wood of the door once Cynthia had assured her that the director was in fact in her office and wasn't otherwise engaged. She waited until Jenny called for her to come in before turning to LJ.

"Would you rather stay with me or would you be alright out here while I speak to her?" LJ shrugged. "I do not mind either way." Ziva smiled warmly. LJ nodded.

"I'll be okay out here." Ziva squeezed her hand before opening the door, flashing LJ a soft smile as she sat on the waiting chairs before entering the office.

"Ziva. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Jenny asked warmly, smiling as her old friend came to stand in front of her desk.

"Hi Jenny." Ziva started softly. "Listen, I know how much you have already done for our team recently, myself and Gibbs especially and I'm really sorry to do this, but I need to take Lauren home." Jenny leaned back in her chair.

"Is she sick?" Ziva shook her head.

"No, she had her meeting with Children's Services. It was tough." Jenny nodded slowly.

"Is this going to become a regular thing? I can't have my MCRT one short all the time because of those kids Ziva." The younger woman shook her head quickly.

"No. I agree and we will make sure it does not become a regular occurrence. It is just for this afternoon." Ziva sighed. "You should see her, Jen. She's trembling. I do not know how to help her but being here for the rest of the day will not help." Jenny nodded. Ziva shifted her weight from one foot to the other, uncharacteristically nervous as she watched her boss deliberate her options.

"Okay. Take her home and I'll see you back here tomorrow." Ziva smiled.

"Thank you Jenny." Jenny nodded and waved her off with a smile. Ziva nodded to her as she opened the door before shutting it behind her and taking LJ's hand.

* * *

Tony met them at the bottom of the stairs; a peacefully sleeping Ethan curled into his chest.

"Hey, how'd it go?" He asked quietly, eyes flitting from his partner to LJ as she clung to Ziva's hand. Ziva smiled.

"She was okay with it, once I had assured her it wasn't an everyday occurrence." She whispered, gently stroking a lock of hair from Ethan's forehead. "I thought you were going to phone down?" Tony shrugged.

"Gibbs says it's pointless heading back out so I thought I'd help you out and go collect him, save you a journey." Ziva smiled. "He also told me to tell you that he'd call you as soon as he could and asked me if I'd help you transfer Ethan's seat." Ziva chuckled.

"It does not like me." Tony huffed out a laugh.

"Best get that sorted then huh?" Ziva nodded before squeezing LJ's hand and following her partner to the elevator.

* * *

After a couple of failed attempts, Tony managed to get Ethan's car seat secure in the back of Ziva's car, while LJ was curled up in the front seat and Ethan was snuggled into Ziva's chest, both of them fast asleep.

"You want me to put him in?" Tony asked mutedly, indicating to the sleeping toddler, as he stretched his back upright. Ziva shook her head.

"I have it." They exchanged smiles before Ziva bent to gently transfer Ethan into the seat and strap him in carefully. Once she had shut the door as quietly as she could, she turned to her partner. "Thank you." Tony shrugged.

"No big deal. Text me when you get home, yeah?" Ziva smiled.

"I shall." Tony sighed as he watched Lauren sleep through the passenger window.

"What do you think they talked about that made her so upset?" Ziva shrugged.

"I have no idea. I want to know, so I can help her, but I do not want to pry." Tony chuckled, making Ziva's brow furrow in confusion.

"You're officially a parent." When Ziva looked only more confused Tony continued. "The dilemma every parent faces, is how to not pry, and thus push their child away, but at the same time, know enough, so as to help them deal with whatever it is that's bothering them." Ziva looked from one sleeping child to the other; unable to help the soft smile that curved her lips. "You're gonna be an amazing parent Zi, to them or to your own." Ziva looked up at him.

"You really think so?" Tony chuckled, drawing her into a hug.

"I know it."


	53. Family

Once Ziva had put Ethan to bed and text Tony to let him know they were home safely, she made both herself and LJ a cup of tea and sat beside her on the couch. She had woken up when Ziva had stopped the car and trudged into the house without a word.

"Thank you." LJ murmured, taking her mug and cradling it to her chest while Ziva sat at the opposite end of the couch, drawing her legs up under her, leaning against the arm of the couch so she could face her. LJ mimicked her position and took a sip. "I'm okay."

"I know." Ziva smiled softly.

"It's just hard." Ziva nodded, choosing to ignore the break in her voice for now.

"I know that too." LJ nodded, taking another sip, blinking hard to rid her eyes of moisture.

"My mom was a really good person, and a great mom, she just wasn't great when it came to him. She loved him, and I get that, but it wasn't her job to save him, y'know?" Ziva nodded, letting Lauren take the lead in this conversation. If she had started there then this was clearly something she needed to get out. "She would cry herself to sleep the nights he wouldn't come home, lock herself in the bathroom after he lost his temper." Lauren sighed. "Ziva, I want to live here. I am more than happy to become legally yours and live here. I want that for Ethan, for myself." Ziva granted her a small smile. "But I need a promise from you."

"I will try Lauren." LJ nodded.

"I am aware that it is more likely that the sky will fall, than for Gibbs to ever raise his hand to you, but if it happens, I need you to promise me you won't stand for it, especially not for our sake because we would be better off without it." Ziva closed her eyes unconsciously.

"Lauren..." She started softly.

"Ziva, I _know_ how unlikely it is, but I need this from you, please." There was such desperation in her eyes, in her words, that Ziva's heart hurt.

"I promise. In the very unlikely event that Jethro ever raised his hand to me, or either of you, I would pack my bags and leave. I can assure you."

"Good, that's uhh, good." Lauren nodded shakily.

"Tateleh, would you like to talk about what had you so upset earlier?" Lauren shook her head.

"Not really." Ziva smiled.

"If that changes..."

"I know. Anytime, day or night, if I want to talk to you about anything, I need only ask."

* * *

"Hey, everything alright?" Gibbs' voice filtered down the line when Ziva answered a few hours later. She couldn't help the besotted smile that curved her lips as she leaned back against the couch cushions.

"Everything is fine this end, both the children are asleep." She checked her watch. "Actually I must go wake them in a moment." Gibbs chuckled. "What?" She asked, laughing along with him.

"Just liked the sound of that coming from you." Ziva felt her cheeks heat up. "How's LJ?" Ziva sighed.

"Emotionally exhausted. We had a small talk when we got home, drank tea, she seemed to calm down before going for a nap. She was sobbing when she left that room, Jethro." Gibbs sighed.

"Do you need me to come home, Ziva?" She smiled.

"We are okay. Besides, you will be home soon anyway, yes? How are things with the case?"

"Open and shut. It was the wife. She confessed pretty quickly. Just writing it up as we speak. Should be home by eighteen thirty, latest."

"I can handle things here for two hours, Jethro. We will be fine."

"Okay. Just call if ya need me though." Ziva smiled.

"If I did not know better Jethro, I would think you were hoping for a reason to not fill out your paperwork." Gibbs laughed out loud, making Ziva's smile grow.

"Love you Ziva." Ziva's smile softened as she closed her eyes, still a little overcome whenever he told her that.

"I love you too."

* * *

Gibbs let himself in a couple of hours later and paused in the doorway to take in the sight before him. Ziva was flitting around the kitchen, adding spices and chopped ingredients to whatever was bubbling away on the stove, smelling divine. That wasn't an unusual sight anymore, the thing that had a goofy smile breaking on his face was that she was laughing. She and LJ were singing along with the radio and laughing like school girls. Ethan was happily sat on the counter beside his sister, laughing at the two females as they danced and sang and laughed.

After his phone call to Ziva, he had expected to come home to a very different scene. 'She was sobbing when she left that room, Jethro' set him up to believe that the household would be tense and emotional. This was a pleasant surprise.

Gibbs shut the door, loud enough that he knew it would alert Ziva to his presence, if she didn't know already, and left his coat on the hook before making his way into the kitchen.

He captured Ziva around the waist, hugging her from behind, bringing her gently back into his chest.

"You are late, Jethro." Ziva murmured. He chuckled against her ear.

"Traffic was bad." He gently pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, just above where it met her shoulder, smiling as he felt, more than heard, the soft hum it brought from her chest. "This is a nice sight to come home to." Ziva smiled.

"LJ and I decided that we needed some music in order to cook properly, it seems we both knew the song." LJ giggled and both adults turned to her, Ziva still firmly encased in Gibbs' arms, wanting to be nowhere else.

"Ziva started humming along and I recognised the song so I started humming too. Then she started singing, it kinda turned into who could sing the loudest from there." Gibbs smiled against his girlfriend's cheek.

"I thought I heard cats being strangled." Ziva brought her hand back against his chest none too gently.

"Just for that you can do the dishes." Gibbs chuckled.

"After my beautiful woman cooked, it'd be rude not to." He kissed her rapidly warming cheek before making his way over to Ethan. "Come on little man, let's go get your hands washed." Ziva watched as Gibbs scooped the toddler onto his hip and tickled him as he took them both to the bathroom to wash up for dinner. She shook her head with a soft smile before turning to LJ.

"Why don't you set the table, this is nearly ready." LJ nodded and hopped off the counter, grabbing the plates and silver wear they had gotten out earlier and making her way over to the table to set it for their meal. Ziva shut off the burner and leaned against the counter beside it, watching as Lauren rounded the table, sorting everything out, a smile still on her face, and couldn't helping thinking about just how very right this scene was.


	54. Decision Made

The next few weeks passed in a blur of official meetings for the team. Social Services evidently wanted to speak to the entire team- Ducky, Abby and Jimmy included- as well as Jenny.

It had been a month since LJ met with Mellissa Redgrave and Ziva was at her final hospital check-up when her phone rang. She smiled when she looked at her screen, confirming her suspicion that it was Gibbs calling.

"Hey." She answered softly as she walked out the main entrance and made her way to her car.

"How'd it go?" Gibbs asked caringly. Ziva smiled.

"Fine. They have given me the all clear. My ribs and cheek bone have healed nicely, no lasting damage."

Gibbs sighed in relief. "Good. That's good."

Ziva shook her head, a gentle smile curving her lips. "We expected nothing less. I have not felt pain in more than a week."

"I know."

Ziva heard metal groaning quietly down the line. "Are you in the elevator?"

Gibbs chuckled lightly, running a slightly apprehensive hand round the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Something in his voice had her a little concerned.

"Why?" She asked slowly.

"Got a call. From Mellissa Redgrave." Ziva immediately sat up straighter, her full attention now on their conversation.

"And?" She asked quietly, nervously.

"She wants to talk to us, together, in an hour." Ziva looked at her watch.

"I will be there in twenty. What do you think she wants?" Gibbs shrugged.

"Didn't say." Ziva took a deep breath and started her car with her spare hand.

"Okay. I will be there shortly."

* * *

Ziva and Gibbs were already sat in the conference room when Abby came up to the bullpen looking for Gibbs.

"Tony!" Abby cried excitedly. "Where's Gibbs? I have results for him!" Tony smiled tightly. "What happened?" She asked, suddenly all business as she grabbed Ziva's chair and sat between both agents still in the bullpen.

"He and Ziva have been in a meeting with someone from CPS for the last ten minutes."

"I thought Ziva was at the hospital this morning?" Abby asked looking from Tony to Tim.

"She was. She got the all clear. She took it to the Director before she and Gibbs went into the Conference Room. They both looked pretty nervous." Tim filled in. Tony scoffed.

"Nervous McUnderstatment? They were holding hands. Ziva looked as pale as I've ever seen her." Abby gasped.

"Do you think it's bad? LJ and Ethan need to stay with them. If they don't they'll go in the system. Not that there's necessarily anything bad about that. But they might hate it. Or get separated. What if they never see each other again. Or us."

"Abby." Tony called, breaking her from her ramblings. "Whatever happens, you know Gibbs will fight to keep them, or at least keep them together." Abby nodded slowly.

"So what do you think they're talking about?" Both men shrugged as the scientist turned to them.

"Don't know. We'll find out soon enough though." Tony reassured her. "So, you said you had results?" Abby nodded, some of her usual bounce returning.

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva both shook Ms Redgrave's hand before leaving her to the agent assigned to chaperone her through the building. The moment she was out of sight, Ziva leaned into Gibbs' chest, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly.

"You okay?" He asked softly, holding her tight, revelling in the ability to do so without worrying.

She nodded into his shirt before pulling back slightly. "Come, we must go see Jenny." Gibbs held fast when Ziva tried to move away. "Jethro?" She asked concernedly.

"Let me just hold ya for a minute?" Ziva smiled and snuggled back into his body, humming softly in contentment when he held her only closer. "Missed this." Ziva smiled against him.

"Me too." She assured him on a sigh.

* * *

Ziva insisted on knocking, much to the secretary's amusement, and waited until the director called them in. Gibbs followed murmuring quietly about how it was a waste of time knocking if you knew she wasn't busy.

"You asked to see us, Director?" Ziva started, slightly less sure of herself than usual. Jenny smiled softly.

"How did the meeting go?" She asked, looking from one to the other.

"Not bad." Gibbs told her, moving marginally closer to Ziva when he noticed that she was still shaking slightly; it had started just before the meeting and was apparently yet to dissipate, adrenalin still flooding her system.

"Well I have just received a call from Ms Redgrave's boss." Jenny continued, not missing but feeling no need to comment, on Gibbs' move or Ziva's trembling.

Ziva smiled tightly. "And?"

Jenny chuckled.

"Don't look so nervous Ziva." She smiled. "I was informed of their decision." She looked from one agent to the other before reaching for two sheets of paper from in front of her and holding them out. Neither agent moved. "I have taken the liberty of filling them in and signing them off for you." Gibbs moved first, taking the sheet that bore his name. "It is a leave request for two weeks. Seeing as you both seem adverse to taking your vacation days, you have more than enough to cover it."

Ziva smiled brightly and Gibbs gave a relieved chuckle beside her. "So, sign the bottom and as of the end of the day today, you both have two weeks leave." Ziva took her form and leaned over the desk to sign her name. "I expect this new arrangement not to affect your work negatively."

"Plenty of agents have kids." Gibbs said, handing back the form.

"I am aware. And I know you will both try your hardest to make Lauren and Ethan as happy as possible."

Ziva shook her head disbelievingly, still not sure this was ever going to sink in, trying not to let the happy tears fall while Gibbs smiled and gently kissed her temple.

"Thanks Jen." Jenny shook her head, taking Ziva's form.

"Not at all Jethro. Now go. I do believe Miss Sciuto may have just solved your case."


	55. Here We Go

With their case solved, and half the team on leave, the MCRT was taken out of major case circulation for the next two weeks. Not only did that mean that Tony and Tim didn't need to prepare to work two members short, it also meant that leaving at six was on time, rather than early.

* * *

Once they had said goodbye, making tentative dinner plans with the team for the last day of their leave, Gibbs and Ziva took their children home.

Ziva was stood in the kitchen, making dinner while the children played and read in the living room, when Gibbs came up from the basement to stand in the kitchen doorway.

"You are staring again Jethro." Ziva murmured as she stirred the pot of homemade pasta sauce on the stove. Gibbs chuckled before moving to lean against the counter beside her. Ziva lifted out the spoon and blew on it gently before cupping her hand underneath and holding it out for him to taste. Gibbs hummed in appreciation.

"That's good." Ziva smiled softly.

"Thank you." Gibbs watched her for a moment, noticing the tension in her posture.

"You okay?" He murmured gently, smoothing his hand across the base of her back. She sighed.

"I am fine, Jethro. Just tired." Gibbs turned down the gas on the stove to its lowest heat and gently prised her hand off the spoon to take them both in his own. She watched the floor while he stared at her, eyes gentle and caring.

"Ziver? Look at me." He commanded softly. She shook her head quickly. "What's wrong?"

"It is silly." She mumbled, yet to meet his eyes even as she squeezed his hands gently.

"Not if it's got you this bothered." He told her gently. "Talk to me." Ziva sighed deeply.

"What if they are not happy? I am aware that LJ has said that she wants to live here but that was when it was a question rather than a reality. What if they do not want to live here, to become ours, to be a family with us?" Jethro gently cupped her cheek as he squeezed the other hand.

"Ziva, how 'bout we just take this one step at a time?" Ziva nodded quickly, chuckling to herself.

"I told you it was silly." Gibbs shook his head.

"Nah, normal." He told her before leaning in and kissing her softly.

* * *

Ziva sat across from LJ while Ethan sat on Gibbs' lap, all of them staring at each other. They'd eaten dinner in a not uncomfortable silence and had then all moved through to the lounge. Ethan was barely awake but fighting sleep like a trooper as LJ fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

"Is everything alright?" She asked eventually, when the adults' staring became too much for her to handle. Gibbs looked from Ziva to the little girl.

"Got something to tell ya." LJ nodded slowly.

"About Social Services yes? Abby mentioned something about the two of you having a meeting." Ziva smiled.

"Yes, we did. Lauren, you probably know better than us by now but..." she filtered off, unsure of how to do this. She could break bad news, comfort grieving families, be a hard ass and break criminals but telling the little girl in front of her that this was it, was her toughest assignment yet. Gibbs watched her flounder for a second, hoping she would regain her momentum, before jumping to her rescue.

"Social Services agreed we're the best placement for you." He told her succinctly but not unkindly. "This is your home now." LJ sat stock still, neither adult even sure she was still breathing.

"This, huh, this is really happening isn't it?" Lauren whispered into the room. She shook her head and stared at the ground for a long moment before standing suddenly. "I uh, I just umm." She hesitated. "Night." She finally settled on before fleeing up the stairs. Ziva made to follow her but Gibbs' hand on her arm halted her progress.

"Give her a minute." He murmured. Ziva nodded before sinking back in her chair. Ethan, meanwhile, looked from her to Gibbs curiously before turning to the stairs.

"What's wrong?" He asked shyly around the thumb firmly in his mouth.

"I think she is in shock, Little One." Ziva told him gently. "She is okay. She just needs a moment." Ethan nodded slowly.

"Zeeba?" He asked softly after a moment.

"Yes Ethan?" Ziva replied just as softly.

"When's mommy comin' home?" Ziva felt her heart sink as she looked to Gibbs for guidance, only to find his eyes shut, devastation clear on his features. She took a deep breath before standing and extending her hand. Distraction was the only weapon she had in her arsenal right now.

"Come, let us get you bathed and in bed hmm? I will read to you." Ethan, thankfully, nodded and took her hand before letting her take him up stairs.

The moment they were out of sight, Gibbs fell back into the back of the couch with a sigh. He knew this part was coming. The part where it all really sank in, when the questions began. When LJ would resent them and shut herself off. When Ethan would be too young to understand the answers no matter how many times he was told them. This part was the toughest. He and Ziva would need to have a long talk about how they were going to handle this part. This is where they could make a break these kids. Gibbs shook his head before getting up and following his girlfriend up the stairs. The best thing he could do right now was support her. They needed each other if they were going to get through this.


	56. Coming Through The Other Side

Author's Note-I know it's short, but it made sense to end it where I did. Oh and ZC, broad enough strokes? ;) Read, review and enjoy. NYLF xx

* * *

What followed were months of heart ache.

Ethan would wake up every morning and ask Ziva, who would always help him get dressed and ready for day-care, where mommy was and when she was coming home.

His constant questioning about Pennie affected LJ no end. She spent those first months switching rapidly between sullen and withdrawn to lashing out at anyone around her.

Ziva and Gibbs tried their hardest to reassure her, comfort her, while still acknowledging that she needed to lash out, to stop bottling her emotions, but it got to them too.

Many a night in those first months, Gibbs would find Ziva sat in his basement, swirling whiskey around her glass, tears falling down her face. He hadn't seen her so heart broken since everything that happened surrounding her miscarriage and it physically hurt to see her like that.

They were near the end of the third month when LJ screamed at Ziva, mid-argument, that she wasn't her mother, that she wasn't fit to be a mother.

Gibbs' heart broke for her when he watched, helpless, as his girlfriend crumpled. She'd fallen back into the sofa and stared into space for the rest of the day, absolutely silent.

He'd immediately sent Lauren to her room, and phoned Tony to take Ethan for the day, leaving him free to sit beside her, gently stroking her hand with his thumb, while she suffered silently.

That was their rock bottom.

The next morning Lauren apologised profusely, repeating over and over how horrible she'd been, how Ziva was a brilliant parent to her and her brother, how she didn't mean what she said and how sorry she was.

They hugged it out and called a truce with Lauren agreeing to go and talk to someone about everything that happened and to try and let her guardians in.

Ethan also seemed to eventually accept that his mother wasn't coming home.

He still occasionally called Ziva 'mommy', when he was tired or had just woken up mostly, but for the most part, he was happy with 'Zeeba' and 'Gibbs'. He was happy and settled in day-care and seemed to be adjusting to life with his new guardians well.

* * *

Six months passed. Lauren started school and was quick to make friends with people in her classes, something both the entire team and her counsellor were happy to hear. Ethan was growing into the happy playful toddler he was supposed to be, now he didn't have to deal with fighting surrounding him all the time. Ziva and Gibbs were adjusting well to being parents. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows but it was going well.

* * *

The team found themselves stronger too.

Tony had stopped seeing his therapist and accepted everything that happened that day. He still made frequent visits to Pennie's grave, taking both children with him, both together and separately, whenever they needed it, and saw both children all the time, officially the first person called in any non-work related situation in which they required a sitter.

Tim and Lilly were doing brilliantly . Tim had been to meet his niece and Lilly's parents and Lilly frequently came along for group nights out.

They were a stronger team and more like a family than ever.

* * *

Gibbs watched on from the sidelines while Tony, Tim and Ziva all argued about their last case. The smiles and laughter stopped it from being serious enough for him to have to step in and he was more than happy watching. There was a lightness to his team he hadn't seen in months and he was overjoyed to see it back.

Ziva caught his eyes while the boys started a debate on the latest football game and gave him a shy, loving smile before engaging back into the conversation.

He loved her so much, recent events only cementing that for him. He would never be able to watch her leave; he'd forgotten how to be without her. They'd been together for more than a year now, the anniversary spent at home, mostly in bed, while Tony had the kids, and that little black box had been sat in his draw for months.

Things had been so up in the air that asking her would have just put more stress on her, rather than making them happy, so he'd held off, but now everything was more settled, maybe the time was coming for the fifth and final time to ask the question.


	57. The Next Step

Author's Note-Short, but I doubt you'll complain. NYLF xx

* * *

Ziva dropped down onto the sofa beside Gibbs and gratefully accepted the glass of red wine he offered her.

"Kids asleep?" Gibbs asked softly, drawing her into his side. Ziva nodded against his chest.

"Lauren was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, Ethan finally nodded off after his third bedtime story." Gibbs chuckled.

"Ya know I'd help if you ask." Ziva shook her head.

"It was fine. I enjoy spending time with them." Gibbs smiled and gently pressed a kiss to her crown.

* * *

They sat in a comfortable silence for several hours, mind-numbing television playing in the background while they simply relaxed, letting the week's cases and daily stresses of parenting a preteen and a toddler slip away, each other's calm loving company soothing them.

* * *

"You still awake?" Gibbs asked softly some time later, gently playing with her fingers where they rested on his chest. He felt her nod against him.

"Just about." She murmured before yawning. Gibbs chuckled. He leaned down far enough to rest his cheek on the top of her head before slipping his hand into his pocket. He slowly pulled his hand out, hesitating for just a moment before slipping the ring onto her fourth finger.

Ziva gasped, her eyes immediately trained onto her finger.

The eighteen carat yellow gold band split in the middle and sat either side of the half carat princess cut diamond, holding it at an angle which reflected the light from the lamp beside them brilliantly.

"Not good with words." Ziva snorted, despite the tears building in her eyes and forming a lump in her throat, making him chuckle. "Yeah, okay. But I try to find the right ones when it matters, and you matter."

"Jethro?" Ziva asked softly, shakily.

"Love you Ziva, with all my heart. I know I haven't been the best partner at times; know I've hurt you, made you doubt yourself and us. But I do love you. Want you to know that I'm in this. For good. Want you to be my wife, if you'll have me."

"Jethro." Ziva breathed; shocked would have been an understatement of what she was feeling.

"Final woman I ask, I promise." He murmured into her hair. Ziva chuckled thickly.

"Yes." She whispered before pulling back out of his arms far enough to face him. She gave him the most dazzling smile he'd ever been privileged to see, even as the tears welling in her eyes spilled down her cheeks, sparkling like the diamond on her finger.

"Yeah?" He asked gratefully. Ziva giggled tearfully and leaned in, capturing his lips in a sweet, clinging kiss.

"Yes, Jethro. I would be honoured to be your wife."

* * *

A link to the engagement ring will be on my profile


End file.
